I've had insomnia for some odd number of years now. Yes, it probably contributes alot on my conscious but.. Ever since I was a young child I've had trouble getting to sleep. I have a massive amount of energy. Which is a paradox because if you ever met me I'm one laid back motherfucker. I started smoking at 14-15 I believe.. so yeah, that may as well play a role also. Symptoms negative? Not really, I mean.. It's kinda cool in a way but also very mind boggling and time consuming. Time consuming as in.. figuring out what the fuck is going on. Do I care? Yes, of course. I mean.. I don't care in a way that needs to be immediately addressed. But I do care about what's going on with me. You see, the thing about talking to a doctor/psychiatrist/psychologist.. Is.. they're never right about me. Get this, I went to a neurologist for my insomnia problems right? This fuck-head doesn't really care about my problems! The cunt just jumped up on the chance to prescribe me a variety of pills. Fuck man... Don't even get me started on that.. The medication he prescribed totally fucked me up. I was doing some fucked up shit I wasn't even aware/conscious about. I'm certainly not going through with that bullshit again. I'll quench his thirst with the dew on my kneecap when I kick him so far up the ass for even thinking about prescribing me some crazy shit.
I had to go with the answers that made the most sense and what got me the most realistic results. I'm starting to get confused about who made us because bill gates helps me the most. I get the real answers from him. Everyone else is worshiping some evil force or power (God of War) in a nutshell. The loving God doesn't hate. They really got 'em locked in tho. Its pretty hard to make sense out of our environment because of its toxicity. We are stuck around high voltage power lines (the cross/stake), toxic fumes and waste, fuel and chemical waste from factories, chemically treated water, and nature trapped in packaging that would take forever to break down. People are forced to fight for life, their stress and fear, induced by power hungry people, is felt throughout all of creation. Animals have to be controlled and held back because they fear Man so much and nature suffers the quality of air is falling rapidly. If nature was healthy we would be. DUH! if our home is dirty its gonna fuck us up.
Why do you think the God of War is evil? I was born on the exact day of this zodiac. (Mar. 21st) At exactly 12:21am. Weird, eh? This is exactly why I withdrew myself from societies closed eyes.
Bud is there any chance it could be a physical ailment that's bringing you down and making you see things? It might be something simple like a hormone imbalance or vitamin deficiency. I hate doctors too and I don't trust them but it might worth your while to at least go have a physical or something and get it checked out. If nothing else every possibilty you rule out helps narrow it down.
If you know for a fact that it will make him happy then why not just do it? Your his friend right? This is all in your head chief. Your choosing to live a neutral life. Quit fucking around and get on your shit.
Never fear, H2O420 is here to dispel (or at least assuage) your fears of insanity by telling you you're not alone. Last week I was smoking a blunt at my boy's house with another friend. This friend was sitting adjacent to me, to my left, so I that I could see him in my peripheral vision. While I was watching TV, I saw him turn to face me and lean his head in, and he said something really fast. It sounded like if you took a recording of someone talking and played it in reverse really fast. "Shomanash samana samarish" or something like that. When I turned to look at him and say "what the fuck are you talking about" I instantly knew he didn't say anything, or even look at me. I saw his face...almost melt back into his 'real' face, which had been watching TV the entire time. Of course when I asked him if he said anything he said 'no', but I already knew that. The other friend didn't hear or see anything. No ripples, but that was a fucking hallucination I'll tell ya. I also see people who aren't there and shadows and shit flying around sometimes. I've felt what felt like waves or electric snakes crawling all over my skin only once, after I accidentally slipped into an astral projection. I constantly feel a burning sensation in the palms of my hands. Sort of between a small marble and wriggling gerbil. There's also pressure/pain/tingling sensations in my 'third-eye', the top of my head, and at 'third-eye' level on the back of my head. Constantly. Otherwise I feel fine. If you find out you have any diseases let me know. My next physical isn't until June.
Are you kidding? Listen to yourself. This spine-tingling sensation you describe, I think we all feel it. I can will myself to feel it as a result of listening to a particular song or identifying with a particular feeling. It can be as easy as tuning in to the warmth of the sun on my skin or really focusing on the melody of a song that I like a lot. It will leave me with a wave of euphoria and my hairs will be left standing on end.
I know how you feel with the maturity level thing. It's probably more than just maturity. Some common things people I know are stupid crazy over: Drinking, making money, going to school to "learn", exercising while eating the shittiest of food, and other routine things. I don't really know anyone who really THINKS. That's why I like to fuck with people. I always test them. See how much crap they'd take from me. See how far they'd go for something. It's a pretty asshole move, but the people who stick around prove to show some signs of real sentience. Take a note from Scarface, always tell the truth. Even when you lie. When I first saw that movie, I thought Tony was an asshole. But I realized that he's not as bad on the inside as most people are. Oh and with the hallucinations, try drawing or something. Trying to redirect all that vibe into something kind of helps.
