The Time I Almost Burned My House Down

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by experimentalist, Dec 5, 2008.

  1. I figured I may as well post another story from my childhood.. this one is about the
    time I almost burned my house to the ground.. whoops :)

    It was summer of 1993.. A friend of mine was over and we were trying to get DOOM
    to run on a box with only 4MB of RAM. We weren't having too much luck, so I told my
    friend that I had figured out the "lockout" code on my satellite dish receiver. My
    Dad wasn't home, we were there by ourselves.. so I tune the Satellite to the "Spice"
    channel, which was pretty much hardcore porn back then.. so I unlocked it and we were
    watching porn.. we were just like 12 then and to be honest, it was a novelty but nothing

    So we get bored watching porn and decide to try to get DOOM going again.. So we're
    working on that, when I head to the kitchen to get a drink. I see a frying pan on the
    stove with a thick layer of white grease at the bottom of it from my Dad making his lunch
    before he went to work that day. I think to myself "I wonder how long it would take that
    grease to melt if the stove was on high heat?" so I turn the stove on and put the
    frying pan on the stove. Just then my friend shouts "I got it working!!" and I run to
    the computer to see the DOOM logo appearing on the screen, and we're both pumped
    because we heard so much about the game. So we get into playing it.

    We hadn't played more than ten minutes when I could all of a sudden smell this really
    acrid, heavy, smell. I get up and walk over to the kitchen and there before my eyes
    is a tower of flame stretching from the stove top to the kitchen ceiling! I yell "FIRE!!"
    at the top of my lungs and race for the fire extinguisher. I grabbed it, pulled the pin,
    and doused the flame with a heavy white powder that came out of the extinguisher. My
    friend had appeared in the kitchen entrance while I was just putting out the flame. I
    stopped, total relief washing over me that it was out, and I tell my friend "Fuck man
    I turned on the..." WHOOSH.. the pan erupts in flame again!

    Stupidly In my relief I failed to shut off the stove, or at least, move the pan off the
    stove. I raise the extinguisher and again put out the flame, this time shutting off the
    stove immediately and getting an oven mitt. I put it on and grab the frying pan by
    the handle, which had mostly melted. I open the door and toss the frying pan into
    my driveway and away from the house. Thick smoke is billowing out of the door
    and my neighbor sees it and shouts to me "Is there a fire???" and I replied "Yes"
    thinking he said "Was there a fire?" and he rushes in and calls the Fire Department.

    So I go back inside and talk to my friend for a minute and tell him what happened,
    he's laughing his ass off at me for being a moron. I then think its best to get my dog
    out of the house so I take her and put her outside until we can get the house
    cleaned up. The kitchen looked OK just really dusty and the place smelled like Smoke
    but I honestly figured I could have it cleaned up by the time my Dad got home.

    So we open up all the windows and doors and try to start venting the place. Then we
    both hear it at the same time.. fucking sirens.. and they are getting LOUD. My gut
    starts to turn thinking that they are coming to my house.. and sure enough, they
    pull right up in the driveway and on the street and start running a hose. The fire
    cheif happened to also be one of my teachers at school, and I went outside to greet
    them and to explain. So they all relax when they hear there is no fire, but they are
    saying they need to check on things and whatnot, so I say its OK. They said they
    had special vent fans that help get the smoke cleared and I was happy to hear that
    they'd run them for me.. I knew by now that there was no way my Dad wouldn't find out
    about it now.

    I walk back into the house and all the firemen are in my living room laughing and talking
    and I all of a sudden remember.. "THE PORN!!" I rush into the living room and here
    are ten or twelve guys standing around watching the Spice Channel on my big screen
    TV. I remember saying "sorry guys.. I gotta do this" and shut it off. I then go back
    outside to talk with my friend about what just happened.

    So who pulls in? My Dad.. as usual. He hears about the Fire from the Police who were,
    as usual, up drinking coffee with him at his office. So he shows up and asks me
    if i'm OK and what happened.. so I tell him..

    "I dunno my friend and I were playing doom when I smelled smoke and It was the
    frying pan and I put it out and the neighbor called the fire dept." Omitting that I
    had placed the frying pan on the stove. He blamed himself for it.. I still never told
    him that it was all my fault :)

    So anyways.. he goes and talks with the fire chief and comes back and says
    "Son.. I was just talking with Mr. Smith and he just said to me 'Look, I'm a married
    man, been married a long time, but what I saw on your TV just now.. I never seen
    before'." And my Dad proceeds to give me the "Not all woman are like that Son"
    lesson. Looking back, it was hilarious. Then he tells me that he can get into trouble
    with the law for me watching that kinda stuff, since he is responsible for me and all
    of that.

    Anyways.. turns out the Kitchen ceiling was smoke damaged, whole kitchen needed
    a new paint job, and there were three tiny burn marks in the floor from grease. That
    was it though. Could have been WAY WAY worse.

    Thats my story!

    :bongin: ~Experimentalist
    • Like Like x 2
  2. Good story and 500 posts on the dot as well, + rep.
  3. lol good story. i almost caught my house on fire when i was 5. i lit a curtain with a lighter and my mom came in right when the whole thing caught fire and freaked out and snatched it, threw it on the floor, and rolled the carpet on top of it and smothered it. LOL wtf was i thinking.
  4. hahaha when i was kid right before my family was leaving to drive a very long distance i had a random bit of wire, so i stuck both ends in an outlet in the bathroom. the outlet then sparked a lot and charred the outlets and probablly gave me a shocck, but i was fine, ive also set my head on fire mutliple times on accident while smoking weed
  5. #5 Blazin'Talon, Dec 5, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 5, 2008
    I did almost the exact same thing last week :p I was going to fry something up and there was a pan on my stove with a little bacon grease in it from my girlfriend making herself breakfast earlier. I turned on the stove to high, because I'm neurotic and I always turn it to high for a minute or so at first... but I was high myself and got distracted by something. Next thing I know I'm reading something on my laptop and I smell smoke.

