I'm finding people's (generally my friends and myself) inability to remain genuine to each other through the use of drugs. As in, a healthy relationship that creates a strong communicative connection between the two individuals has nothing to do with drugs, because drugs act as a poison being injected into the blood stream which only causes it to be circulated round and round). I say this purely from experience, and although my experiences are not the same as anyone else's, I have found that to be pertaining to all my other friend's experiences as well. The reason I find this the case is simple, when you are friends with someone because of a drug, which many stoners seem to find themselves in the case of, the relationship with the others is almost to an extent impure and hurtful. That when a relationship is based off a drug and getting high, the relationship is automatically, to me at least, considered a unhealthy one. Having a relationship be substance oriented, the two, although communicating while high, never seem to build a framework of their relationship, never seem to progress past the point of getting high. I cannot see the positives outweighing the negatives in terms of social use when it comes to marijuana. All the relationships I have built off of the drug I now no longer choose to hangout with simply because the connection was never pure, we reached a dead end through our drug use together. To me at least, taking drugs in a social context is not only intruding on the capability to get to know someone, but it has you get to know someone who isn't who that someone is. In this case, alcohol sort of masks who people are and creates a fake environment for people to roam about and pretend to give a shit who all the strangers they find themselves surrounded by are. A fallacy, a fluke, an ignorant masquerade, to me anyways. Now, I also feel like taking a lot of drugs not only diminshes your personality to an extent, but it twists you into someone you'd hate yourself become. Whether there are gains or losses when taking drugs is irrelevant, I'm talking purely on a relationship level, whether they are something that can get in between people and create that sense of seperation which causes the closeness to seem distance, or if it in fact moves the couple or group closer together. Now think about it, think about all the relationships you have built over the years and see which ones became the strongest and which ones became the weakest. Try to pinpoint the factors involved in the strongest and the factors in the weakest and see if it matches up with my thesis. See if drugs truly ruin relationships, or if they only make them stronger. I'm curious to know myself, but I feel like the answer is that it is entirely situational.
I have pretty much just have one good friend. Why? Because I find him tolerable and capable of conversing with me on an level that displays his sentience and intelligence. I'm not saying that there's a correlation between our stoner sessions and being as good friends as we are. I'm just saying...I just can't seem to befriend the other cookie cutter minded citizens of this land. Hell, that's why I'm on GC. You do have a good point though...But I would expand it. Not just drugs. Everything. People use everything as a mask. To standardize relationships and promote coexistence through bland and safe things. Talk about TV, Movies, School, Work, etc. You can't honestly tell someone how you feel when they go, "Hey, how are you?" I've tried that at my old job and it's sad to see the look on people's faces when they don't get the same cookie cutter bullshit. "No Mary, you know what? I feel like shit" etc etc. When you bake a cake, it's a fucking cake. Don't dance around it like you meant to make something else.
to be honest, i feel the complete same way. it's so obvious when people aren't being genuine.. incredibly awkward too, in my opinion
lol Mary: Chris this report is supposed to cover the last quarter table and chair commence flipping Chris: this IS SPARTA ! ! ! ! ! chaos ensues
very interesting, thanks for the share OP. I find drugs to be both beneficial and harming towards my relationships. I have close friends, but i consider my roommates more of my best friends. One of them actually quit smoking entirely and i have found it very difficult to communicate with him on my thoughts. Don't get me wrong, we are still very very good friends but when I am high and on adderall my mind goes to a whole new level and sometimes i feel like i come up with amazing thoughts, which i then share with my roommates. Problem is, he doesn't find my ideas as interesting because he says they are "too deep," but my other friend who smokes just is like "Oh my god dude i can't believe you thought of that." You are very right when you say people mask themselves constantly. I find marijuana to bring me closer to new people who share the same thoughts. I mean its easy to have a smoke session, but to have a smoke session and talk about ideas is something i love. I have found some of my good friends by smoking because when we get high and go do something, we share similar thoughts and yada yada. My friends that don't smoke i have to find other ways to keep conversations going or do activities that they enjoy so they don't get bored. I believe drugs bring out the real us. They block our regular perceptions and allow us to become who we want to be. Alcohol makes shy people more outgoing. Weed makes irrational thinkers rational. Just my thoughts though i guess
Is it just me or is this kind of tautological? You think a relationship is "impure" and hurtful when based off drugs because you think it's impure and hurtful? I think it really depends on how you (ab)use the drug. Yeah, I've made friendships founded solely on drugs and they never really lasted that long or were that fulfilling. But you know what? I never had much in common with those people anyways except for the drugs. When I've met people in the course of getting fucked up that I really liked and had a lot in common with the contents of our respective bloodstreams didn't matter. It isn't so important if you're sober, stoned, drunk or tripping, because you're a friend above all else. The important thing is just not putting the drugs above the people...
