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Worst lay you have ever had??

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by Stealthsmokerman, Feb 4, 2014.

  1. Well the title says it all. Let's see all the craziest things that ever happened while playing naked twister or the worst lay you have ever had lol I will start this off. Well it was a couple years ago and my gfs parents went on a vacation and asked us to keep a eye on the place? 72" led HDTV in the living room pool table in the basement and a pool outside who wouldn't?? LolBut anyway we got a little frisky while wrestling around and we some how managed to make it into her parents room. They have one of those all wooden bed frames it looked nice but shitty quality worst make ever.Well we got a little rough and we broke the bed frame they have had it for a while but I did what repairs I could do the wood was so weak basically screws and glue. But when they came home they wanted to spend a day with us and have us stay over in the spare bed room. We were upstairs watching a movie trying to drown out the sound of her mom and dad going at it " I guess their vaca gave them a spark" well out of nowhere you hear *CRASH!!!!* then " HOLY SHIT DAVE WE BROKE THE FUCKING BED!! WHY WERE YOU FUCKING ME SO HARD???..... *me* falling out of bed laughing. I go down to see if they are OK when I get to the bottom of the steps I hear squeaking and her dad saying *fuck it let's break the rest*.I honestly believe I am scarred from that day heard things I never wanted to hear. OK im done. NEXT!!!!???Why so serious????? He puts the bong to my mouth!! WHY SO SERIOUS???? LETS PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE!!! *bongin* (cough cough) :D
     
  2. Is her mom hot? I'll need that to form a proper mental image of said ikea bed breaking.
     
  3. [quote name="Hypoxic" post="19461957" timestamp="1391488722"]Is her mom hot? I'll need that to form a proper mental image of said ikea bed breaking.[/quote]In no way shape or form hot Why so serious????? He puts the bong to my mouth!! WHY SO SERIOUS???? LETS PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE!!! *bongin* (cough cough) :D
     
  4. Too bad lol
     
  5. Oh thats eazy .. the worstt lay .. some white bitch that acted black ... i jus wanted to see if she can fuck like a black bitch & she had no clue what she was doin ... i wuz like ... iz dis bitch fo real?
     
  6. My left hand when I broke my right collar bone like 7 years ago. I had never done it lefty before but couldn't go a month and a half without beating off.
     
  7. My ex had no clue how to have sex. She just laid there while I pretty much did everything. She also thought anything other than missionary was weird and wouldn't go on top lol it use to piss me off
     
  8. [quote name="pokeabewl" post="19462808" timestamp="1391502897"]My ex had no clue how to have sex. She just laid there while I pretty much did everything. She also thought anything other than missionary was weird and wouldn't go on top lol it use to piss me off[/quote]Dude that was how it was with my gf but I made sure cause I was like for real I'm not doing everything if u want some dick your going to be doing the work for a while lolWhy so serious????? He puts the bong to my mouth!! WHY SO SERIOUS???? LETS PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE!!! *bongin* (cough cough) :D
     
  9. haha that's what I should have done. I said something about it once and she tried but she didn't understand how to use her hips so she was literally just bouncin on top of me And after like a minute I said fuck this and took the power back lol
     
  10. I don't get lay enough to have a bad one.
     
  11. [quote name="pokeabewl" post="19467861" timestamp="1391576902"]haha that's what I should have done. I said something about it once and she tried but she didn't understand how to use her hips so she was literally just bouncin on top of me And after like a minute I said fuck this and took the power back lol[/quote]LMFAO I can feel your pain bouncing is OK for like 15 seconds lolWhy so serious????? He puts the bong to my mouth!! WHY SO SERIOUS???? LETS PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE!!! *bongin* (cough cough) :D
     
  12. [quote name="Airf0nz0" post="19467863" timestamp="1391576945"]I don't get lay enough to have a bad one.[/quote]Why man? Shit I get it every night Why so serious????? He puts the bong to my mouth!! WHY SO SERIOUS???? LETS PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE!!! *bongin* (cough cough) :D
     
  13. A mental illness i guess, i don't know.  I'm very compulsive and a loner.
     
  14. Shit, getting laid while her parents were knocking on the door to her room. I was over here sketching, of course its easier for her to say fuck it that she'll deal with her parents later.
     
    I'm the one that had to walk out 30 min later with her parents standing outside the door saying "Hi Brian" as I walked out, in the most awkward and hostile voice at the same time.
     
  15. [quote name="Airf0nz0" post="19467889" timestamp="1391577324"]A mental illness i guess, i don't know. I'm very compulsive and a loner.[/quote]I used to be that way afraid to have any eyes on me hell then I stopped giving a shit and now I always brighten up peoples days Why so serious????? He puts the bong to my mouth!! WHY SO SERIOUS???? LETS PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE!!! *bongin* (cough cough) :D
     
  16. Yea i started growing drugs so now I don't wan't eyes on me plus i don't want eyes on me.
     
  17. I know that feel
     
  18. [quote name="iDontSmokeBlunt" post="19467893" timestamp="1391577394"]Shit, getting laid while her parents were knocking on the door to her room. I was over here sketching, of course its easier for her to say fuck it that she'll deal with her parents later.I'm the one that had to walk out 30 min later with her parents standing outside the door saying "Hi Brian" as I walked out, in the most awkward and hostile voice at the same time.[/quote]I might have one that might top that OK we were at my house just me and my girl and u didn't lock my doors back then and I really wasn't expecting anyone but she was doing oral favors and her back was to the bed room door. I'm standing there stark naked, dick about to go down her throat then the door opens and her Mom walks in while saying are you guys busy? (´⊙ω⊙`)........... I will just wait in the living room. Yeah that was instant limp dickWhy so serious????? He puts the bong to my mouth!! WHY SO SERIOUS???? LETS PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE!!! *bongin* (cough cough) :D
     
  19. That fucking fatty I railed in the jacuzzi that one time jesus fuck what was I thinking? *shivers*
     
  20. [quote name="AS420" post="19467941" timestamp="1391578255"]That fucking fatty I railed in the jacuzzi that one time jesus fuck what was I thinking? *shivers*[/quote]Desperate times call for desperate measures... I remember when I almost fucked a fatty at party but I passed out. Thank you ever clear lolWhy so serious????? He puts the bong to my mouth!! WHY SO SERIOUS???? LETS PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE!!! *bongin* (cough cough) :D
     
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