Why is this so hard? If college is so important to you, then it should be worth a summer of sobriety. Weed is great, but you can't let it get in the way of what's important. BTW, what's your current GPA?
I'm a parent, so it's hard for me not to look at this from your parent's perspective. But of course, I also understand what it's like to be 18 and want to hang out and party with friends. Take my advise for what it's worth... You seem to be arguing really, really hard against "staying clean for the summer". OF COURSE your parents are going to think you have a drug problem. If staying clean for 3 months is really that big of a deal, and you're willing to risk your college education and your place to live over this, then well... maybe you should consider that they might have a point (I don't know you, or your situation, so that is in no way a judgment... just maybe something for you to think about). I know you feel like this is about control, and not about your drug use. And to an extent that is probably true. Probably to a large extent it's about control. I get that. But, don't fuck yourself and your future because you refuse to play their game. It's only temporary. They are the ones footing the bill for your life right now, and unfortunately that means they DO have some say over what you do. PROVE to them that drugs are not an issue in your life. You aren't going to do that by arguing with them about it. And if you leave just to spite them, you're only going to hurt yourself. Do what they want for three months, so you have the opportunity to leave it at the end of the summer. It's only three months.. it's NOT that long. You have the rest of your life to do whatever you want.
wow talk about being a spoiled brat Your dad sounds like the nicest guy in the world and you're just running him down because he loves and cares for you and wants to provide the best for you! Be thankful that you have parents who care about you and stop being so whiney - you have your whole life ahead of you to do what the fuck you like in your own place
Tell your father he is not doing anybody any favors by acting this way. You are not going to give up your lifestyle because this is your life, and you deserve to live it the way you want. And it's not like you are harming yourself or anybody with your lifestyle... you still do everything you need to do while enjoying yourself. He doesn't have the right to take that away, unless you were seriously impeding yourself. If not, if everything is fine, that is downright unfair and unproductive of him to do anything else.
I know what you guys are saying, I am giving up school for one summer of weed and all that. But honestly its a lot bigger than that. I can still go to another college, I have the money for community college... and a lot of things have changed lately. I feel like I was just pushed into a situation where I was honored with acceptance into this university and felt obligated to go there, because its a good school and the program was new, etc. etc. Now I have what will become my first full time job, I'm loving life here and don't know about moving 5 hours away and having them still control my life. Its been an 18 year power struggle, not so much with my dad but with my mom. And I know that the second I come home they will likely be drug testing me, or if any of my grades are not as perfect as high school they will be forcing me to go back to counseling there or stop paying (they will probably need to help me out the last year or two). I'm just saying, I know that them signing for the loan is NOT the end of it. The WILL expect more from me and I am downright sick of it. I'm not their innocent golden child anymore, and I KNOW i would not be happy going back and pretending.
Hahaaa HELL YES! Workin on that now Just applied actually, now to see about Pell Grants and all that good stuff.
Look it is very hard to get into a good school and get a good job in todays life, you need that schooling. Stop with the power struggle bullshit and step up to the plate. It is not a game it is your life, and your parents are trying to help you make it much better. You don't seem to realize how big it really is that you have parents willing to put you through school and help you. It seems like you want it all, but can't have it your way so you are upset. Take what you get and run with it. Sorry if I sound like a dickhead but seriously you have a great opportunity and you seem to be blowing it just to try and prove a point to your dad, time to grow up girl. just my .02 sorry if it sounded harsh.
Good points, from a rational point of view... but like I said, I would have no problem if this was the end of it. But in my lifetime experience, my parents are not always rational. I know that they will find more ways to control me later on, especially if they are the ones who made it possible for me to go to the more expensive school. For the record, I have already been clean 3 weeks, and the end of high school is June 17 so 3 more. I have no problem with that, its out of respect, I'm living with them (my grandma actually, but still family), etc... but I dont really see how my smoking or w/e while I'm paying a friend to live with her affects my "readiness for college", since I will be working all summer and my grades have never been bad. My GPA is in the mid 90s, for whoever asked. I'm in the top 10%.
Aww dont be sorry... Its not so bad, now that I'm finding the solution. If the more expensive college was really more important to me than the happy life I've finally found here now, I'd rather go to community college for 2 yrs instead of jumping at the chance to move 5 hrs away and go someplace I'm not even so sure about anymore. All this BS will make me a stronger person in the end, I hope.
He wasn't bribing you, he was extorting you. You want to leave (and he probably knows) and he won't cosign on a loan you need until you do what he requests. It's like a mix between extortion and giving you an ultimatum
Here's where you fucked up -- These conversations need to be had in person, not over the phone. My advice would be start there. And do not expect college to be anything like high school, regardless of where you go, it's VERY different. I had no problems in high school, mostly a's, and sometimes college kicks my ass. Good luck
It's all fine and good that you plan on paying them back yourself but he IS attaching his name, social security number, and credit score to the loan along with yours. Co-signers are there so that if you fuck up, there's still an ass for the credit agencies to ream. It's his money so he is more than entitled to tell you to stay clean for the summer. If it's really that important to you, you'll quit smoking for a little bit. Hopefully college is more important to you than weed. Quit bitching. I'm not saying your Dad doesn't sound like a dick-- he sounds kinda self-righteous and controlling and I'm glad I don't have to deal with that-- but you don't get to complain about or dictate the way he handles his finances. It's a big deal to co-sign on shit. If they recently caught you smoking, they probably don't trust you very much. That goes without saying that they also probably don't trust that you will pay the loan back fully or on time.