Okay, I'm 19, and just found out yesterday that my girl, who I've been crazy for for a little over 3 yrs, has been cheating on me for like 6 months. Of course I dropped the bitch, but now I really don't know what to do. I literally have not been able to find any energy to even get out of bed. So far Ive smoked like 5 bowls and I've rolled and broken back down like 15 zigzags. I been just blaring Mac Miller, and smoking. I kinda wanna go get a blunt and hit up someone to come have a lil duo sesh, but I only know like 3 girls who would be down, and even then Idk what to do once were stoned, I'm so sick of awkward silences. I'm just so used to having someone there, happy to come blow down and fuck, that it's really weird having to try, and i dont know what to do, where to start... It's weird I always thought I was good with situations like this, but ole girl got my head a lil throwed today I guess..
She was pretty depressed but it was more because I found out and, being extremely angry and hurt at the time, I did everything I could to make her feel bad about doing it, but that's about it. Just one of those typical bitches who cares nothing about others so long as she is benefitting. Shell get over it in the next day or so and then I get to sit here and watch her run around with her new plaything. Thank god I've got my hands on ounces.. I'm just not trying to be all down about it tho I wanna get back out there and show the world I didn't take that hard of a hit from this, I just don't know how to bounce back so easily..
Don't try to be a tough guy about it, its ok to be upset. but seriously, if she was such a bitch why were you together for 3 years?
It just takes time man. We all go through hard times and it just makes us better people when we pull through. If you want my personal advice start working out and take a t-break. Your mind will clear and you'll be focused enough to not stay thinking about shit. The buzz you get keeps you positive and you just feel better all round.
[quote name='"oldSCHOOL_toker"'] but seriously, if she was such a bitch why were you together for 3 years?[/quote] That's the thing though, she was amazing until recently. She started getting really distant, and I started suspecting something. As soon as I really looked into it I found out.. It's fucked up because so Many people I consider friends, those I love and care about, everyone knew, and I was here content and clueless.. And i don't know how to multiquote but as for taking a t-break, ive been thinking of it recently, but never seriously put any effort into it.. Idk even before I started smoking I was never really into working out and the like, I have a heart condition that severely limits my stamina, so I always look pretty ridiculous hitting the weights, as shown by my failed attempts to wrestle and play football in high school.. I know I'm gonna get through it, it's just odd how much of an effect its had on me, both physically and emotionally, and I'm just trying to soften the blow.
Man I had a same thing happen one time, I was crazy about this girl and she played me so well. She was fucking other guys and partying behind my back, the people I hung out with knew about it but they never brought it to my attention, they just kept it a secret until I found out. I broke up with her, was probably depressed for a good 6 months before I finally came to terms. I moved on and my standards went way up and now I'm with a girl who I can trust to not cheat on me. Things will get better, and you'll find a girl who's way hotter, way freakier, and way more mature and independent.
I like being alone.. You should try to prolong being alone for a while, allow yourself to clear your head. (That is unless you might harm yourself in the process) But dont just stay at home and blaze, go out and have some fun without pussy on your mind. Attached people have NO idea what they're missing out on. Go find an area with amazing scenery and LOVE YOURSELF. (not that way, perverts!)
I agree with this sentiment; a lot of the time people get into one relationship after another after another for years, and forget how to enjoy being by oneself. Try finding a new hobby, or rekindling an old one and take your mind off the ladies for a while. Of course if you are just looking for some physical action... there's ways of acquiring that without having to be in a relationship (if you catch my drift).
Sometimes it's good to think about it and ponder on it, not go right back out into the world and get with some other chicks. I think it's more mature to really think about what's happened (like you're doing) and don't try and be the tough guy..it's better to be aware that you've been hurt than to brush it off. I really, really don't understand how anyone can cheat and just act like it didn't happen and keep on a relationship. How can someone not even feel any remorse at all for what they've done? It's so obscene to me. But I'm really sorry for you, and I hope eventually once you've come to terms with it, you can find a girl who will treat you wonderfully, cause no one deserves to be cheated on.
The problem is you're trying. Stop trying, start enjoying yourself. I was in Orlando, surprise dumped by my boyfriend who I realize now was a loser with no job and no future. But he was my only friend in Orlando, I moved out there not knowing anyone and met him. When he left I was devistated. No friends, so I felt I would be alone forever and desperately tried to make friends and start dating again. My mother gave me the advice I'm giving you now. When you see a butterfly, don't try and catch it. Sit still and quiet and it may come to you. Once I was able to be okay with myself and being alone, friends started coming out of the wood works. One of them is my husband. We had known eachother for a long time as friends over a video game. One day out of the blue he started messaging me. I had just picked the game back up because I was finally okay being alone and wasn't striving to find people, so I picked it back up because it mad ME happy. So he starts messaging me, one thing led to another we are now happily married and have a son. When you go out searching, you will find yourself more depressed. Once you accept yourself and are okay just being you without needing someone friends and relationships will come. I forgot to mention when I lived in Texas my home I was in a relationship for 3 and a half years. We broke up mutually and I moved and met my ex in Florida. So 3 and a half years then 2 years with another person. I had NEVER been alone. I always had a boyfriend. so I understand its a very hard adjustment. But when you can be okay with yourself, you'll find more relationships and you can get more out of them as well. Two people together who are fine alone are better than two people who need someone else to feel whole. Because instead of needing the other person, you WANT them. And I would much rather my husband want me than need me to fill a hole in his heart.
Good advice SniperKitty, I know several friends of mine who have/are going through something similar, and when they are in the middle of it, they simply can't see the truth.
Good advice but didn't you post awhile back about some issues with your husband and his video game addiction and the hours of his sleep schedule/work and how he was not spending any time with your child?
Yeah, but he's gotten over that. He switched shifts so it leaves much more time for family and he spends a lot less time on the games. He's fallen out of WoW since Diablo 3 has come out. After the post we had a really long much needed talk. I don't think he was ready to give up life without a baby yet, but he's gotten much much better since we talked.
Well that's good and i honestly have no idea why i remember that haha, glad things are working out for the better.
You can't date someone for 3 years and expect to get over it in a day? It's human nature to be upset about it. When we break up with someone we are used to being around, it's not always that easy. I suggest you accept that you're hurt, and realize you deserve better. Try not to think about it as a waste of time, but as a lesson learned. Move forward, things can only get better. I'm sure sometime down the road you will meet someone else. As for now, just enjoy the open space, and do things to make you happy. Don't be afraid of taking chances with people.
Haha thanks, we just needed to talk. It was time to grow up, when you live by yourself for over 10 years and you're life changes over night with a new baby it's kind of hard to let go of your old habits. He underestimated the amount of work it is to have a baby lol.
Well thanks for the advice everyone. I'm just gonna hit the ground running from this one and live my life like I've always wanted to. It's going to be weird getting used to being alone, but from childhood experiences, I'm sure I'll get along fine. I play a lot of guitar, and she was definitely taking my focus from that so hopefully with all this time on my hands I can get good enough to be comfortable playing in public places. I need to start getting out there and meeting more people, having more memorable experiences, and hopefully things will get better soon.