I know I can't be the only one who's completely fucked up a chance to get laid so I figured I would share what is probably the most embarrassing moment I've had because I find it hilarious. Went to this house party with a bunch of friends while I was living in Texas, ended up meeting this damn good looking blonde that was all over me and is obviously DTF. Around midnight or so her and her friends decided we need to find a hot tub. GREAT! Lets do it, so I hope in her car with 3 other girls and we follow this other car to their house to hit the hot tub. But they decided fuck the hot tub lets go back to her apartment, girl sitting next to me said "Well what about this guy", the blonde responds "I'll take him home when I'm through with him". Awwwww jeah. We get to her apartment and she goes to change and puts on these tiny little booty shorts, she might as well have just been walking around in her panties they were so small, we made out on the couch for bit and then all of a sudden I felt it... I had to take the most explosive shit of my life. I had to run a scenario in my head, could I pull off having sex without shitting on her bed or going flaccid because I'm holding it back so fucking much. I had no choice, I had to find a bathroom. I asked her where the bathroom was and she directed me to the bathroom in a room that was on the same level as the living room (DAMMIT) where everyone was hanging out. I figured ok, it's not so bad, I'm far away from these people no big deal. BOY WAS I WRONG. Thank god it didn't smell, but let me recall the scene from dumb and dumber for you. [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbDiujuv6rQ"][/ame][ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbDiujuv6rQ[/ame] THAT is exactly what happened in that bathroom, I wish I was joking. I even padded around myself with towels to hopefully muffle the sound. So I gather myself after I'm finished and I'm hoping that she didn't have thin walls, walk into the living room to silence. Oh they heard that shit alright, she couldn't even look at me and it was just downright horrible. So I'm texting friends to get a ride home but NO ONE responds. FUCK! I had to stay the night at this girls place and it gets worse. Wake up the next day and FINALLY get in touch with a friend that was at the party who happened to get his two front teeth kicked out (Yes, he got kicked in the mouth) at the party that night and just got out of the hospital but comes to pick me up. I have to ask her where the fuck I am to tell him how to get there. While I'm waiting on her couch she turns on the tv and you will not believe the fucking movie that came on. DUMB AND DUMBER! Just a few minutes before the ass explosion scene! So I had to sit there and WATCH what I just did in HER bathroom with HER. She turns to me and says, "That's so disgusting." I just let it go, there wasn't any point in trying to save face. I'm just waiting for my friend to arrive. Needless to say, I did not get laid. Anyone else have any sexual horror stories?
Anybody else get excited when they read the title? ....and I thought this was going to be about a blow job Just read through that OP and that sounds terrible! I would have been pissed.
You can only laugh when shit like that happens to you! I aint got no horror stories but i have fuckd up more than my share of chances!
Dude didnt her bathroom have a fucking fan?! You should've turned it on cuz they're loud and maybe some febreeze, I double facepalmed!
wait wait wait a minute here? Did you take a shit or did you squirt shit juice allover the toilet? Because if you just took a shit then I doubt it was that embarrassing. If you were squirting shit juice everywhere and making squirt noises I woulda got tha fuck outta therree
I feel for the OP man, I haven't had a bad experience like that, but I could surely imagine it going down I try to make it so I don't run into these types of problems ;] Lol
I was having drunk sex with some girl in the attic of an individual having a bonfire, and I got the urge to pee, to the point where I was going flaccid. I knew I had to relieve myself before I could bust so I hung my wang out the window. To my dismay there were people below the window so I pulled it back in and ended up pissing all over this guys box of clothes in the attic. Then I went back to work. The guy never said anything about it afterwards either.