So I made a post about how frustrated I have been all month with my girlfriend, and how much its upset me and how difficult it is to try and talk to her, she won't ever even say anything. Okay so we did not see each other all weekend - making small talk the whole time shes at home on her moms computer but no real conversation. remember she used to live with me, we dated for about a year. about 6 moths ago we broke up for a couple months - she absolutely just flipped one day saying she hates me and wouldn't talk to me the whole time. until one night she said lets meet to get high - and we went over to my house and sat on my bed and she kept saying lets get high but I said no no wait lets just talk and hangout, and somehow hugging her started rubbing her back and she loved it and then from massaging for hours we fucked, and then I said okay went picked a bag up got high, and then we cuddle naked falling asleep together...... and ever since then we been back together again. okay so we've been abck together for the past months - and all of this month has been so difficult - she emotionally treats me like crap and doesnt admit it - doesn't express her feelings to me. She just says she loves me and cares about me so much and so on and so on, does some really nice things for me, but whenever it comes to talking to her she wont. I could go on and on about so much but really I just feel like I'm treated like crap. I get really suspicious of her, and she acts really suspcious - and then whenever I try and talk to her I just get LEAVE ME ALONE and I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. which then makes me even more suspicous and hurt - and I tell her straight up how I feel every day. and like look I don't want to be played and trated like some stupid chump. i tell her this and that i'm not stupid and that shes going to have to talk to me and explain what's going on - and then she calls me demanding and clingy and shit. And well yes, I know I try way to hard, and I am very attached and 'clingy' ... but it's not like that until all of this crap comes up. So from her living with me, breaking up with me, getting back together, and then she has spent every day at my house except the odd days when she goes home to her parents..... But this month the has to go home every other day and stay for days. I appreaciate her. I respect her. and I let her know that - but I don't feel it in return .... but then every once in awhile she does these things to please me, and goes out of her waay to help me. she says she misses cuddling with me at night and that she wants to come hangout with me, comes over, we have fun and stuff but whenever it comes to talking - it becomes a fight - and she says I'm fighting and being an asshole and stuff - like I'm really not stupid and I jjust care way too mcuh. but okay so after all weekend shes says lastnight shes coming over - but first shes stopping by MY FRIENDS PLACE, that she wants to stop by to give him the $ we owe him. And for me to meet her on the way there- okay so I get on bus and say I'll mett you at tim hortons, she says back OKAY. but my phone dies. okay whatever she said she'd meet me there. So i get there, shes not there. my friends place is like a 4 minute walk away, but the apartment doors are all locked an no buzzer. hes on the top floor. So i walk there back and forth thinking maybe shes on the road. no. twice. no. wait over an hour. say fuck this and go home. I get home and i'm like that's real funny hey, and my phone gets a load of text messages saying "im going to his place just meet me there, where are you, what where teh hell are you, your making me worry, come one where are you" ... I mean I thought she probably just went there and decided to ditch me for him (like these suspicious things........ who knows my mind wanders.... like she cheating .... last post i sent everyone replied shes cheating. I say I know shes not) and I said to her, why the hell did you not just meet me where I said. and she says 'cause I sent you a message saying to meet at his houe, FOUR MINUTES AWAY. but I never acknolwedge her with a reply??? and I told her my phone was dead, and she says well I should be a lot fucking smarter than that and to go BORROW SOMOENES PHONE ON THE STREET. to text her. and she says it's all my fault and I'm stupid and wrong. ---- okay I know girls think, especailyl her that she always has to be right, and that I always have to be wrong. Anything I say, she says no I am wrong. Okay so I say to her, look, put everything aside, just think about being in my position, the last thing I knew is we agreed to meet at tim hortons. Would you not think I was there? What if we were meeting in another town, and we said meet at this place, and you changed the spot, but never got a reply from me. Wouldn't you check your spot, see i'm not there, and go to the original spot? I mean you say I should have some common smarts and figure it out myself - or borrow someones phone. No really can't you just even think that someone would go to the spot we said to meet. And she denies it - She says I am retarded. She say's I'm fucking stupid and wrong and that is not the way things work - that I should of figured it out myself since she was not there. I mean really. sorry for this rants this is long appreciate everyone that's read. Okay so she goes over to this guys house, and I ask her when shes going to come over, and she says in a couple hours shes hanging out there now. And i say okay come on you got to admit that is supsicious and really try and even think about how I feel - after the way things have been all month, that you ditch me, and go stay at this guys house for hours... And she's already so fucking mad at me 'cause I'm a stupid fucking dumbass chump that gets stood up and its MY fault. So eventually when she comes over, she wants me to walk to the bus stop and meet her. And immediately she starts yelling at me and calling me stupid and everything. SO i just like whatever and walk home, and go to bed. So she climbs into my bed naked, starts kissing and hugging me - no apoligy or anything..... So I say look I you know I love you... aand she says I hope you know I love you too, and goes down on me and fucks me and then cuddles with me and we fall asleep. --- I didn't even want to try discussing anything..... and no she was not cheating on me - i know when a girl is cheating --- I mean you can smell it feel it know it.... plus shed wouldnt wnat to fuck if she was. and she was texting me every 5 minutes anyway - and he had friends over and shit - and like yeah im always knowing what shes doing (okay yes I know its trying way to had and clingy, but shes so suspicious I feel I need to) so I wake up in the morning and shes in the other room. I go and