The Weekend Is Saved!

Happy is so much better when you've been thru a stressful period!

Take this morning for example.


A lovely summer Saturday morning. The women folk was all of garage selling. So I had the whole morning to myself! Naturally I started with a little wake and bake. Then I was gonna go munch some major grindage.


Until I could'nt find my wallet!

SONOFABITCHSONOFABITCHSONOFABITCHSONOFABITCH!!!!!!



Nothing important in it.


JUST MY FREEEKIN DRIVERS LIC., CREDIT CARD, SOCIAL SEC., DEBT CARD, CARD KEY FOR WORK, $40 IN CASH!!!


Basically, my whole friggin life!


I retraced my footsteps, tried to remember where I'd had it last, etc. etc. etc. It had to be in the house somewhere! I spent the entire morning tearing this place apart looking for it! I did find a bunch of other stuff I'd been looking for though.


When Patch and the girls got home, new suspects started to arise. She reminded me that Precious had been bringing home lots of presents for us. A like new baseball glove, a Metallica T-shirt, among others.


I'm sorry.

Do you know who Precious is?

For some reason god keeps sending dogs my way. I guess he knows that I'm a softy and won't send them away.

She's the latest refugee to become a member of the family. She belonged to the ol' widow woman down the road. Thru a long series of events she now lives with us, but still indulges in her traveling lifestyle. But we're trying to civilize her. She does'nt bring us the neighbors Sunday morning papers anymore.


But she has produced some "gifts" lately.

Which started me thinking that maybe she had taken someone else a present. If I'd dropped it in the yard, it's possible........hmmmmmmmm........


A complete sweep of the immediate vicinity turned up nothing. I was getting a head ache and starting to just give it up and stay home all weekend!


On the way back to the house, I realized what I had to do.


I had to get inside her head.

I had to think like her.

I had to act like her.


After I got digging thru the trash, taking a dump in the yard, and smelling Patch's butt,(Man! Am I gonna be in some trouble for that one!) I was starting to see things from the dogs point of view.


There were two places in the yard it could've fell out.


1. Getting out of the truck with dinner.

2. While I was standing on one foot on the seat of my mower trying to impress my girls with some trick lawn mower riding. (I just don't understand why they look at me that way.)


Both locations were on one side of the yard. So knowing this I surveyed that area heavily, but to no avail.


Then I started to follow the two exits Precious uses from that part of the yard when going on her forays.


The first one yielded nothing.



But on the second;



OH YESSSSS!!! OH YESYESYESYESSSSSSSSSSS!!!


There it was! Lying on the grass about 50 yards across the road! All contents safe and sound!


THE WEEKEND IS SAVED!


It's a good thing she has a short attention span. She must have found something more exciting to do and dropped it. If she would have got out to the pasture with it,...........oh man.....I don't even wanna think about that!




So now I'm tickled and truly stoned. Had to have a big smokeout when I got my life back!


Happy Weekend everyone!