to run out of weed. Depression has been hitting me hard for the past few days. I feel like I can't take it. I almost blew up on several people at work today. I just almost tossed the cat across the room cause he was begging for attention. I haveeaten twice in 2 days, not for lack of opportunity but simply because I haven't cared enough to eat. I haven't eaten at all today and its 5:30 pm. All I've had today is cigs. I feel so incredibly horrible that I don't even wanna smoke weed, because I don't have much left, maybe a bowl and I also have no money to buy more. Todays payday... and yet I only have 45 cents to my fucking name. I owed the bank 150, at&t 100 and 250 for rent. that left me with fucking 50 cents to carry out my life. I hate this. I can't deal with this.... These are the feelings that had me taking handfuls of oxy with vodka a few years back. I just wanna get so fucked up I don't even know I exist. But since I can't I just wanna go jump off a bridge..........
I think weed would be one of the worst things to do now. Its more of a waste of weed. For me at least. I hate smoking weed when i feel down. Try an upper. Call some friends....just chill. Try to take your mind off of things that are bothering you.
i don't have uppers. I have mild otc painkillers (aspirin,ibuprofen) and 1 bowl of weed. If I could smoke like 6 blunts to the face I would right now. Friends? What friends..... For somereason.... I just can't keepfriends... people usually pumpmefor what they want and then leave me blowing in the wind..... I've got 3 friends aside frommy girl and all of them (including her) are at work. So I'm sitting at home alone in the dark wanting to kill myself. I haven't been this depressed in years. Stupid fucking bipolar fucking disorder. I am so not prepared to deal with this anymore.......
Thats ruff man i hate those times. Just remember things will get better and all killin yourself does is end everything. It's a permanent choice for a temporary problem. just relax and keep your head up. hang in ther man peace
Thats exactly what it is. A permanent choice for a permanent problem. hat is exactly what you dont want to do. Why dont you try going out side. And just maybe walking around for a while. Just getting out. Do anything to take your mind off of the current situation.
I know how you feel man, my life has been shitty lately, and believe me I've thought about killing myself many times. To sum it up all at once I: go robbed big time by a heroin dealer, was withdrawing from heroin, lost my girlfriend of 1.5 years but we were hooking up for 3 years, got in major fights with my parents, failed all of my courses this semester, and am now broke for the next month. That shit was driving me nuts, and I have a gun so I could just pull the trigger, but I didn't.. Just look at it for the long run, I mean its not worth killing your self over. Sometimes I get super depressed I've seemed to lose all my friends, and I just sit in my room and trip on dxm by myself, thats what my life has come down to, and although it drives me crazy on the inside and I really am sooo pissed off, I always keep telling myself it'll be better, he'll I have to wait a month to start work for the summer and I'll have a pound. I don't really know what else to say bro, I mean shits not worth killing yourself over, you just have to tell yourself that it will be better, and even if it never gets better theres no way you can prove it if you kill youself. I'm chillin with no bud, barely any money, and nothing to do and its driving me crazy, and although time ticks ever so slow I just keep hopin tommorows gonna be better, you should too. I'm just curious on what you planned on doing with those.
I went to Jack in the box to get some tacos. I'm trying to make myself eat them.. its not going well. I've eaten half of one and my stomach is rebelling. I'm not going to kill myself....I just want to. I won't do it. I don't even think I could if I tried without getting too violent with myself. I don't own a gun thank god. I tried to kill myself several times in high school with large amounts of prescription pills.... all I ever got was a head/stomach ache the next day. I remember taking a handful of oxys with a half a 5th of vodka once and still being able to function. And this was when I was like 16.... God has a plan for me that doesn't involve death anytime soon.... just lots of agonizing pain with no tangible source..... that makes me feel like I'm exploding fom the inside out. I'm not even making any fucking sense. Fuck this, I'm smoking a bowl.
Nothing. Thats just what I have. I'm not taking any pills that won't at least make me feel better while they're destroying my insides. And I would prolly need to take a thousand aspirin to hurt myself. Fuck that.
Hey man, hope ya feel better soon. Depression blows, and bipolar, unfortunately I know too much about it. It will get better, it's the waiting game that is tough. You're right, God does have a plan for you, we just don't get to see the whole picture. Seriously, eat. I understand that you don't feel even close to hungry, but it will release happy chemicals in your brain, in turn making you feel better. I'll smoke one for ya.
Believe me, I feel you on the depression and the no money. I'm supposed to take anti's but they fuck with me more than the depression so I just deal with it. Stress fuckin blows but it will get better, it has to. I've thought about just ending things but then I think about my family and friends and what they would do and how they would react. Then I get on my iTunes and...... <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WtwGyxzxBDg&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WtwGyxzxBDg&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object> I hope things get better for you, the little weed I have left will be smoked in your honor. Keep on keepin on.
Thanks guys. I feel better somewhat. I don't feel so completely fucked now... just floating between spurts of anger and hypomania.... it still sucks, just not as hard. Fuckin bipolar...
i would smoke you my bowl if i were close.no doubt. i had one of those days last week, and it ended with me ending my year long relationship with my girl.. but i feel better cuz of it. who knows maybe youll feel better tomorrow. gotta feel low, to know what feelin up feels like.
Man im not bothered to make a new thread but i had a fuckin sit day today too. Its 11: 40 A.M here and im already feeling like total shit. I got suspended from college today and my mom just gave up on me my dad has a depression and drinks like a fucking camel. I went up to my friends to smoke a J and missed an english lesson , got back into school and directly suspended me , this is a drop out college im at so its really my last opportunity to do something and im fucking it up, next thing i know i get a ring from my mom criyin sayin how shes given up on me and my dad was in hospital last night ....and i got no weed which tops it all of. So your not the only one going through rough times
if you think you got it bad somebody else got it worse life's like a soundwave man, every time it gets to the bottom it'll start headin right back up