The most loving thing.

When you find yourself unsure what to do, or just whenever you have a moment and remember to do this, ask yourself this question:

What is the most loving thing I feel I can do in this moment.

When you ask yourself this question, with an open mind and heart, don't think about it, just be still with it. In a moment you will see an answer, and whatever that answer is, do it, without thinking about it.

It doesn’t need to be a big thing, just something, for someone, in a way that answers the question, but without expecting anything to come from it.

Then just share what happened.


I’ll start things off.

I was sitting on a bench in my local gardens with a cushion under my arse. The weather was warm, it was a bit sunny, and slightly breezy. I’d not long smoked a little herbal joint, and had begun my meditation. There was nobody else around, which is fairly usual for this place at this time on a Sunday.

At some point a man walked in and sat down on a bench about 20 yards in front of me. He was sitting there, in what appeared to be his own thoughts, by himself, taking the opportunity to be alone, to ponder, in this nature-filled peaceful space.

Even though I was there doing the same thing, sometimes when I’ve been meditating for a while, and I notice someone, especially if I’ve had my eyes closed for most of the time, I get the feeling to go and speak to them, and often start to feel there is a coincidence or synchronicity taking place.

I didn’t want to break this moment, but then the question came to me: What is the most loving thing I can do in this moment? I knew I could go over and talk to him – perhaps he was in need of some company. Perhaps he was only there because something was going on in his life, and were I to engage him, even for a short while, I might help him somehow.

I wondered how much my doing this was for him, and how much it was me simply adapting my former idea of thinking I should speak to him, thereby actually making it more about me. Perhaps the most loving thing I could do at that moment was to let him remain in his own space and not enter it just because I might want to. As I thought this, he stood, did his trousers and belt up, which were strangely undone (I hadn’t been aware of this prior to him standing up) and watched him slowly walk off.

Before asking myself the question, I was feeling like I ought to engage him, when really, what I wanted to do was continue in my silence. It was only by looking at what I felt was the most loving thing I could do at that moment, that I realised it was to let things be as they were, and when he walked off moments later, I could see this had been right.

I did try again a bit later, when I wasn’t sure whether to disturb my daughter and her friend, but then took some chocolates in to see if they’d like them. They didn’t, which didn’t matter, but asking the question allowed me to do something that removed the doubt about whether to do so.

There are other experiences where something more overtly loving occurred, where no question had been asked, which might’ve sounded better. But it’s not my intention to self-aggrandise here, and this is just what happened after the question appeared.

So, who's gonna post next I wonder?

 

As I said, doesn't have to be some grand gesture, just a little something, here and there, is all that's needed. If it feels too risky, don't beat yourself up, just try something that feels less risky. Only you can know what you're comfortable doing right now, and there's no wrong way to do this. So have fun with it. In fact, something that involves humour is good, as making someone smile or laugh, is a great way to give a little bit of love.

 

You really hit on something with the idea that our desires can guide our lives. This has been mentioned before here. I recall D_420 saying something about this.

In order to get to this point, one has spent so much time letting go of desire, that the idea of indulging it again seems somehow wrong. But, when the ego has been spiritualised, when the connection has become crystallised, there is a harmonising of will, intention, desire, into one homogenous self, so that it no longer matters what could happen, as what will happen is always going to be loving.

 

Best way to expand it is to push against it ever so gently, and don't worry what happens. I'm sure you'll be fine. If you're doing something for the right reasons, then whatever happens, even if it feels a bit strange, will still be fine.

 

You could just say 'fuck it', in fact you just did (come to mention it, so did I)

In reality, people can say whatever they want - it doesn't mean we should be ready to judge them for it.

One man's 'unfair situation', may be exactly what someone else is looking for.

By accepting that we're all on this journey together, and at different places along the way, while you may 'know' that something is wrong in any given moment, it is also still right, in as much as it is happening. Once you accept that what is happening, IS happening, then you can act on what you see if you wish to, but not from a reactionary perspective, but from calmness and stillness, as it is only from this place that something can ever truly be done. It is from this place where you do so with love and compassion.

 

Perhaps asking yourself what is the most loving thing, is a bit too much under normal situations.

I'm now feeling like the question should be:

What loving thing could be done at this moment?

It widens the possibility of seeing something that gets put into practice, without getting put off by seeing something that might seem just a bit too much.