Turf war with a fox

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by pocket biscuits, Feb 11, 2009.

  1. #1 pocket biscuits, Feb 11, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 11, 2009
    Kind of a long read, ye be warned.
    The weirdest shit happened to me last week. Being a semi frequent bs caller myself, I wouldn't blame whomever may call bullshit on this story.
    I had just seen my best friend Luke fight my dealer Jason. In most cases, I would have helped out my friend, but thank god there was no group brawl it was just the two of them one on one. (These dudes are all small, no bragging, if I had to intervene you coulda called it game over.)
    The fight was the most pathetic thing i think i've ever witnessed. No punches, kicks, elbows, nothing. Luke did nothing but hold Jason at the waist. Jason responded with holding Luke by his waist. They were standing there, just holding each other, for about five minutes, until they both gave up. I couldn't help but laugh about it with the two of them later.
    I guess I should mention that they're both cool with each other now, and that the fight was just over a sheisty sack or something. I don't even remember.
    As I was walking home after smoking a blunt and a bowl, along with a hit of salvia 80x, I was pretty nice and really high. I was on a very long dark road, (it was night) and I hear this growl. My thought- be cool, the biggest thing around here are coyotes. You're good. The thing moved into the lighted area under a streetlamp and it was only a fox. Why a fox would charge me I'll never know. It was probably just protecting it's young. Anyway, I was pretty pissed at this point after seeing two people whom I'd have thought would have had a hard fight, ended up looking like a couple of pussy high schoolers. (not a fan of fighting, but you know what I mean.)
    So this thing is just sitting there growling at me, not attacking. I pick up two jagged rocks, and made a fist around each of them so that the pointy tip was protruding out of the space between my middle and ring fingers. I walked right up to the fox, and yell pretty damn loudly, "Listen foxy, I'm not the guy you wanna piss off right now! Get the fuck out of my face, or face the mother fucking consequences cus I'm a hell of a lot bigger than you!"
    It squealed and ran off. Heh.
  2. That was pretty brave, I had a run in with dogs, but not foxes.

  3. I think I'd rather fight two foxes than one big dog. Great Danes and Rotweilers (sp?) are lot bigger and stronger than any fox I've ever seen.
  4. what are you fucking kidding me? foxes are about the size of a cat you could have just punted the bastard over the roof. I think in a cage fight your average layman could take down at least 200 foxes.
    Incidentally though, where I'm from it's considered very bad luck to piss off a fox.
  5. Im not sure if foxes growl? all ive herd them do is make a fucking loud ass screaming noise that sounds like a little kid crying.
  6. They can growl but it's a pretty lame noise compared to a dog.

  7. haha funny story. it seems any dogs, when they are singled out lose all their confidence in taking down "prey" or you, for that matter.

    that sucks about the fight, i hate when it ends up being a vagina war, whos got the biggest labia? I DO! I DO! :rolleyes:

    i dont get how people dont know how to take someone down, its common sense, right?
  8. just what happens when two pussies square up to each other both assuming that the other will step down, I've seen this happen before too, it just doesn't cross their mind that they're actually going to get a fight.
  9. ive had many encounters with animals.....

    i live in NY so seeing a wolf is something that is extremely rare

    i was driving home from my friend Zacs house with my friend Burger... I drive a little down the street and i see this dog that is all white white blue eyes... keep in mind this is the largest dog ive ever seen. ever.. so we pass by this dog and i turn around and as i turn around this fucking dog runs right in front of my car... ive never been more scared in my life when i finally realized what that thing was

    second time

    so im driving on my backroads right next to my house.... on my back roads there are two hills that lead to my actually road one called Arbor and one called Carnen.... im up at the top in my shitty ass 98 camry and my friend G was in his shitty mini van... so he get the good idea of hey why dont we race down the straight away on my road.... i tried to explain to him it was a bad idea, but i was high! all that came out was... well ***** sometimes u gotta race idk.. ( hahaha thats not how it actually went down, just one of my favorite Dave Chappelle lines) so we start racing.. and naturally my little car beat his fat van... i go to turn on to one of the hills to go back to my house... and theres 2 cops on that road.... so i decide not to go that way.... i travel down a road and get to the 2nd hill.... and theres 2 fucking cops on this one... well i drive by and me being a stoner and seeing all these cops(had nothing in the car so i thought it was okay) i pull up and start talking to one of the officers... he tells me that if i live around here that i need to get back to my house now and lock all the doors.... there was a family of BLACK BEARS in the woods behind these houses! needless to say i was freaked the fuck out... but they tranq'd the bears and put them back in their natural habitats but at first i thought i was getting fucked for smoking and racing hahaha

    3rd timee

    im smoking in my friends driveway in his car.... lights are off and everything... this kid has a prettty big back yard and we decided after we blazed to get some Quiznos :)... we turn on the lights and standing in front of us is this little fox, and those things are the cutest animals ive ever seen ahaha

    EDIT:im really fucking high sorrry for writing so much u guys prob wont even waste ur time reading it hahaha
  10. Nah I read it, animals are cool. The white wolf sounds nuts. We just have foxes but they're tame like cats and will eat out of your hand, it's pretty cool when they have babies with them.
  11. I wanted to get a tame fox like this for a pet.

    I found out they are not tame and illegal anyway. Now I want one even more.

  12. shit thats fucking tight where are u from?
  13. I'm from scotland, foxes in the cities are seriously tame here, they will even steal food from you if you're drunk. It's pretty cool if you've been smoking out doors and one just comes to chill with you, There's a waterfall in my garden and we used to smoke down in the summer there and feed the foxes chicken. I actually saw one just two minutes ago when I was smoking out my window.
  14. #14 PhillieBluntCP, Feb 11, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 11, 2009
    wow that shit is fucking ridiculous lol i would love for shit like that to happen.... only animal i blaze with is my orange and white domestic long hair kitten, named Simba :) acts like he doesnt like it but always comes back for more! :)
  15. I wanna fight with a wolf...I think it would be a fun test of humans strength. No weapons but what god gave us, my hands against his claws and teeth. :D I believe I would win possibly.

  16. hmmm yeah maybe.... if hes running at me full speed head on first thing id do is kick that fucker right in the nose and once he fell down stomp on his neck...

    but i would never do that cause i love animals and if that actually happened.... well who knows how it end up
  17. #17 pocket biscuits, Feb 11, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 11, 2009
    one on one, i think a grown man would take down a wolf 9 times out of ten. wolves usually travel in packs though.
    when im in woods where there a LOT of coyote packs, i always make sure to have a nice walking staff with me. wielding it has helped me a couple times.
    foxes are beautiful animals by the way.
  18. What about a Hyena. You think you can stomp it out before it eats you alive?
  19. one hyena, i would win. but like wolves and coyotes, they travel in fairly large packs and will slaughter you. to win a fight against seven or eight hyenas UNARMED, would be extremely difficult, but possible. you would have to be very fast in your hits and takedowns. very very fast.
  20. Hyenas can easily weigh 160-190 pounds. They can also bite through bone. They are faster and stronger than you.

    You would not win 1v1.

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