Ok, so yesterday I was with my dad and I told him that I am going to start smoking again. He knows that I had tried it a couple of times before I got into some legal trouble (just got off probation). This is roughly how it goes: I told him that I am probably going to start in the near future. He sounded very hesitant, so I asked him what he thought. He said that my grades are good, sports are good, and he doesn't want to see me go on a wrong path again. I told him that I'm not going to smoke before school, and I wouldn't let it affect my grades. I then asked him why it was okay for him to smoke nearly everyday when he was 16 (he told me this a couple months ago) but not for me... He said that his circumstances were very different, as he had no family, nobody to care for him, and no money. He said that I have a good life, we have lot's of money, etc, etc... I said that me having a better life is more of a subjective viewpoint rather than fact. He agreed that this was true. I now realize that I should have said that he used it as a crutch, I will use as a way to relax and have fun every couple days or so. As the talk went on, he said that he could forbid me from smoking in the house, and that I may or may not listen to him, but being outside of the house, I have more of a chance of getting caught. He acknowledged that the legality caused a large hesitation. He then said that if I do smoke in the house, it could effect my responsibilities to the house, for example if I was asked to do something and I just wouldn't. He explained to me that if for some reason the cops came in our house, we could all be charged with possession. He also explained that if I had friends over that smoked with me, if they left and got in an accident, we could be sued, and lose everything. I told him that I would make it clear to friends that they have to stay over if they want to smoke, but he said that we can't really stop them... He was also worried about me driving high, me being in a car with other people that are high, etc., etc. Sorry for such a long post, but I need some advice of things that i could say to him that would relieve his hesitation. I really appreciate it!
by the way this was last night, and he told me to let him sleep on it. So I think we will be talking tonight.
It sounds like you and your dad are having an open honest discussion about this. Realize that if he's talking like this to you now he obviously respects you enough to realize that you've put a good amount of though into this. Most of the points he brought up are good ones, about the responsibility of the parents if friends are smoking at the house and get in trouble. Keep on like you're doing, keep a level head and adress each of his concerns with a reasonable answer. I guarantee you he'd rather keep communication like this open with you over not knowing what you're into.
Yeah, I know he really respects that I told him. I'm just not sure of the best way to address some of his issues with it. I really do appreciate how rational he is though, every point he made was completely understandable.
As I'm sure you know, all of your Dad's points are valid. Convince him that you're a responsible adult. I might not happen overnight but he seems very open to debate. Sounds like a chill dude
Bro he doesn't want people smoking at your house, obviously. So don't let people smoke at your house, simple. Tell him you wont even tell anyone about your talk and no one will even know that he knows you smoke weed.
what I'd say, since he seems like a reasonable guy, is that you understand where he's coming from, and respect that, but you'd like the freedom and security of smoking in your own home, so that you don't need to put yourself in a situation where you would be driving home high, or with someone else who was. As far as the friends thing goes, I'd just let him know, if its true, that your friends are responsible, and wont leave high, since they're bound to respect his acceptance of it. and wouldnt want to risk their little smoke haven. ask him if he'd like to smoke with you sometime, and point out that it wouldnt be a crutch. also point out that its not consuming you, and if it becomes a problem, you'll stop. as far as your stash, thats always a risk, but if you keep it in your room, he can claim ignorance, since I'm assuming you're over 18, and it would fall back on you, not him. goodluck, and I hope it works out, but if he's not cool with it, either find other smoking arrangements, or just wait until you're on your own.
Don't convince him. Be a responsible adult. Show him your a responsible adult. That is how you gain his respect. Just tell him you'll smoke outside at home, and that you won';t tell your friends that your dad knows. This way if shit does go down your dad will be in the clear. The down side is you will have to take all the wrap if you get caught, but thats the price you pay.
I say let him know that if he lets you smoke in your own home, there should be ABSOLUTELY no police trouble. As for friends smoking at your house, tell them no. Simple as that, let them know you can't have people smoking at your house and I'm sure they wont get upset or anything. At least your dad was willing to have a discussion with you, unlike most parents. Be appreciative of that, and just follow the rules so you can enjoy the herb
Tell him it will be safer if you can blaze at home and don't have to worry about transporting paraphanalia around and such.
Yeah, and if I smoked like behind my house, it wouldn't be IN my house. I may even leave my stash out there.
haha yeah thats what I did when I made "the agreement" with my rents, left my weed and bong in an outdoor hiding spot. After a while they didn't even care anymore and I'd just smoke in my room or the shower or where ever.
That's a really great idea. Gives your dad plausible deniability. I doubt he could ever get hit with a possession charge if your stash is "hidden" out back somewhere. It is great that the two of you have enough mutual respect to sit down and talk about this like the responsible people you sound to be. I think as long as he knows you will follow his ground rules (and that you guys can make those rules together) you will be golden. As others have said, SHOW HIM that you smoke responsibly, can keep up with all your various obligations and obey his rules -- I'll bet once you prove to him that you can do it he will be ok with giving you even more freedom, like having a friend or two over to smoke with...
Well atleast he is having a debate or something about it, and if shit hits the fans you could just smoke anyway just not at your house and hide yer stash good, if cops find it in your room only one getting on possesion is you no one is going to sue you for anything unless you have some super square bear friends who you prolly shouldnt be smoking with anyway. most parents Jimmy: dad i want to smoke weed Dad: oh hell no .... No reply from jimmy because he locked in a 6x6 box in the attic already.
dont you have a backyard or balcony man? or am i missing the point? do you mean he has a problem with you literally smoking in the house or just on the property? cuz that seems a bit ridiculous if you have a safe place around your house to smoke in the open air, which seems unlikely that you wouldn't since even prisons do lol. but yeah man i don't know what advice to offer you other than just research his more important points and learn more about them. for example, the getting sued for driving home high issue, i'd check the legality of that because i studied law for a while and i never once heard of a case of anyone being sued for such a thing, but then again, i didn't look either.