sit beside her and try and put my arm around her and she pulls away- I'm like okay what is it now. and shes liek what? im like seriously i'm not stupid. and I try and again and she kind of does and I kiss her and she pulls away. So I said what are you still mad that you ditched me lastnight? (oops stupid me I worded it wrong) and she says no. turns the tv off and gets up. She says I'm going to go for a walk to use the phone and try and get a ride. I'm like what you're leaving you just got here and we haven;'t even hung out - I've missed you so much and been looking forward to hanging out with you and have so much stuff to do. and she says no you don't, and I'm like what do you mean how do you know. And shes like you don't have anything to do you never do all we do is sit around, and I'm like well atleast hangout with me for a bit, or like talk to me or something. And she just gets up and leaves the room - oh and its sooooo bad if i ever dont answer her, or even mistakenly dont say something or odnt hear here. So I say look come on just tell me what the hell is going on, did I make a mistake with that comment. SHes like no. Don't want to talk about it - ill tell you later. and I'm like okay come on do you ever put yourself in my position and think about how I feel. The way I've felt every day youre like this and say that. And How i've felt all month- and she says she does. ANd she says she thinks about it. So I ask her do you even care about me or even respect me? and she says yes..... and so I say okay sit down and tell me - if you really care about me can you at least tell me something so I'm not left feeling like this . And shes like what tell you waht tehres nothing to tell you. I ask her are you even listening to what I am saying do you understand what I've been telling you everyday? and sehs like uh what .... So I continued to try and get something out of her - yes I'm trying to hard and being annoying probably - but look at the position i am in... ANd she keeps going out of the room to go geet all her stuff and get dressed - and I'm like seriously tell me something and she like no I'm doing stuff. and she was like "okay you know what.. okay I'll just tell you..." im like okay, just say it, what is it... and shes like.... I don't know.... you know what no I don't know... And like I step infront of her and like tell her okay seriously you have to fucking talk to me now you never ever express anything all I get from you is what I see and how you act and just seems like you constantly push me away dont care and that you are very suspicious, like I don't even know if I can trust you. and she gets so mad at me. like for what expressing how I feel... And then shes just like okay well you fucking know what .... I do care about you and I really do love you but I've been trying to break up with you and dont know how to do it cause I dont want to upset you but I dont want to be with you. I'm not happy and I haven;'t been happy and we don't work, you are so annoying and attached to me. and i'm leaving now dont come with me.. I'll talk to you later I know shes not going to talk to me later, thats what she says every fucking day. she never talks to me. I know I'm not going to see her again she took all her stuff - and this happened before. well I followed her, and tried talking to her, but then just walked with her to the plaza. and then asked her okay well can we just hangout like friends for a bit, and she said okay, and decided to stay for a bit longer...... she gave me a hug and I said you know how much I love you you're my only friend and I don't want to loose you, and she hugged me and we kissed..... and shes like but we have to be broken up. I'm like well what can we hangout, and shes like maybe. i tell her look you are my only friend and want to be able to hangout with you and explain to her how much I care about her and she starts crying...... someone fucking called the cops and there like are you guys okay why are you crying ..... wtf anyway i left and kind of gave her a light push. and she said "what dont push me do you know anyone that likes to be pushed?' and i replyed..... you have been pushing me every day all month, do you know anyone that liks to be pusheD? and said your real fucking nice, and walked away.... okay so what we need to do is have a break - I've been telling her that all month - She knows it, Shes been planning all month to break up with me. That's why shes pushed me away so much, that's why shes made me so many promises and never follow through, that's why shes treated me like crap and not respect me. And that's why I'm wrong about everything but she can't even admit a tiny fault. well so she said shed talk to me later, and every time I try and talk to her now she ignnores me .. I just asked her if I could say something, she said okay, so I explained how I feel about us needing to take a break have our space, and that we both need to think about everything and then work things out together and we can both change, for the better, and in the end have a good relationship. she said "okay" ... i dont know what that means, so I said can we talk, seh said later, and I said well can you atleast have some respect and answer me about what I have just said..... and ... ignore me again im so fucking tired of being disrespected and treated like crap and thinking that she can just get away with it...... well this time she can't cause .... OH SHE BROKE UP WITH ME. fucking stupid so now she gets to feel good about it..... 'cause I'm not the one that broek up with her. I understand shes tired of me trying to talk to her, trying to get any kind of explanation from her, trying to know how she feels, and of me loving her so much, and trying so hard to care about her..... so yeah we should just make an agreement? I can admit my flaws - but..... she can't I just don't know a week ago (though shes been plannig this all month) she said she doesn't ever want to loose our relationship and be together for years and do so much and on and on and that she tells me how much she loves me and all this shit, at least right now she says she still wants to be friends - and maybe see eachtoehr. SHE SAYS> and she says she will talk to me about everything.... but she never did last time, and she said this lasttime, then the next day decided she hates me and never wants to see me. I don't know, sorry for the long rant. I've been so frustrated and felt like crap all fucking month I've gotta let this out 'cause she literally is my only friend and won't even listen to me. any advice? I mean I want her to agree with taking a break - I mean maybe we shouldn't agree but... I don't want her to think that she can just have me back after she goes and ----- well shes not like thinking about any other guy.
