Fellow blades i am really at a cross roads, i had a thread a few weeks ago about my Dad/legal issues and what not, long story short, thinking about moving back into my moms to help her out then this shit happens. A few weeks ago, i met this girl, we really hit it off, started hanging out and just talked for ever, she was even down to blaze and watch the stupid movies i enjoy, i thought she was the one, we start dating, we taking it nice and slow because we both been burned before, we talk about our past relationships and what not. I really was thinking we were getting serious, but still i wasn't trying to rush this, ruin something great again, so today i get a text message to call her right away. I don't know how to explain this shit, so if it dont make any sense my bad in advance. I call and she picks up almost instant, the convo is a little blurry but basically she fell for me fast, she didn't expect us to become what we have become. I thought she was breaking up with me, and over the phone ? back to high school i guess, but no, She says she thinks she loves me and that she sees a future with us, it caught me off guard, Then she said this word for word: " .. Like, we started dating soon after we met, and i think its the right thing, i really do, but i gotta let you know right now before this goes on any more. ( at this point i thought she was going to claim to be a man or something).. she continues " ..anymore ive been pregnant now for about 3 months".. I almost dropped the phone, see i wasn't tripping, i knew it wasn't mine, i never had sex with her yet, our relationship is pretty casual but we have something ya know. I asked her to come over and she does, we sat down on the couch and start talking, I asked if she had any idea who the father was and she said she only been with one guy and he was a total prick, she doesn't even want to see that man in court. I understood that, she continues she says i understand if you want to leave, you have no ties to me. I toll her i am not like that, i don't want to leave. But Honestly i was just being nice.. but this girl is something else, i don't know what i should do.. She just left a few minutes ago, room mate is gone, i need somebody to talk to. .. Its basically 60% stay 40% run. If i run, she raises this child by her self, (assuming) and growing up in a single parent house hold sucks, i wish my mom would at least have had somebody around. (earlier on) If i stay she says we can be a little weird family, which isn't a bad thing. Not like i would be struggling to make ends meet, i got a nice income, big enough apartment, and we still got like 6 months to get to know each other better. Basically any advice is welcome.
If you thin you love this girl, and you would treat the child like your own, then stay. If you don't like the idea of a kid then GTFO. And remember you're not tied in to anything if you choose to stay for now but decide against it later, it's not like its your kid.
Shit bro, thats a lot to take in... Is a shmashmorshin out of the question? If you really think you love her and you think she is the one then you should stick by her side. But if you don't think you can handle a kid and everything maybe tell her you just can't do it but you still want to be a part of her life... Hope this helps bro, GL
Yeah, right now we are just talking, trying to figure out what is going to happen, we got plans for tomorrow to go to Tim's and just sit and talk about whats going to happen, staying, leaving etc, I pretty much already made up my mind, but the only person who can get burned is me. If i stay and a few months later after i fallen for her and her son, she just tells me to GTFO then i would feel like shit, so i am going to bring that up tomorrow.
Understand that this isn't the "all-or-nothing" situation that you described it as. Date her, help her when she needs help, be there for her while dating, but don't go all in with a girl you just met, no matter what the circumstance. If you guys are still doing very well a year after the kid is born and her hormones have balanced out, then get married. Right now her brain chemistry is seeking support for the forthcoming child, whether that be on a subconcious level or not. She is extremely vulnerable right now and needs someone to hold her and tell her it will be ok. Lifelong decisions should not be made in such a state.
Do what you wanna do but overall its probably a bad idea. She may of not been telling you the truth you never know. Don't be a hero... How long have you known the girl and how old are the both of you? If your older maybe but if your in your 20's you should concentrate on yourself.
still talk to her n shit but bro thats alot of baggage for a girl you met a couple weeks ago..just sayin man cuz my cousin got in the same exact situation. was a DAMN struggle for him but they are still togethor soooo do what you gotta do
Well its not like the baby is due next week, we got a lot of time to let our relationship grow, i do think i love her even if its has only been a month, even before she said any thing. We enjoy each others pressence, We both just got out of bad relationships, trying hard to make this one work i guess. Still time to lay the verdict down, i let her know i want to continue to date and down the road we decide what is going to happen, ill update and such tomorrow thanks for the advice.
she been blazing with child??? run, run, run to the nearest flight of stairs and PUSH, the kid is gonna have horns and 3 fingers and one foot forwards and one backwards and its gonna be mean and always say "you aren't my real dad so shut the fuck up you fat fuck and give me $10 so I can get a dime bag and go to the skate park and oh yea start closing the door when you rail my mom cause I get sick when I hear both of yous humpin", just jk, you got a tough decision to make, good luck.
that's a tough situation bro. seems like you've got it mapped out the right way though. your main focus now should be getting that pregnant pussy lol
Dude, listen to what you're saying! "If I run, she raises this child by her self, (assuming) and growing up in a single parent house hold sucks, i wish my mom would at least have had somebody around. (earlier on)" How is that any of your responsibility? SHE knew what she was doing when she got herself pregnant. You cant stay with the girl just because you are worried that she will be a single parent. We're talking about a VERY SERIOUS life decision you are making here. Can I ask how old you are? You've known her for a very short while, you dont know if you will be able to live with her for the rest of your life. Sure you two are probably infatuated with each other right now but as time goes by people change. YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN HER FOR A FEW WEEKS FOR CHRISTS SAKE! What if you're with her for a few years and realize she's not the one? What are you gonna do then when her kid starts calling you "Daddy"? Are you gonna walk out on them? If not, are you going to force yourself to stay with her for the sake of her child and live a miserable life? I'm going to GENERALIZE here for a minute so ladies please dont bust my balls for this... but most (not all) but MOST single mothers tend to be clingy like how you described her to be because they are almost desparate to find a daddy for their baby. If she got pregnant by some prick she doesnt even like, she had the chance to get an abortion. Dont get yourself caught up in other people's mistakes. Think about what I'm telling you man and remember, you've only known her for a few weeks and you dont know what it's going to be like living with this girl for the rest of your life and being a father to her child. P.S. Like someone else said before, She smoked weed with you while pregnant... What kind of mother is that? I know this sounds harsh and I dont mean to be heartless but DONT DO IT! I REPEAT, DONT DO IT!
It is nearly impossible to raise a child that isn't yours, even if you love it so much. So many psychological issues follow it, and if thing ever get tough their is no unremovable tie between you and the child, making it much easier for you to say "Fuck it!". So many children don't realize how amazing step-parents are, providing entirely for a child that isn't theirs. If she is planning on keeping it, then you need to seriously consider if that is what you want your entire life to be; because leaving her after the baby is born is going to be much worse. I would keep seeing her for a bit longer, and see if you are sure you want to spend your life like this. If not, keep her close as a very good friend and be supportive.
were you two dating at the time she got pregnant? if not idk, its not YOUR kid, so its not YOUR responsibility, thats how i put it, but i dont know, stick around for a bit, if it doesnt work out, it doesnt work out, if it does, then you will have a gf with a kid.
damn u havent even smashed her yet and your already thinking about committing your life to this girl? she couldnt have expected u to really say yes telling you all this so early RUN!!! run, run, run while u still can!!!!!
No thank you. Once a whore, always a whore. She fucked another guy while you two where in a relationship. If she hates the guy so much get an abortion.