The Old Lady Next Door (True Story)

And...............................

I fucked her.



Out of desperation, I now feel nauseous. Ask me why I fucked her. Go on now.... ask.

.....


It appears I fucked her because I was super drunk, and super horny and pissed at my ex.



Now her and I, my neighbors wife, have been fooling around for some time now. But in my mind, I draw the line between fooling around and having sex with her because she is my neighbors wife. I've been over this many times in this thread, but hey... I don't want to die. I'm not sure why it happened last night. It was a sunday night - so that's fairly unusual. My friends and I had been drinking and playing some CoD 4. But somewhere between getting drunk, and smoking a stogy, I suddenly became furosiously horny. We were standing in front of my friends house which is directly accross the street from the old ladies house, drinking.

Most of my friends know about the desperate things I've done with her in these last 2 months or so. But what I did last night will go down in the anals of my life's history as the one most disgusting feet of my entire life. I made her put on a diaper.

Now, before I proceed, I would like to clarify that the diaper at hand was one of her OWN diapers; as for the reasoning behind why she wore one... well I put him into her poop chute and out came (insert poop here). <Poop.


Looking down at the floor, I took my last chug of beer left in my 40oz. I bent down to place the empty 40oz bottle on the driveway as Mike looked across the street, standing with his hands in his pocket. "You really have to vizualize what you're going to do, before you do it." he said as if he were a shaman from the old days.

*Gough* - Spit -
"Well dude" I replied, "I'm not one to tute is, or my own horn, but I got a good thing going." I drunkenly expressed with a proud smirk gracing my face.

"Hey man, it ain't my soul" he noted to himself as he went to grab another beer. I stood on the edge of the curb and stared back into the dark lit windows in her house. I had just finished my smoke and decided to walk across the street and have a little fun. I flicked the butt in the street, told all of my friends I'd be back in 30 minutes and walked across the street.

I came up to her gate and reached over to unhinge it from the other side. I slowly krept around the corner to her room and knocked on her door. Now when we say that I was drunk - I don't want you to picture a tipsy version of me who wobbles around and speaks loudly. No, the drunk version of me is a wittier, classier (in some respects) and much more clever version of me, in a nutshell. The door began to open and my trooper downstairs was already checking all of his equipment as if he was going straight into battle.

Her not so beautiful face appeared as the door opened, but all I could see was pussy. She smiled and said hi, but I didn't care. I pushed the door open, grabbed her by her shoulders and pushed her back (gently) onto her bed. She kind of acted suprised, but I didn't feel like I was going too forcefully with it, so I kept going. I pinned her down and put my hands on her wrists and then I did something I'd ALWAYS wanted to do. Like in the movies, I slapped her. But I didn't know it was going to excite her anymore....


Which is when this happened.


As I smacked her, and a smile appeared in her eyes, so did something else. Something, or someone with dirty thoughts suddenly appeared. There was a naughty, evil look in her eyes, and I was hornier than Andy Dick at an all male NA meeting.

As with to call upon all of my might and physicall control over myself, I begged my body not to give in to the tempation to pork this old lady. Yet I lost any and all thoughts of rationality and leaned over to open her drawer to find some condoms. I found a condom and tore that sun-of-a-bitch open.

"I'm going to get some, I'm going to get some" I thought as I began to taste the lubrication flavor that resides in your mouth after you rip open a jimmy with your teeth.

At this point, while I'm sitting on my knees trying to put the fucking condom on, things become akward. She looks straight at me and says "you don't need one of those Chris, I want it somewhere else." I instantly understood the meaning behind what she'd just said, and I threw the condom down. Now I don't know why I didn't use a condom, maybe because I knew she couldn't get pregnant up the ass.

She bent right over and I possitioned her in place. One hand at 11 (on her left shoulder) and the other at 3 (one hand on her right side.) We started to do the dirty pretty good.
She was letting me hit it from behind, and she was taking it like a champ. But somewhere in the middle of this 3-4 minute adventure, my brain began to pay more attention to my nose. I could smell the most distant but obvious odor of something foul. But I kept on trucking away. She was moaning and I was moaning. Things were turning out to be more like an 80's hardcore porn flick than a casual encounter; something I had never antisipated.


Suddenly, as if to be punished from some higher power for engaging in sex with a 50 year old women, I smelled shit. I smelled poop. And I knew what this was a precoursour for, because I've plunged the crap out of another chick on accident before, too.

The only problem is, I was about to cum. But me being as wise in my youth as we all are, I thought I could beat out the clock on when her ass was going to poop and when I'd cum. I don't know how I dumbed it down to a mental image of a clock with poop on it and my cum being faster than it - but I did.

As I whipe the sweat away and feel that I'm about to finish up on her - I feel a new feeling. I feel a warmer, stickier feeling than I was so accustomed to for these last 7-8 glorious minutes. I knew that it was different, but it's not until I put that dinstant smell and this new warm feeling together when did I realize that she was about to shit herself.

Unfortunatly, I was too drunk and too selfisly horney to pull out in time. not only did she smear Hershies christmas fudge all of me, but she pooped on herself as well. And since I was squishing her buttcheeks together when I was pounding her, it smeared all over her cheeks and pussy.

I jumped up faster than I think my drunk ass could have in any normal situation and started screaming. I didn't give a shit at this point about her roomates, or my fucking parents who lived right next door. I fucked screamed "bitch" out at her as loud as I could. I felt rage and nausia build up simultaniously in my stomach. I grabbed her fucking tinker bell patterned blanket and whiped that crap off my dick. I proceeded to run to the bathroom and jump in the shower.

Like Dane Cook once said in one of his jokes about adultery, "I cleaned my balls like I was putting them up for auction on Ebay." Never before hand shampoo and soap mixed so well together to get that disgusting feeling of shit off of my cock and thighs. I finished up in the bathroom and got dressed. I reached and opened the door - but as I looked into her bedroom, something didn't add up.

My mind: "She's there. Yes. And I'm here. Yes. Ok, so uhm, why the fuck is she wearing a diaper?"

Sensually. No wait, sexually - she laid on her bed. Like a pinup model, posing espesially for me. I don't know if she thought this was turning me on, but the diaper, that was a new one. She seemed to have no shame or embarasment for what had just happened. This lady is turning out to be more weird, twistated and fucked up than I had intentionally thought. She just laid there as if she hadn't just shit herself 10 minutes prior, and she wasn't wearing a diaper.

I became embarsed for both of us at this point. I was embarased at the fact I had stooped so low, and I had that morning after feeling of guilt after a one night stand when you roll over and see you just slepped with a fat chick. But mine was instnataneous.
And I felt embarased for her, because she was wearing an adult diaper.


I haven't told any of my friends about this yet. It's one of those things I don't think I could ever live down if I told them. Honestly, after this "adventure", I'm done with her. I just don't understand why she didn't whipe her fucking ass. At what point would she even begin to think "Maybe he'll like to see me in a diaper." Like she was doing me a favor to fulfill some fantasy I or every other boy on this earth might have? Ewww... no thank you. Not for me.


What a fucking night.