There's this girl that I met that works in the same shopping center that I do. I be-friended her on facebook and one night we were chatting (I initiated the conversation). As we got to talking, she told me about how she was going to New York for the weekend. I said something along the lines of have fun but she said that we could still text each other. After exchanging numbers and chatting for a little bit more, we each logged off. She left for NY that weekend and I didn't text her for awhile. I went to this concert at night and texted her about rocking out in the rain. I didn't expect her to answer back because either she was still on the plane or maybe unpacking or perhaps she didnt want to answer back. At about 11pm that night, she responds back. This initiated a 24 hour text-a-thon. When she was getting ready to go to sleep the next night, she texted that she was going shopping with her mom the next day. I decided not to text her at all that day and not interrupt her shopping experience...whatever She gets back on Sunday and neither of us text each other for a few days. One day after driving home from working out, I decided, "fuck it, I'd like to talk to her, I should text her." I did and we had another texting sessions that lasted a few days. At the end, she simply did not respond to one of my texts but I let it go. It's been several weeks now and neither of us have texted each other. I've seen her maybe once briefly (same shopping complex) but I was in a hurry to go to sleep. Fast forward to Friday night and I'm walking out of my job. Her and her friends are sitting on the curb and she calls me over. We all converse for a little bit (they had just seen a movie) but eventually I rejoin the rest of my coworkers. Once again, neither of us have texted each other. I'm slightly puzzled because at first it seemed like she was showing interest by asking for my number. Then again, I would have asked for it on some later date, preferably in person when I felt comfortable enough that we had reached that stage. My question is: why does she not ever text me? I'm not concerned about her not liking me or not having time to text me but it seems pointless to want someone's number and then not show any interest in texting them back. If she simply has no time to text me, I understand. Or is she simply waiting for me to text her? Blades, I'm not quite sure what to do. Usually in these situations, I don't do anything which is often the wrong thing to do. One thing I can do is converse with her in person next time I see her on a break. I'm simply curious as to what mental process is happening right now. I'm probably just crazy...yep. ******UPDATE****** well, things have taken an interesting turn. I texted her a few nights ago asking how she was. She replied that she was awful and that she couldnt talk right now. Fair enough. I texted her the next day hoping her day was better and that if she wanted to talk i was here. I effectively put the ball in her court. She replied back, "Thanks" I saw her that night (had no idea she was working) and walked in to say hello. I asked her how things were going and we had about a 2 minute conversation before I felt really uncomfortable and just left. Now I know most of you will read this and tell me to man up or be more confident. Here's the thing: when I saw her as I was approaching the store, I was psyching myself into this whole "Be a Man" phase of mind. I walked through those doors confident and holding my head high. I expressed general concern with sincerity of resolve. However, she kept shifting from side to side, looking away (past me, but not at anything/anyone in particular essentially not wanting to hold eye contact), not directly contributing back to the conversation. I started feeling uncomfortable, like I was talking to her through a screen door, just really fucking awkward. I got fed up with her attitude so I left. Maybe she's shy and got intimidated. But, I did tell her that if she needed to talk to me, she could. I closed down my store tonight and was walking with another co-worker to our cars and passed by her store and she was inside. I waved to a guy I know inside and then kept on walking. She didn't see me and I didn't look back to check. I'm not trying to snub her, moreso give her her space. If she wants to come to me she can but I'm not going to push for total contribution to anything that could come out between us therefore I'm stepping back and I'm letting it all go.
Your just thinking too hard, this is the fault of many people, including myself, atleast at one time. Just be casual about it, if you worry about it too much your going to scare her off. If anything, i think shes probably waiting for you to converse with her, FOR A WHILE, rather than just texting or facebooking, because those are just lame. Remember, you guys are FRIENDS until...Well, until you know your not. Always keep that in mind, and don't think too hard about it. Start going to the bars and shit and start becoming a player. This way, you always have 6-7 girls on the go, and don't really pay much attention to anyone of them, and as much as girls say they hate this, we all know they fucking love it.
