What got you your medical card?

I just wanted the card so bad that i knew i had to get cancer. How did i get cancer to get my med card you ask?

simple, really...

Just microwave your balls.

 

i wish i had one...

i'm really skinny, maybe i could tell them i'm anorexic

 

See, here is the beauty in my plan, you dant need to MAKE UP an illness, you can REALLY get one. All you have to do is put your balls in the microwave (shut the door or it wont turn on, dont worry, your ballskin is stretchy and shouldnt break).

Just hit the potato button, you should have cancer after one cycle, if you feel cancer free hit it again.

make sure its on full power. Defrost mode will only make you sterile, you need 100% to get the tumors.

Edit: in all seriousness though, dont abuse the system. Some people really need that medicine and the medical mj movement needs all tokers' support. It is an essential step towards legalization. We dont need the states that practice it to be overwhelmed with a flood of people abusing the system and getting medical buds illegitimately to be a stopping force in the movement.

 

Have had 3 concussions and a stroke since I was 15. Causeing constant head pressure (like a headache I'm used to) everyday. Migraines that last days and have to lay in bed for over an hour to fall asleep no matter what it sucks.

so far since I've had my script I've felt happy, clear minded, and have had great sleep!

 

I have bipolar disorder, fibromyalgia, ADHD, insomnia, anxiety, sleep apnea. Pick one and take it off my hands.

 

Planning to get my card in the next 6 months if all goes well.

I have sleeping problems and back pain but the main reason for getting a card is the problems I have with my feet.

I have spastic flat foot, double tarsal-calcaneus coalitions, and arthritus.

Basically my bones are malformed in my feet causing there to be a bony growth between the talus and calcaneus in my feet. The coalition on the right is barely noticable. On the left I have a lot of excruciating pain and very limited mobility to my foot. It hurts to stand for a long time, run, jump, walk long distances, or spend time in cold weather. Its caused me to have arthritus. I was born with essentially no muscle in the bottom of my feet. I have no arch and if I overdo any activity my muscles and joints especially in my left foot tend to clench and spasm, ouch. Lastly I walk with a limp and bad posture. My feet are weak and so they pronate, or bend in when I walk. This has put strain on my knees, hips, ankles, and especially my back.

I also have anxiety, similiar to OCD.

Luckily I'm in cali where getting a card is possible. I'm just trying to get money together so I can get a card. Hopefully in the next few months I'll be asking for advice on how to make it actually happen. If anyone has gotten their card in the 707, I'd love to know your process.


Right now I am completely budless... argh.

 

I literally shattered my knee joint. Had 1 surgery to have screws drilled into my bone to hold all the fragments back together and a 2nd surgery to repair all the ligaments. Was put on OxyContin and Percocet for pain. I traded that crap in for a mmj card and have been much happier since.

 

I have ADHD (inattentive) and Asperger's, although I only told the doctor ADHD and anxiety. Easy.

I agree, I don't think people should abuse the system. At the same time, I think there should be a safer alternative to alcohol and tobacco available to the public. So I'm undecided whether it's ethically correct or not.

Either way, you should have no problem getting one OP, living in California and all.

 

chronic neck and back pain

 

i have RIDICULOUS sleeplessness

days at a time (because of the security job i work while im at school , completely destroyed an semblance of a normal sleep pattern )

im not sure if itll get me a card in michigan but im going to try because weed really puts me to sleep

 

When I was 3, another child tried to murder me with a hammer. I was left with dents in my skull, scalp scars that still ache sometimes, and frequent migraines. By the time I was 5, my bedroom had black curtains. I missed a lot of school with "sick headaches".

At 19, I discovered that cannabis could prevent my migraines and I have been using it every since. I am now 63.


Granny

 

granny! i just found your website yesterday!!! its GREAT! the Infant mortality rate bombshell study was so interesting please keep it up, your doing great work! anyway i dont have a mmj card, i just drive to amsterdam (seeming as its only 4 hours away) =P

 

I could get a card in MI(Crohn's), but in all seriousness, if you don't NEED for a serious ailment, then don't abuse the system. I live in NC. There's no MMJ here, and I'm still lighting up.