what am i

Discussion in 'Religion, Beliefs and Spirituality' started by esseff, Apr 30, 2012.

  1. How to do what i need to do. Just do it. There's no how about it - you just do it and how takes care of itself.

    I have fear of letting go. we know.

    The life of the insane is not an easy path. Everything is in my head. My reality is just that, my reality. Bringing it into the world is the hrad thing. Making it real brings it into the world. I am making it real. Make it moe real. Hoe fast can i go, as fast as you feel you can, how fast is that, as fast as ti needs to be, does it matter, no, and yes.

    It doesn't matter as there is no time and nothing to do, but if I don't do this nothing and take all the time i need doing it, it never gets done. what never gets done? what i'm doing. what am i doing. evolving. what does that mean? becoming who i can be, who i'm capable of being. who is that? i can only experiuence it to find out. i cannot hold an idea about what it might be. too limiting. i cannot imagine who i am.why? see previous reason.

    Yet ifeel a need to tell you, show you, appear to you, as something that refelcet what this is. why? ego probably.

    For me, the ego has to surerender completely, and not knowing what that will be like, creates a certain fear. To work on that fear i must let it go slowly, bit by bit, until there's so little left that the presence starts to seep in, permeate my whole being, until i and the presence are one.

    i and the presence are one but i don;t feel it that way, but i feel it more and more and am looking to feel it as much as i can. surrender myself to all it is. but to do so, something must die. i must die, so that what i leave will do what i could not. all that matters are the effects i have on the world, how can i stop what would be so much better for those i love if i'm not in their way to interpret it for them. you have to do it yourself. that's the message - that's always been the message. jesus did it. and if he did it we can all do it because this says its possible. it cannot exist if we cannot think of it. that is why i'm here. to think of it.
     
  2. That was so weird. I experienced a moment of fear there and it translated into all that. I cried at one point as I felt myself letting go, as if what I was feeling was real. I let go of something just then. I let go of those ideas that have followed me around for so long. The ones Christianity has foisted on us. In order to experience christ consciousness, the idea of jesus and how he might've done it becomes a hindrance. I am not him, nor will i ever be him, and any resemblance i might have to some idea of him is purely coincidental.
     
  3. Eat, sleep, survive, reproduce, die. Repeat?
     
  4. I've felt this before. Feeling like I actually die. My physical reality always looks the same afterwards, but i feel like something has changed. I have changed, the world has changed, yet nothing has really changed. Everything just goes on and on. such an interesting journey.
     
  5. #5 D_420, Apr 30, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 30, 2012
    Deep

    Very, very deep..

    You have a good ability of expressing your inner feelings through written word, something I am terrible at..

    I am familiar with what it feels like to die and be reborn, over and over again. In a symbolical sense. It is different for each person I believe. It's a painful process. But all pain is rewarded in due time

    do you feel new?
     
  6. Deep.
    I really was on the same track as you with alot of your views and feelings and thoughts especially in the "who am I?/what am I? Beginning portion)

    Def sub'n to this thread and looking forward to it's discussions.
     
  7. #7 esseff, May 1, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: May 1, 2012
    We exist in a multitude of different realities, where all things that can be are. We do not change our external reality as we evolve and change ourselves, we literally change realities as our vibrational frequency automatically moves us into the one that best reflects our current state of being. Like an analogue TV can only tune into one channel at a time, we still know that every channel is there to be received. Reality is a most fluid and infinite play for us to experience.

    I have felt on several occasions that I have let go of my reality, literally died, and felt different as I carry on in the reality I'm now in. Physically, nothing has changed. But I have changed, and how i interact with this reality confirms that. Not only this, but the people i find in my reality are also different. They may look the same, but they are the version that resides in this particular frequency.

    Everything we experience is subjective, there is no objective reality; no 'out there'. There is a kind of template for which 'reality' works from, and there are certain things that are, if you like, accepted that must remain constant throughout: gravity, speed of light, etc. While I can imagine a reality where I can fly without assistance, at the merest hint of my intention, as I might in a lucid dream, I cannot manifest such a reality simply because I imagine it, as this conflicts with the basic template. In any case, it would require a shift in frequency of such magnitude that to even try to do so for such a reason would serve no purpose. I'm not saying it is impossible, for life is a most wonderous thing, but if it was something I desired to achieve, and there are many who seek such 'powers' in some form or another, then for me, this would simply be a pointless attempt to become something I will never be.
     

  8. It's just a question of practice really. Would you prefer to be better at it?


    Not so much new, as perhaps a bit lighter, less inclined to channel energy for the sake of it - less need to speak about certain things.
     
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