my advice to you is, do not talk to her for an extended period of time at the very least 3 weeks i would say 2 or 3 months would be the best though... you two really need some time apart to re-evaluate your relationship, and figure out if you guys really want to stay together.
[quote name='"ICGreen"']Ya, you really are smothering her.[/quote] Agreed! & that will just push her away more
I know I'm smothering her.... it's just really hard not to do when she does shit to me i mean if I explained what its like everyday
uhm yeah sorry for so long. i just wrote her a long email ...... yeah i am bad for writing really long stuff.... and I asked her if she would accept this 'break' and she says... she just wants to be 'friends' i siad okay well can we talk for a bit. she said okay. then I asked her okay tell me something now...... and she said leave me alone dont talk to me wtf
Honestly, it's like your really smothering her. You need to give her space, let her come to you. Show her you don't need her and she'll want you more for your independence. Right now it's like your a child that won't leave her alone and although she loves you, she is annoyed with how much you bother her. I'm like this sometimes with my boyfriend too, but not as much as this. I go to college and I'm stressed out a ton, and mostly it's just my anger at myself than it is at him, and i usually apologize. Maybe she does actually just want to break up with you. If you've been together for so long it's probably hard for her to just leave you. If I were you I would start removing myself from being so attached because it just sounds like she's hanging on until she finds someone that makes her forget about you. Btw: You can find someone who doesn't treat you like that much shit. Seriously? If I told my boyfriend to meet me somewhere and texted him somewhere else and he wasn't there, I'd look at the place I had originally set up. Although I would tease him about the phone thing, I'd be worried sick.
Yea, was long. But I understand where your coming from bro. There's this girl that I was so crazy about, like I would be with her every day seven days a week practically living together. Somewhere along the line everything went to shit. She would flirt with guys on the net and on the phone, she would then try to turn it on me by saying it was my fault or she didn't know why she did it, she would also accuse me of doing the samething as her. She was the first girl I actually had " love" for. So that's why it got hard and complicated. I would barely hang around with friends even guy friends cause she was so over protective. The best advice I can give you is develop friendships flirt with girls, see what comes out of it cause life is short and we only live once. You'll never meet the one if you always keep chasing the same one. Edit, Also what the blade above me said, let her come to you. Yea it hurts like a Bitch to miss her and all but its for the better. Trust me.
She's found someone else, I've had girls use the "Friends" Excuse, only to end up with another guy, and I've used the Excuse for girls. Just find someone else, this girl sounds like a bitch.
Dude, she doesn't really WANT to be with you. She is confused, and is dragging your feelings through the mud while she figures it out. But the fact is she clearly does not WANT to be with you enough to make it work. Sorry, but IMO you need to move on. She is not going to magically fall deeply in love with you and open up and start talking to you. She will continue to feel smothered and annoyed by you, until you give her enough space that she starts cheating.
This!!! If you want any chance of her ever coming back to you, you gotta give her some space man. Dont text or call her at all for awhile. Not even "goodnight." Give her space man if you ever hope to get back with her.
Dude, you're over thinking it. Drop the girl, get high. She'll come back if she wants to. You seriously have to man up, you can't analyze every move of someone, you have to ask, and she doesn't want to answer. It isn't working, say "fuck it" and move on. Life is short, we don't need to spend months trippin' over girls. There are plenty of vaginas out there, its all about finding the right one for you. Tell this bitch to come back (if, i guess) when she is willing to meet on your terms. But honestly, ya gotta suck it up and get over it. It seems unfeasible now, I know cause I've been there, move on and live man.
do you even realize how fucking wrong this girl is for you? honestly are you so desperate that youre even thinking of a future reconciliation with this broad? i have no respect for you man.
yeah you know I shouldn't be with her. just..... theres a lot more to it - i really fucking care about her, I mean even if it was just for me to be her friend...... i just don't fucking understand people. like why the hell does she randomly flip and decide she doesn't want to be with me..... she live with me - i wasn't smoethering her then..... i gave her her space, let her go home, let her have her time alone.. just don't fucking understand. she thinks I'm like retarded and fucked in the head and that I'm a ruined person and that all I'll do is bring her down but its opposite fucking saved her life , and I hope she doesn't fucking kill herself