So I have this question that has been on my mind for a looooong time and even more so because I have a boyfriend and I tell people that of whom I meet on-line. They try to say that it is ok to flirt and be suggestive on-line because it's not in real life. Is this ok? I certainly don't think so because in my book, it's still considered cheating but some people don't think so. What are your views? Ok or not ok? And explain your reasoning behind your answer.
Well flirting is not cheating. I don't encourage it though, and wouldn't approve of it in the relationship I'm in. But I mean real life or not they're talking to someone on the other end, who is real. I find that dumb that someone actually thinks that. Basically resembles the whole area code rule.
Ok well true. Flirting is one thing and usually harmless. It's human nature to flirt. But trying to talk sexually suggestive is something completely different...or sexually harassing someone with suggestive messages.
I doubt people really think of it as being acceptable; it's simply much easier to pull off than an actual affair. Some unexpressed dissatisfaction with a partner is probably the root of most of these online affairs.. yet I don't know; sometimes people do strange things without any particular reason besides at-the-moment satisfaction. I just wish people were more open about how they feel--myself included. Social expression is most often a twisted veil of formality, something which shouldn't exist between lovers. Yet interests die, and true personality, with all its creeping flaws, shows its ugly head. And everything that can go wrong is presented before you--you simply have to have faith in your love and your partner's. It's truly a finite balancing act. But sometimes it just works.
Yea I agree with you. It's pretty horrible though when you have to put up a facade for your lover and can't be openly honest with them. How do they expect a relationship to work then without honesty and trust? Though, I guess some people were never taught old school values and therefore make up twisted justifications in their head. I also understand that it's just genetically written into our species along with other species but the point of this is that having values and morals separates us from animals. But these days, I feel like with the advancement of technology, people are actually digressing to animals and getting stupider. But that's just me *shrugs*.
I feel like there are many different levels of cheating, and on-line relationships are certainly a sticky situation..in my opinion emotional infidelity is the worst..I mean think about it you can spill your guts to someone on-line and never have to worry about the physical aspects of a relationship..It's very easy for this to just grow and grow and eventually become a problem if you already have another (physical) relationship. I can't speak for anyone else but I know when I was a lot younger (early teens) I would frequently meet people online and get attached because it's just so easy to talk and connect emotionally when it's just online.
I think it's ok to MEET someone on-line and talk with them. But not about anything sexual if you are in a physical relationship. You can bond with someone by talking about something you have in common, like anime, or a favorite band. So long as they don't try to come onto you, meeting people on-line is alright. I just mean the talking dirty aspects of it. And if you spill your guts more to someone on-line than to your physical lover, then your physical relationship is a facade because you're not being completely honest with your lover. Again, it's pretty sad.
Yeah, flirting is ok, nothing beyond that, whether IRL or on a computer. By the way, when I say flirting is ok, what I really mean is that flirting sure as hell aint ok with me. If I find out my girl has been flirting with some random ass dude, there will be blood
you mean cyber sexing or whatever? if someone 'cheated' on my via cybersex i would laugh in thier face
Simple answer. Some people are just whores. Men and Women are no different. If theyre cheating, theres obviously something within the relationship thats missing for them. Same reason people cheat irl. Theres no real difference.
Yea but I find it hilarious that they try to justify it as "it's just the internet. It doesn't mean anything." When it does mean something and as you said, its because they are missing something in their physical relationships. But certain people think that cyber dirty talk is justifiable because they know they will never meet the person. Which in my book is still bad as going to hook up with someone random at a party or bar. I've seen even friends who were unhappy with their relationship and try to talk nasty to other friends on the web.
No how the hell is it cheating? Is he sleeping with her or sharing some kind of intimate secrets with her?
Ok how is talking to someone online cheating? Also what do you mean...do you mean going into cyber sex specific chats and doing some of that type of shit? That's cheating I guess, by this I mean it warrants the girl friend to say what the fucks up stop doing this let's talk, etc but not serious enough to break up over. If you mean talking dirty to Facebook or Myspace friends that they actually know, yea that is cheating since they know them in real life...again not serious enough to break up over unless they do it incessantly. But then if you mean just talking to a girl you randomly met through some forum I wouldn't worry.
Simple talking is fine about any subject...other than dirty talk. I think I said that in an earlier post. I actually have once debated with a dude that was like 30 (mind you, I'm 22 so I'm not some teen talking to older men) on-line who was trying to justify that people don't stay married forever (which is true in some aspects yes) BUT he was trying to justify that promiscuous sex wasn't a bad thing and he could still do it and be married...which I find inCREDibly disgusting. In other words he was trying to justify that it was OK to cheat on his wife with other people as if it was an everyday thing. I told him that he had issues. Another gentlemen tried to get me to cam with him and wanted me to put on a little show and I told him that it was cheating, even if it was on-line and he tried to justify it by saying that he just wanted to see what he could never have and that all relationships eventually came to an end. But both individuals tried to justify talking dirty or trying to cam on-line was OK. It just boggles my mind.
This was recently a huge debate between me and my girl. It is in fact a form of cheating. As voted by 100's on several different sites. It is a psychological detachment from your partner. You are sharing emotions with people you have not dedicated yourself to. No it is not physical but I promise you the damage and pain it can cause a relation ship is very real. It becomes an addiction and is not a good thing to do to the one you supposedly love. If you need to seek outside the relation ship for emotion to make yourself feel good then you either need to question your relation ship or talk and work on it..