here is a game where you say a funny but unfortuanate story that has happened to you regarding, weed, drugs, or alcohol (i dont classify weed and beer as drugs) and the stories have to be short and to the point, and also true and finish them with saying either "FML" or "Fuck my life" heres mine: the other day I went to buy a quarter ounce of some dank for 120. But instead of giving him what i thought was 2 50's and a 20 dollar bill, I gave him 3 50's. FML if you still dont get what your supposed to do, here are some others: Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
today I read a plea agreement from the prosecutor doesnt look good when he offers 18 months as a deal lol
I was smoking outside with friends that were newbies and I asked one of them to pack a bowl and it all blew away in the wind . I don't smoke with noobs anymore.
I trecked across some oval in the middle of the night to smoke some bowels in this cave I had sourced earlier only to get there and realise my friend had lost the bowel piece.
I am a PC repairmen by contract. Well i am certified in the field and have had years of experience in this feild. Well i got this dude's computer 2 weeks ago. Well i charged him 50 dollars for a linux install since he did not want to buy the windows lisence. SO i install it and wireless card is so damn old i cannot get it to work. well i turn it into him, since i was not obligated to do that in the first place, since it had such little amount of ram (128) it made it semi annoying. Well i got it to install puppy linux, drive it there, drop it off. get a call it does not even boot. go there and its fucked. go back home put a new HDD ( free of charge) since i took so long. Then install Abolute Linux, worked. Was going to explain he needs windows if he does not want to buy a new network card. so he agrees on ram upgrade, i noitice after this HDD failed again! WTF well since i took so long, ik made a few mistakes on few other things. But i am doing my job so cheap. Well i feel like i am in a bad spot and it sucks. I am broke and they are barely paying me shit for my work. FUCK! i was suppose to buy the ram last week but i was so busy doing things. So now i am even more late! God save me, lol. Anyways i feel like FUCK MY LIFE. Cause i want to do so much good and end makes me look like a jackass. -BH
Today, I realized that in the past 2 years of my life, I've had the same box of condoms and there's only 5 gone. I'm married and 2 of those 5 were given to my friend because he was going straight to his girlfriends house and didn't have time to pick any up. FML.
I read that this guy smoked bowels and shit my pants. FML But seriously. I left my weed out on my table one day and noone saw it, the next day, my mom found it. FML
I clicked on that site and read a few n this ones da worst "Today, it was my birthday. I set up a dinner party for 20 of my closest friends. I arrived at the restaurant, fully dressed and everything. When I got there, I thought everyone was ready to surprise me, but instead, nobody showed up. FML" ROFL fuckin sucks for that guy wow hahahahah
Im 20. broke. job-less. live in a trailor. have an abusive girlfriend. struggle to get weed. have been isolated from all my friends.........wow...didnt see that coming. FML!
I broke my heel and I'm in constant pain, so I drive allll the way out to my doctor on my fucked up heel. I get there, hoping for some happy pills to get rid of the pain, and the bastard prescribes me Tylenol 3...fml. But on the upside...cold water extraction here i come!
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
That's some of the funniest shit I've heard hahahaha. I lost a bag of mushrooms because I was so fucked up, and my mom decides to clean my room and manages to find them under my bed. FML!! A few years ago I tried to send a txt to my friend that said "Sorry I can't hang out, my Mom's being a pmsing bitch right now" and I accidently sent it to my mom. Fuck my life. hahaha
I hit a bong at a party in south carolina and some asshole got a cellphone pic of it, now it's all over the news and my career as an olympic swimmer is over. FML
Seriously this time, I got pulled over coming back from a party with my bowl in the car cop breathalyzes me even tho I'm the fuckin passenger charges me with underage possesion of alcohol searches my car and takes my bowl, now I'm on probation and I can't toke up till I get off, and I have no fucking idea when that's gonna be. Fuck My Life