When does enough become to much?

When Does Enough Become too Much?

\tWhen does enough become too much? How far can a person in power push around an inferior before they cannot be blamed for their actions? How far can an employer push their employee? How far can a teacher push their student? How far can a mother push their child? Today I would like to pose the latter question of “how far can a mother push their child?” And for that matter when does pushing become abuse? At what point does parenting become betrayal? Is a mother capable of abusing her power?
\tI was recently unfortunate enough to have my mother barrel down on me. She attacked and mentally abused me, or what I believe to be mental abuse. It all started on Saturday morning. I am a football player who was getting ready for my game. I was preparing to leave because report time was in a half hour. My mom came into my room unprovoked to complain to me how I was doing nothing for college and that I simply did not care about getting into a good school. She exclaimed that she was canceling the SAT tutor I had been seeing twice a week, because she believed I was putting no effort into preparing for them. She also told me that she would no longer be helping me get ready for college because I did not care and only wanted to go to county.
\tI am a senior and I do not have any problem with my county college. It is actually a very good college that many people go to, however I do not, nor have I ever wanted to go there because my dream has been to live at a dorm when I go to college so I can get the full experience. Her accusing me of wanting to go there could not be farther from the truth.
\tHer accusations upset me a lot. I went downstairs to eat breakfast and she continued to hammer me about this. She continued to make false accusations which made me very angry. Even though at this point she deserved some backtalk I kept my mouth shut to avoid conflict for the simple reason that my grandfather was staying with us for a few days so he could see me play football. He hates arguing so I stayed silent for his sake.
\tKeeping what I wanted to say inside me however proved to be the wrong move because as I thought about what she had said to me it only made me angry. As I left the house in my car I only got more upset. I stopped between my house and the school at my girlfriend’s house to try and get some support from her. I sent her a text message to see if she was busy and she was at the movies, far away from the school. I would have never had time to see her and make it to the school on time. At this point I was very upset. I began to drive faster and listen to loud music. I even cried a little. After approximately 2 hours I was able to put it behind me so I could try to get into the right mindset to play a football game.
\tGetting ready for my game seemed very different that day, but I tried my best. We drove about an hour to get to the other school on the bus and we got our killed. The score was forty to nothing. I would never harm anyone from anger or do damage to any property that was expensive or didn’t belong to me; however I have often been described as an angry person. My mom knows that and knows to stay clear of me and let my anger run its course when I am mad. Today however, I was already mad at her and losing just added fuel to my flame. I had almost an hour to stew in my anger and decided that at the very least I had to say something to her for what she did before that game which could have potentially thrown me off my game. I arrived at the school and after changing I walked to my car. While I was going to my car my dad, who lives 2 hours away called. Her was only able to stay for half the game and called to tell me that he wouldn’t take me and my girlfriend out for pizza like we usually do after my games. My mom knows this because I told her we do it every week.
\tSince we couldn’t get pizza I talked to my dad while parked for about a half hour, ignoring my girlfriends text messages because I was on the phone. When I hung up on him I noticed my battery was very low, but I ignored it. I drove to my girlfriend’s house which is less than a mile from the school. I parked my car about a block away and sent her a text message at exactly 6:25. I then proceeded to go to her house and go inside to get her. I decided I would get her and we could get pizza ourselves because her parents didn’t plan on her eating there and my mom shouldn’t have planned on me eating home. What happened in the next ten minutes will be remembered by me and her whole family forever.
\tI went upstairs after saying hello to my girlfriend’s mother because my girlfriend wasn’t ready yet. While upstairs my phone rings. I do not answer because I and my girlfriend are talking. Then her phone rings. It is my mother so I decide I will answer it. I click the button to answer the phone and at the same time my mom hangs up on her end. I decide I will call on the house phone because I am sure her cell phone must be busy calling me back. My grandfather picks up the phone. I talk to him for a minute then ask him to put my mom on the phone. As he tries to answer me my phone dies. As my phone is dying my girlfriend’s mother yells my name up the stairs telling me that my mom is on the phone and she is angry.
\tAccording to my girlfriend’s father, while I was on the phone calling the house my mom called their house phone. He had a short conversation with her even though he was in the basement on a long distance call to his mother. “Hello,” he answered.
“Hi. Is my son there?” asked my mother.
“I don’t think so,” answered her father. “Last I heard he was on the bus.” He was unaware I had come into the house because he was in the basement.
“Don’t lie to me!” exclaimed my mother. “I have been sitting in front of the house watching and my son’s car has been sitting out here for so long!” At this point I have only been at their house for approximately 6 minutes.
\tAfter being yelled at and accused of lying, my girlfriend’s father simply hangs up as he is not very fond of my mother who has accused my girlfriend’s parents of lying and sneaking around many times before. At this point I go downstairs and my girlfriend’s mother, who is also downstairs, is aware of the problems.
\tAt this point I am very frustrated because my mom should have no reason to be following me or even looking for me because I would usually be eating dinner with my dad at this time. I am outraged and so is my girlfriend’s mom.
\tWe both approach the front door together to see my mom standing in the doorway knocking. I exit the house and as I begin to try to talk to my mom, my girlfriend’s mom also leaves to try to stand up for herself. She has been told off too many times by my mother for anyone to expect her to take it. She is very angry that my mother has disrespected them and talked down to them as if they were her own children. I am also angry for the same fact. I am embarrassed that my own mother would do this to another person’s parents, especially my girlfriends.
\tAs my girlfriend’s mom begins to stand up for herself I become fed up with the garbage my mom has been dishing out. I decide that after taking the trash she has been given me for years I am finally going to stand up for myself. What I said to her remains an angry blur in my mind. All I can remember is telling her to F*ck off and throwing my car keys at her feet because she is demanding them back because the car is in her name. She leaves very angrily while my girlfriend’s mother and I step back inside. I check my phone and the time is exactly 6:40 when I sit down at her table with her family. A mere fifteen minutes since I originally arrived at their house.
\tI was stuck there with no car keys. Of course her parents would have given me a ride home but I did not want to go home. They graciously offered me some dinner which was small considering there were two unexpected house guests. We managed however and tried to figure out what the hell was wrong with my mother.
\tt should be remembered that this is not the only instance of Insanity to come out of my mother. It is however the only instance that I chose to stand up for myself. My mother has been doing this for years both openly and inside our home. The way she has acted over the years has caused me to resent her. I am very happy I am going to college soon because I would not be able to live with her any longer. My sister has moved to California to get away from her and only calls once a month and visits for a week during Christmas. I do not have the luxury of going so far away because my father does not have the money to finance it the way hers does. However, I do plan on getting as far away from her as I possibly can. I can only hope that my mother is comfortable in the bad she has made because after I move out she will be sleeping in it for many years to come.
\tAs a closing note I would like to ask “When does enough become too much?” At what point does a mother become an abuser? How much should a child be expected to take abuse before he is forgiven for lashing out?

-\tRegretful Son

Summary: You will never really understand it without reading the whole thing but summarized you could probably say that my mom is a controlling bitch who has no respect for me or my girlfriends parents and jumps to conclusions to much.