The future of shit!

Discussion in 'Science and Nature' started by Palmer Eldritch, Oct 26, 2008.

  1. A species is only as advanced as the most basic function it executes. Its a biological bottleneck for civilization as I see it. For uncounted millenia humans have crapped, and vulgarly wiped ourselves with our hands or paper or at best, blasting jets of water into our nether regions. We are still lowly beasts.

    I say make the tyranny of our ass stop! I propose that we remove the small and large intestines and replace them with a chemical battery that has the ability to take our solid wastes, and convert them fully into clean electricity. Instead of an asshole, we'd have a power outlet where we could recharge our IPod or phone.

    Think about it! No more squatting in dark alleyways, using hobo clothes as toilet paper (as I know we've all had to do at one point) plus enough free energy to completely block out the rest of the world digitally... what more could you want? Just don't eat too much in one sitting, it has no other place to go but back up...

    This post was made tongue in cheek of course, having just gotten out of the bathroom... but still I wonder if there will ever be a time, while we are still contained in these bodies, that we'll evolve the methods with which we deal with our waste into a more efficient or useful manner without dirtying our precious hands or sensibilities.

    chemical/bacterial battery?
    gene therapy for increased nutrient absorption?
    eskimo knives? (if living in the tundra...)
  2. I'm glad, that was one of two reactions I was hoping for :D
  3. ..........we can try it on you first then i will see if i like it
  4. I like blowing out a big nasty crap.

    maybe thats just me.
  5. Yeah, i say we gotta test it first...

    on you./////
  6. yeah that can be fun too Roach, but all I know is that I almost always miss my ride in the morning because of the way my ass detains me. Its just another one of life's burdens waiting for someone to revolutionize it.

    and of course, I'd want to try it, after several animal trials first.

    maybe next time I stick to posting some new developments in optical color theory like I had planned instead.... :p
  7. if you want to save time in the moring use adult diapers
  8. I always loved the pharse "cool as shit" because when people show me their fancy laptops I can say, "Wow, that's cool as shit" even if I still think that shit is a little cooler.
  9. bah, there are no visionaries on this board...
  10. hello fellow stoners! =)

    i don't think we'll ever really eliminate shitting all together, as it's a natural biological process that we must simply deal with.

    however, this still leaves some interesting issues.

    how we treat our waste once it's left our bodies is something that varies across cultures. you might like this interview in salon.
  11. that is just crazy idea...

    how bout this,
    we use our shit and convert to power, now that would be infinite
  12. Do I have to sow everyone's ass up? :p
  13. imagine if we started ingesting through our ass and shitting through our in that south park episode, lol.
  14. well now, thats just silly...

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