The only thing you can fight is yourself. Stop basing everything off of the physical when the physical itself is only a manifestation. Instead, look deeply within yourself and you will find what it is that you are looking for. Stop feeding it, stop fighting it. Get on the outside and look in, embracing everything that comes into your circle. Hallucinations are not insanity, following this dumbfounded society is. You'll climb out of the hole, your state of mind is being impeded on due to your outside circumstances.
I was sort of (soooort of) being facetious.. Yeah, if he has schizophrenia it would't be a good a idea. I forgot to add the part that said, smoke more weed in place of other things. All apologies.. That's just me though,
I'd like to believe that.. There's no way that it could be, I mean.. I'm in the greatest shape I have been in years. My diet consists mostly of fruits/vegetables and chicken so I'm positive it's not a vitamin deficiency or anything related. Why not? Heh. Let me put this out there.. I knew this kid since I was in middleschool. He was a nerdy kid who always got picked on. I introduced him to weed and I protected him from the assholes who always taunted him. Everyone use to make fun of him, even his friends. I NEVER did, not once and I'll swear by that. He started doing shit to try to impress me, like.. different drugs, vandalism, hooking up with chicks. etc. It got annoying real fast. So, I'm not going to promote anything he does unless it's beneficial in a positive way. He turned from a nice nerdy white kid into a white idiotic wigger kid. I know I'm choosing to live a neutral life. But I don't know what you mean by 'Quit fucking around and get on your shit' Are you suggesting that I get a job or something? Cause I already have one. H20! <3 Haha, man that's weird because I experienced almost the same thing with my friend. We were sitting on the patio just watching the sunset and listening to tunes and I SWEAR I felt her poke me in the ribcage. So, I'm like 'Meh, whatever' then.. I feel another poke. I look at her and she's like "What?" and I'm sitting there looking at her like a dick saying "Are you fucking with me?" She has no idea what I'm talking about, so I go back into relaxing and I get fucking poked again. This time I swear I seen her do it and I'm like "Mindy, stop fucking poking me, damnit!!" and she just looked at me like she thought I was insane... :\ Exactly! I only feel these sensations when I'm about to lucid dream/Astral. Which is weird, because I really wasn't anywheres near AP/LD. Which has me questioning my reality in the first place. GMT-05:00 EST Time (US & Canada) Nationalities: Serbian/Czech, Cherokee Indian, Polish, Italian, German and Greek. Hmmm, interesting. I'll try to do this, but I honestly think thats how I got here in the first place. Thanks for the support/advice and feedback people. You don't know how much I appreciate it.
Just footnoting here, but pernicious anemia is not correctable by diet. You can have the best diet in the world and it won't help Pernicious Anemia: eMedicine Hematology
Eh, many of the best people in the history of the world have been insane. And many have been normies. There's a compelling case to be made for either option.
How much sleep are you getting, man? Also, how do you spend your free time? I don't go out very much anymore, except maybe to the local hangout pub, rarely anything further than that. So what I do is I think of a topic that interests me and I learn everything a out it, for example I spent last weekend learning the history of haiku. I saved a few braincells and gained some knowledge, not a bad way to end the weekend, right. The was once a time where ecentricity was some to be admired, not anymore though. It's depressing as fuck seeing all my friends I went to highschool with showing the wild parties they went to on facebook; I'm just watching it thinking how I could piss people off on YouTube. I believe some of the greatest and most poetic people in history were fucked in the head somehow.
Maybe you are the next Jesus? Nah but you could have depersonalization, Ive had that shit ever since my first time rolling (ecstasy)! But i feel it has definitely opened my eyes and changed my life for the better. I just wish it was more real, more visceral.
I don't even know dude.. I kinda just stay up until I get tired enough to be able to sleep. :\ What do I do with my free time? Eh... I can't even begin to explain that. One day I might be reading a book about something random.. The next minute I'm learning a new song on guitar.. You know? If I'm not enjoying the simple pleasures in life I'm learning something new. It never really ends. Lol. Nah I don't think I have depersonalization. Speaking of ecstasy.. I need to get me some. Last time I took E I knew everyones feelings and emotions to the pin-point. Perhaps I could use a little introspection. Thanks man B-12 deficiency huh? That's weird because I intake alot of B-12 on a daily basis. I'm gonna setup an appointment with my doctor tomorrow and see what the deal is.