I think it comes down to the drug in question as well as the individual situation. I lost a good friend to coke. Instant change and we parted ways. Coke, heroin, speed and all the derived vet drugs just poison your body. I see many who spend a weekend on pills, then the uppers to cope with the associated downer, and I see it causing stresses in their lives. The money they throw away, their reliance on the pills to have a good time. It's a shame. I am good friends with other stoners. In general I find stoners to be more open minded towards life and I enjoy that part of people's personality. Would we still be friends without the weed? Yeah, we have loads of things in common, and we look after each other, that will never change. As life changes us we could part ways, but that bond will always remain. I also think that we will all still be smoking weed for a long time to come. I suppose age is also a big factor. People will change as they grow older, and drug use could simply be speeding up that change.
To put it simply, I completely disagree with the entire OP. (except the last line) You can't blame it on the drugs. You can't give drugs the credit.
I'm not blaming the drugs, nor the people choosing to ingest them. Heck, I'm, not blaming anyone. The post is a reflection of my experiences with drugs and friendship and the connection between the two. So, you believe that you can get to know someone better when your and their personality are distorted? That in a sense, both individuals hiding behind or inside a drug actually produces a more level to level communication? Can you post what you disagree with and post a reason alongside it, I'm curious to hear more than "I disagree because you can't blame drugs"?
honestly through highschool, once I started smoking I met way more people than I would have if I never started. Weed gave me something to relate to other kids with, and I made friends from there. Now I know if the only thing you have in common with that person is getting high and drugs, then there isn't really a true relationship there. As long as you have people you can relate to outside of drugs, "true" friends, then you're okay. If all you have in common with your friends is getting high, then your doing something wrong.
Symbiosis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia depends on the indiv.'s lives ie. whether they have jobs, method of toking, bud tolerance, appreciativeness, intelligence and inquisitivness. Individuation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Thesis: If and when Marijuana is used to promote goodness, growth, inspiration and healthy motivation by citizens of a society it beneficially develops inter-personal relationships based on compassion.
Generalizations based solely off of your experiences are usually fallacious ones, and I would say that's the case here.
Yes, I think people can become much more connected while under the influence of the same drugs. It is a bonding experience. When people are on the same drug, their minds are that much more closely aligned. It is that much easier to understand what they are trying to say and what they are thinking. Not to mention, it is that much easier to recognize yourself in others and appreciate the similarities in that a friend enjoys the same drugs and experiences that you do. Think of all the things you/they could be doing, but you are in the same spot at the same time doing the same thing. I do not feel that people hide behind drugs or use drugs to numb themselves to "the real world." Maybe some do, but I think that's an unhealthy way to look at it. I do drugs because I enjoy them... I don't doubt this is why most others do them aswell. So long as it is not causing harm to another, who is to say that's wrong? -- I do not look at drugs as a poison either. They maybe in a cold scientific sense, but I look at a poison simply as something you do not want in your body. If you choose to take a drug, it is the exact opposite of a poison. I think building relationships around things you have in common, like drug use, is most healthy. If you do not enjoy the same things, what will you do together? Besides, most of my deepest intellectual spiritual conversations have been under the influence of drugs... sober people seem much less interested in "wondering" about this beautiful life. Whether high, drunk, tripping or sober, you are always who you are... there is no fake self in which you cannot be you. Sure, we all have different moods and interests at certain times, but we are always ourselves. Sure, some people loose their inhibitions too much while on alcohol... but these actions/thoughts are roaming around the subconscious at all times, alcohol sets them free. This is how you see all aspects of a person's true nature. "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts." I have never had a relationship ended or ruined due to drugs... but many good times and relationships have been built under the influence. Long story short... I disagree.