    I got to the smoke detector (right outside my room, useless piece of shit) just as it started to go off, and threw it under some laundry in the hall. I managed to get the pan off the stove before there were open flames, but it took at least 2 hours to clear the smoke out of my little basement suite. I sat with my laptop in the bathroom the whole time. Towel under the door and the fan going. The smoke in the rest of the place was so bad my eyes and throat burned when I went in to turn off the stove.

    That frying pan is still soaking in all kinds of solvents in the sink in my laundry room. I'm not sure It's even salvagable...

    Oh, and while people are bringing up other pyro-incidents. In third grade a friend and I were playing with matches at recess. It was fall and a lot of leaves had built up behind the backstop at the baseball field at the far end of the playground. I tried to light a piece of paper, back there away from the wind and ended up setting a fire that spread along the whole fence. Long story short the principal and a bunch of us kids stomped it all out. Never got caught :) Thinking about it now it was probably one of the first times my childhood (and present, really) obsession with fire manifested itself. I've always loved burning things.
  6. lol DSM owners catching shit on fire.
  7. lol, nice story. the porn thing was funny

    I almost burnt down my parents house a few times, and my place once. I have a habit of flicking cig ashes in the trash, then the trash can catches fire. One time i did it in my parents bathroom, and when i came back the wall was one fire, i got it out with a blanket. I've set so many things on fire i really can't remember the stories.

  8. Hehe, the car too damn near... :mad:
  9. Yeah I think most kids have experienced a scare or two with fire.. sure teaches you a
    good lesson though! LOL

    :bongin: ~Experimentalist
  10. I lit my mattress on fire.
  11. And how'd that turn out for ya?

    :bongin: ~Experimentalist
  12. lol, I must have been 3 or 4 at the time but i decided it was a good idea to out a pair of tweezers into an electrical socket:eek:. I mean, the tweezers had two prongs, and the socket had two holes, it just seemed like a good idea.
    I shoved them in there, I dont remember getting shocked but sparks flew out all over the place and it was so cool at the time because the sparks looked like they were bouncing on the floor. My mom ran to were I was and asked if I did it (apparently the lights flickered) to which, of course, I denied. The tweezers were ruined but I wasnt hurt, so all good :)
  13. How come?

    :bongin: ~Experimentalist
  14. Think fast! +reps
  15. Kitchen Fires, been there done that, but the added porn was hilarious.

    So other than lightening one up, the last fire that I ever started was when I was living with my parents in oklahoma. I have always been a paranoid delusionist as far as I can remember, but one day comes to mind very clear. Had just watched an alien movie, and was inspired to build an underground "safe zone" also known as a bomb shelter. Every day after school, I would start digging(bear in mind both my parents worked), started going to work in the garage behind the tool bench. It was the perfect size for me, all I had to do, was move the gasoline containers, and a couple blocks to get in.

    After a couple of weeks, I had a ladder system, and a 7 foot hole. So I started to make my hole a little bigger. That was my first mistake! Not knowing the right way to go, I decide to keep this "In the garage". My family was leaving to head to the relatives for the holidays, and I wanted to stay behind, because I had alot of homework to do, or so they thought. I had my own little room now, 3 ft high x2 x4, and it was pretty cool.

    So heres how the morning goes. I am in the garage, when all of a sudden I hear the garage door start to open! SHIT I practically fly to the door, and have to literally climb it to reach the pull cord "manual overide". So I run back to the hole, and just kick the cord with the lights on it back in, and push the jug of gas back over it, completely forgetting about the blocks. Bearing in mind 5 gallons, at that age was hard to lift.

    So, my parents come though the front door, wondering what the problem with the door was. Stunned lol, they couldnt figure that it was me. Anyways, so all is fine, they dont suspect a thing, and my father is playing with the door for like 15 min just to make sure it is working fine. So I am in the living room just watching tv, and my father comes in just as my mother is pulling the car into the garage. CRASH, BOOM.

    The weight of the car had collapsed my secret hole. So now the front right part of the car is under the ground. The boom was the GASOLINE TANK!!! You see I forgot to turn off the lights before kicking them. :( So we RUSH out to a BLAZING INFERNO! My dad quickly gets my mother out of the car, and rushed to the side of the house for the hose.

    All in all, no one is injured, THANK GOD, and the fire was put out. Damage to the car, the floor, the tools, and the wall estimated cost was about 12 grand, not to top the fact that the nieghbors had called the police. Thought it was a terrorist attack. Oh and did I mention the hefty fine about some shit about no builders permit.

    Moral- Dont build a bombshelter if it is not your house! 2. DONT BUILD ONE!
  16. Great story +rep.
  17. Only you can prevent frying pan fires.

    I'm glad to know you couldn't blame it on weed. Windows 3.1, early '90's, DOOM. I was there. Some of my fondest days. Sounds like we're close to the same age, only i was a stoner by then. Had a couple of close calls myself with fire. No fun.

    Good story though. Oh ya, like your mom always told you..... "Don't play with matches"...... or grease in your case. LOL

  18. Hey man I just sent you a private message about your story about almost burning your house down. Im casting for a tv show about cool stories like that and I would love to chat. Hit me up.

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