Ok so I was with this girl for 3 years we had met here in my hometown of Fort Worth. We knew we were in love very early on and we were always in touch through text on the phone or something and I was never really close with my parents cause I'm adopted and things like that, so she was all I had to talk to. Time passed and things were going good but then shit happened and she had to move out of the house she was in and back home to her parents in east Texas, 130 something miles away. So we were forced to go into a long distance relationship and it broke my heart not being able to see her when I wanted to, I had to take a 7 hour greyhound bus because I was only 16 and no car or license. Again time went on and things were tough, our relationship was strained and things like that. After about my 3rd semester in college I was kicked out of my parents' house and was told they wouldn't pay for my college. The reason I got kicked out is because of my drug us, basically I was out back having a toke and my dad came home early and you guess the rest. And by the way he is a 25 year retired law man… But back to the real story, I was basically living off my good friend until I scrounged up enough money to get a bus ticket out to east Texas to live with my girl at her parents house. When I moved in everything was awesome I was with my girl and we were happy. I landed a job finally at Dominoes being a driver and I made decent money just starting out with tips and all. Being ignorant and loving the job I blew all my money on nice things for her and date night and things like that, we were happy and having the times of our lives, or so I thought. I came home from work late one night and she said she wanted to talk, she said she wasn't happy and thought I should move out. We talked for a good 3 or 4 hours. The end outcome was that I was going to go back home and visit my family and friends for a few days while we talk and work things out the next morning. So I was very upset and heartbroken about what she said but I left in the morning to give her her space and figured we would work through this problem just like all the rest. The night after I got there that morning she gave me a call and told me we were over and I have to move out and come get my things. I was heartbroken and so confused, how could she do this, was there someone else, what did I do wrong?! And to make it all worse I just heard she is with someone just 3 weeks after she dropped me. I'm just lost confused lonely and worst of all jobless again, sorry it was long just needed to vent.
Fuck dude. Life is rough as shit. I hope the best for you man just don't let it grab ya. Better girls out there, trust me. It's like a ladder dude.
Paragraph bomb! Relax bro, breath and take a . Put on some chill muzak and listen to the shaman: First, the logical approach. You're what, 19? You dated for 3 years? That's about 16% of your life...so far. Average life expectancy for men is about 75. That'll put you at 4%. It only SEEMS like a waste of time because you haven't had that much time on the planet. In that 3 years you have grown and changed as a person. You've learned things that at 16 you had no idea about. Now, the esoteric approach. The aboriginal Australians have only two concepts of time: Dream Time (the world before our world) and now. There is no past, no future, only the present and the time of the gods. Consider this for a moment - time as you know it, does not exist. The concept of yesterday and tomorrow are constructs of the human mind. Can you die tomorrow? No, you can only die today (tomorrow turns into today). Further still, can the past be changed or affected in any way? No. It has already happened and cannot be undone. So why worry about it? The only way to change the past is by changing your concept of it in the present. I'll repeat: The only way to change the past is by changing your concept of it in the present. You think that you've wasted 3 years. If the past and the future do not exist, then you haven't wasted anything because it's now and will always be now. You've grown as a human being and gained vast amounts of knowledge (whether you think you did or not). Would things be better if you were still together? Maybe, but you also would not be you, the you you are today. By changing your perspective on what has happened you'll be liberated from the pain of it. This is hard, it truly is. The pain of heartbreak should not be wished upon anyone. But you have been gifted the knowledge to know how sweet love is for it's not until we lose something until we understand its significance. The Buddhists have a saying: Be thankful for all you learned today. If you did not learn a lot, be thankful you learned little If you did not learn little, be thankful you were not sick, If you were sick, be thankful for the moment. I don't want to take away your pain, bro. But I've been through tough relationships though never with a hard home life. I can't begin to image how hard it is for you. All I wish to pass on is some knowledge that might help ease the sting. Take care, brotha.
all i can say is you're not alone man. i dont know about you but that always makes me feel at least a tiny bit better knowing im not the only one on this planet who's had their heart unfairly shattered. barefoottoker said some real shit though, read that and really take it on board because it's wise and completely true. time is an illusion, not a physical thing, therefore cannot be wasted. it just "is", there is no good or bad use of time. just keep yourself distracted and busy, that really is the only way to get over something like this. there's no magic cure for heartbreak unfortunately, i wish as much as you do that there was how you come out of this is truly 100% up to you. you can become a better, stronger person or let it bring you down. your call man, best of luck either way im going back to my booze and bud man, peace out. you're not hurting alone mate <3
Very good advice from others. I know how you feel though man, you're not alone. I am in the process of having my heart broken and sometimes it feels like there's nothing else to live for besides that one person, but trust me man there is soo much more to life than a broad. I swear girls just like to break our hearts, I'll never truly understand them. Stay strong though brother, it's just one bump in the road and you will find the right person.
dude, barefoot, that was one of the greatest posts i've ever read on GC. im in a similar boat with this guy, 2 years but not a long distance relationship, and i loved that entire post. +rep up the ass for that shit
Im very sorry to hear that sir. Dont worry you will bounce back. Dont think of this as 3 years wasted, but 3 years of experiance you can learn from.
It's the hardest thing to remember in the moment, isn't it? I'm just thinking about my own relationships that ended abruptly and at the time, I thought it was the end of the world. Now, it's just a memory, a fleeting moment in time. I know we don't know each other personally, but Nirvana, my heart goes out to you bro. Women don't seem to understand that depth of our feelings, that years of suppression by way of the collective consciousness has made it difficult to express anything at all. I've got a lot of respect for you bro. PS There's a great podcast that I listen to to help me through the tough times. It's called A QUIET MIND by Robert Jackson. Real heavy shit. It'll blow your mind, or maybe not, I can only speak for myself. PSS Thanks for the rep+ everybody.
I hate to say it, but that's not what love is. You weren't in love, you were in lust & infatuation. I didn't get any further then that because your paragraph of doom gave me a seizure.
Yup. Doesn't sound like a waste to me. All good things must come to an end, as they say. It really is rough, but it could've been worse.
I'm not licensed to give any life advice but I can give some love advice. I've been fucked over by 2 girls in a row. It's a part of life. This last one I thought would one day be my wife. It's usually only afterward you find out what a b**** they were. Heartache sucks for sure, but hang out with your friends. Get out of your house. Find things to do. Go to trivia on weeknights.Try and find a job. Sitting at home alone is the worst thing you could do. Advice from experience in my life: Every time I've gotten out of a relationship, I've kinda taken up the idea that if a relationship is meant to happen, the circumstances will allow themselves to take place. Basically, what I'm saying is that I wouldn't worry about trying to find a girlfriend, and when I wasn't expecting it I would meet someone. It's happened every time. In fact, my ex and I broke up in March, and in May I got a message on facebook from a girl I had gone to elementary school with (and had always secretly crushed on.) We met up and things went well...we'll see where it goes. Before you get in your next relationship, make sure you're on good footing.
It's so cathartic to get that stuff down on paper...er...on some sort of writing device. Really does seem to cleanse the mind.