YOUR Zombie Apocolypse Plan

I'm just going to hang myself now and not have to worry about answering anymore Zombie Apocalypse preparation threads before the apocalypse actually happens.

 

Be warned, long post. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:


At the first sign of an outbreak of the undead, I'd haul my ass over to the nearest grocery stores and get all the non pearishable supplies I could. After about 10 trips of filling the car to the brim with supplies, I would start modifying my house. I'd board up the doors and place barbed wire at the top of the fences surrounding my house. I'd then move all supplies upstares, then destroy the stares. There would be no way for a zombie to get to me, as they can't climb (see zombie survival guide for source). I'd have a latter with me in case I needed to get down.

My weapons of choice would be a shotgun, a handgun, and a good rifle. I'd stock up on ammo also, and I'm talking about $5000+ in ammo for each gun. As for melee weapons, I'd premake a lot of moltav coctails, carry a mashetee, and a spade. Yes a mother fucking spade.

I'd then wait out the apocolypse with all my supplies owning any zombies that would breach the fence.











I'm NOT CRAZY!!!

 

Yea really, I think there should just be a stickied zombie apocolypse thread.

 

It's already been decided Wal-mart is where you go first they have everything you need including food, water, weapons, fortifications to block only one main entrance perhaps

 

1. Rally up the friends
2. Go loot a gun store
3. Grab a bunch of liquor
4. Raid the local dispensaries
5. Climb atop the Mirage
6. Smoke, drink, snipe zombies all day err day
7. Go to the buffet for some grub
8. Rinse repeat.

 

duct tape grenades all around my body and get me some brass knuckles and run into the biggest horde i can find and just punch until i explode.

were all gonna die if this happens, so i plan to have people talking about my death for as long as humanity persists instead of dying alone and cold in some failing resistance fort.

 

1. Look around my house, find no weapons or survival tools
2. Get naked
3. Become a zombie, because who really wants to live in a post-zombie world?
4. Be a naked fuckin zombie runnin around with my cock 'n balls flappin all over the place. Non-zombies would be too busy wondering if I was going to try and fuck them or eat them and hopefully forget to run away or shoot me in the face.
5. Die... again.


Also, all of you guys thinking that you'll get near any military base during a zombie apocalypse are insane. Those places would be locked down tighter and faster than Madagascar during flu season. As for gun stores / supermarkets / etc... everyone else is going there too, if the zombies don't kill you first some crazy redneck with a gun will kill you over a bottle of fuckin water. You want to survive this shit, keep your house stocked with everything you need to bunker down for a few months, and never open the door for any reason, otherwise you're fuckin dinner.

 

i already posted my fuckin plan on another thread, so if u saw it good for you it hasnt changed

 

Since I live in Holland the population doesn't consist of many firearm owners so I would have to resort to primarily melee weapons.
Here is a quick plan of what I would do:

1)Quickly get a spade or tree saw from the garage.

2) Secure house and property borders.
Firstly reinforcing any glass windows downstairs ad the front of the house with wood, possibly the back part of the house too but that is all fenced off from the outside anyway.

3) Create a safe room where I will be spending most of my time 2nd floor possibly, secure the room, reinforce doors, move food & water/Computer/clothes in there. This is where my HQ command post will be.

4) Set up blockades in the house, in case they got in I would be able to somehow block the stairs and stop or slow them down when they are in the house. Also place weapons all over the house for emergency situations.

5) Secure as much land as I can without alerting any zombies.

6) Lock the house down, get in the car and drive to the local hardware superstore (enter with caution only however if it full of zombies then I would go look for another one get the following materials:
-Plywood sheets
-Nails/hammers/nailguns
-Camping gear
-Bags of cement mix
-Wire
-Walkie talkies
-Jerry cans (Fill up with fuel)
-Electric generator (
-Anything that can be improvised as a weapon

7) Since there are some military barracks not to far away I would drive past there and see how things are, if everyone is still alive then I'll join them, if not I'll try to scavenge what I can in terms of firearms and supplies then probably hi-jack a transport truck or armored vehicle, if not I'll get an armored Touareg from the local police station

8) Go on a rampage! Clean the city up of as many zombies as possible and probably stop by the boozo's and coffeeshops for some differnt supplies.

9)Take a nap then have an ice-cream

10) Continue to rampage but maybe at the airport, in any case until I die or help comes

 

1. barricade my house
2. wait a week (I have enough food in my house to be chill for a week)
3. venture out into the world
4. look for guns, food, or other useful supplies (wouldn't spend too much time away from my house)
5. and finally, move to an island, make a shelter, and live out there

 

i'll be the zombie with the tank rolling through your house because ive read ten million posts on the internet about what all the regular meatbags intend to do. good luck finding another shelter or even reloading when your little fort comes crumbling down around you while zombies wait for their shot at you from every angle.

 

this is a very important question!

but i have a special zombie cloak so those fuckers aren't going to see me

 

I'd fill my backpack with anything in my apartment that could be used as a deadly weapon. Then I'd dress up like a zombie, sneak to the nearest gun shop and steal the most badass gun they have. After that I'd somehow build an underwater lair where I'd hide out until I starve to death.

Nevermind, that's a horrible plan. Fuck.

 

I'm going to pimp out my car with steel plates and chain tires & shit. Then I'm going to drive around, after rolling about 200 joints, and blast those motha fuckas into the asphalt.

 

Kill zombies.

 

are we talking about crazy zombies? like the ones on left 4 dead or i am legend... or slow stupid ones like in deadrising