I recently convinced myself that if she doesn't care to show interest, then I should move on and not care. Is this the wrong attitude?
Go and watch the movie fight club right now. After that, every fucking thought you have should be something like this "Im fucking awsome". If you think she wants nothing to do with you, you've already lost the game. The power of positive thinking is fucking incredible. Remember, just look in the mirror and say "Im fucking awsome", and eventually, overtime, you will be fucking awsome. Girls don't like guys who just try and date them and shit, girls like guys who are independant and overall just themselves. Dont try and be somebody else, just be yourself, because thats fucking awsome.
The whole problem is that I don't even know who I am. More so, I'm not sure what's happened to me but everything feels strange. Existence itself is a strange concept and I have definitely noticed a change in reality and perception over the last 8 months. I really don't feel emotions anymore, just frustration at myself over petty things or insecurity. I simply feel like I'm just existing, even though I go to Church, work out on a regular basis, pay attention in class and make good grades, play guitar for fun, chill with friends, maintain a job, level up in Mafia wars on facebook, cook dinner for myself and sometimes my family for a Family Dinner Night...it all feels like I'm experiencing everything through a mesh screen, not quite the whole experience but just enough to keep your heart beating. It's actually kind of scary and I've been debating whether or not to seek the advice of a therapist.
Meh, like i said, i used to be like that. I go on nature walks alone alot and stuff, and have built up my confidence to the point where i dont need my wall up anymore. Go out and do stuff by yourself, with nobody else. People think it's strange, but its a thing nobody does, and is very benefical to being yourself, atleast in my opinion.
Ask her if she wants to go out for a drink sometime (assuming y'all are both 21). Jonathan's is a really cool place, that's where I always went and had a few drinks at. It'll give y'all a chance to get to know each other better, and not do it by texting all the time. If you feel a connection, ask her to go out again sometime. Good luck Peppie, I know you can do it.
Dude you should prolly work on yourself before trying to make a relationship with someone, looks like you are carrying a lot of baggage! Get your life in order, find your inner you, then work on trying to figure out women!
i think seeing a therapist will help you. i'm no doctor, but i think what you are experiencing is depersonalization or derealization. and don't get hung up on this girl. If she still interests you, Ask if you can get to know her better, not at work or through a phone or computer. good luck Peppie. cheers
Dont see a therapist, jeez, i went through the same thing man, you just gotta start getting that confidence level up.
This dude is giving good advice, not just for the OP but for anyone that took the time to read it and can relate. I had a gf for 5 years, I gave up too much shit and it failed miserably. Have had low self confidence for a while but I just graduated college, got a good well paying job in this shitty economy and am about to move to a new area where I know no one. That may be scary to some... but I'm fucking relishing it. I can't wait to just hit up the college bars (right by the University of Maryland) ater looking in the mirror and saying "you're fucking awesome". It will be great to gain and use that self confidence you speak of and have the opportunity to build myself a new social network with the confidence I should of had a long time ago. ANyway OP. Girls like it when you text them first. If she responds every time you text and you chat why would you assume she's not interested? She doesn't want to take initiative, which is a good thing. Means shes not too clingy and not overly interested too soon but likes chatting with you. Text her occasionally and tell her you enjoy talking (or something less gay, you'll know how to word it) and set up a date. Go out and enjoy yourself.
Nothing important has ever been written by thumbs. Goddamn, just talk to the girl. Edit: OH! Another one of these. May I please direct you to a reply I made to a similar post? Here. Some of it might not pertain to you, but I imagine that a good bit of it does.
It could very well be that she thinks you're not interested. Instead of all this texting, why not just give her a call? I wouldn't over-think this too much, you'll just give yourself a headache, I say just call her and ask her to hang out, see what happens.
And while you're at it...ask her out on a date. Is it really that hard? I mean, after all, who gives a fuck.