Uh, how to date?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Foxmore, Jun 20, 2013.

  1. This is going to sound really stupid, but I have no idea how to date. I am a 25 year old woman. 
    I have only been with one person. He was my best friend and our "dating" was so wishy washy that I never knew when we were dating and when we were just friends. That was over 2 years ago.
    I thought my problem was that I wasn't being honest enough and keeping my feelings inside. So when I went seeking relationships (and sometimes just sex) I would be very honest about it. All I was met with was rejection. 
    I know I'm not gorgeous. I'm over weight and quiet, but I know a lot of people that are bigger and uglier on the inside and out than I am and have no problem with dating and relationships. 
    I guess I would just like to ask what I am doing wrong, or what is wrong with me that I can fix (already working on the weight thing. I've lost 21lbs this year already)?

  2. Everyone is so fake that no one knows how to deal with honesty. It's not normal so it's rejected.
  3. I think you are wonderful and I would take you out on a date.
  4. Join PLentyoffish. Its a free dating site. Ive never met anyone on there. But people are straight forward on there. So you will find what you are looking for.

    When you are dating IRL you shouldnt be so blunt. If you tell guys you want a relAtionship they run. If you tell them you want sex they will smash and then run.

    Just flirt with guys. But always let them make the first move. And once you know they like you (theyve taken you out) dont be super needy. Or super available. Date a few guys. See who you like. Play hard to get. Only see a dude you just met twice a week max. Dont talk on the phone. And keep texting to a minimum. If you do it right someone should be proffessing there love for you before the summer is over.

    Also get a makeover. Idk what you look like. But if a girl is dressed nice it does wonders for her appearance.
  5. uhm weight def doesnt matter. you'll find that one guy just keep doing you. and dont you go out lookin for guys. let them come to you babygirl. 
    and show us a pic because i doubt you're bad lookin 
  6. Keep doing you and focus on your own goals and achievements. Do things for yourself, not for a boy. In my experience (although I've never really been in a real relationship either), guys tend to like girls that seem sure and confident about themselves. For me, the most important thing is to remember that you, yourself, should be the source of your own happiness. A significant other should only enhance that happiness. This sounds cliche, but seriously, just be yourself! There is someone out there for you, I'm sure.
  7. Weight definetly matters. I have gone out with girls who were chubby. But im black & im 6'5 so everyones small to me. But all of my white/asian friends have zero tolerance for overweight women. Zero tolerance. Like it makes them mad just to.see an overweight girl lol.

    So if you want a fit guy you need to be a fit girl. If you dont care about body image then chances are neither will your boyfriend.

    Fit people date fit people for the most part. So if you want a fit dude get fit
  8. What is considered to be "overweight" these days anyway?
  9. Bigger than a size zero....
    Well damn.
  11. In my opinion a girl is fat if her stomach sticks out further then her boobs.

    i think most girl are probably considered overweight scientifically speaking. But girls are supposed to have more fat then guys. And girls tend to carry there fat much better.
  12. #12 inb4bud, Jun 21, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 21, 2013
    Heres your problem.
    You care too much about other people.
    Generally people who cant get in the game use excuses like "they are ugly on the inside, but i am beautiful on the inside" (im not saying thats you, its just an example).
    But, the truth is. A fit guy wont go for an overweight girl. And a fit girl wont go for an overweight guy.
    Im sorry but thats what the 21st century has come to. Survival of the fittest. Natural selection.
    Tip: Eat healthier food, exercise.
    Dont say you do, because you dont.
    I used to be overweight, and when people told me to eat healthier foods and exercise, i couldnt be bothered and just said i did, but until i did there was no difference.(this can vary depending on your metabolism)
    I went from not getting girls to look at me to getting laid every over week.
  13. lmao. Umad? Umad.

    I never said i was speaking for all men. But the majority of men who take the time out of there day to go to the gym and eat right dont date fat girls. If i care so much about my body image that i run 5 miles every morning why would i date a women who drinks soda like water? I wouldnt.

    You rarely see a fit guy with a fat girl. Skinny guys yes. But gym rats? No.
  14. Umm.. I never said I wanted a fit guy. lol.  Hell, I like a chubby man. Super fit is actually a turn off for me. 
    I know I should keep doing me, or whatever, but obviously that isn't working. I don't need a man to be happy (I would be one sad individual if I did. Since I never have a man), but it's hard seeing everyone around you have boyfriends, get married, all that jazz and I have yet to have someone even willing to hold my hand in public. 
    And guys never make a move on me. Ever. 
    And in4bud obviously I have been heating healthy and excising because I have lost 21lbs. 
  15. Don't worry about the pissing contest above. Anyway, you just gotta take risks. Don't give up. Love is worth all of the heartache that leads up to it.
    Hmmm, do you go out and party and stuff? Maybe you're just not giving guys the right opportunity to make a move on you. On the other hand, a lot of the time guys can be just as insecure as we are, and sometimes they like it when the girl makes the first move or initiates something. It'd be worth trying, I suppose!
  17. you need to find someone who values you FOR YOU
    but that's also the thing, you don't "NEED" anyone. when the world around you has to change to complete you, you aren't being yourself
  18. You sound like you need to project a lot more confidence. I mean I'm no chubby chaser, and I find the figure of an overweight person very unattractive, but all the fat girls I've ever known that projected tons of confidence... Well let's just say if it came down to get busy, I'd get all up in that!
  19. You are right. Have you ever been to a BBW dating website? It's a popular fetish for a lot guys. Please Jayohe be nice and dont tell another blade to STFU. Just simply say "I don't agree" or "I believe you do not know what you are talking about"
  20. So I took y'alls advice and started a POF profile. I was already on OKCupid, but that place is full of creepers. I kept getting things like "Will you use a strap on on me?" and other blatant requests for just sex which would scare me off. And... I have a date for Tuesday. I'm scared, but I am trying to put my anxieties behind me and just be a normal person. lol.
    Thanks for the encouragement. 

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