There is only one way. 1st you must grow a 3inch beard, no more no less 2nd you must stand in a rusty barrel filled with frog piss at midnight on a full moon in the middle of a field with exactly 47 cow pies. 3rd you must hum the theme to Hawaii 5-0 26 times 4th you then hold an umbrella above your head spinning inside the barrel slowly while hopping on one foot. 5th then you sacrifice a grasshopper to the Username gods, while repeating your desired username 69 times. Its that simple. Good luck!
Your in the wrong section man. Contact RMJL. However it's not something which is done a lot of the time.