Hello all. I have a story to tell. So I hope you'll listen or read. Whatever. Ok I've been married to my wife for 3 yrs now. When we first started dating everything was cool. We hung out every min of every day. We did everything together basically. Then about a yr and a half into the marriage she just changed. She stopped wanting to go out. She only wanted to do one position. She stopped smokin the green. I was like ok. Maybe something is wrong with her. So I didn't go out. I was cool with the sex. But did not stop smokin. She met me while I was high so she had to deal. But like 3 weeks after that she started in on me with this whole you need to stop smokin shit because she said she didn't want to be married to a doper apparently. When I refused she left me for a month to stay with her mom. She came back when she found out that she was pregnant. We patched things up but I still continued with smokin. We met that way and I was not gonna stop. So one night I come home from work only to find out that some kind of intervention was going on at my place. I was pissed as all hell. As a end result I threw everybody out of my house including her and just dealt with things myself. That's when I met Nici. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. She was completely understanding of my situation. The first night we hung out we were basically out all night. We started up slowly at first mainly because I did not want to cheat. She knew that. But we kept talkin and my wife kept up with her bullshit so me and Nici just got together one night and never looked back. That's when my wife comes to me and says she wants to work things out. I was like okay. But in the back of my mind I'm not a fool. So we got back together. Me and Nici slacked up on getting together. Everything was going good until recently. I found out that my wife was cheating too. Now don't get me wrong I was mad but not mad. I know I was cheating and something like this could happen. And right before I was gonna say ok we can work this out she comes out and tells me that my daughter does not belong to me. And that she was glad that she's not mine. I was feeling guilty about the cheating the whole time and was going to stop. But now. FUCK THAT. Even when I was being faithful she was out running around with her ho-ish ass friends. So right now as I sit here typing I'm gonna go ahead and file for divorce. All because she had a problem with me and the green. Her loss though. Maybe it makes me a dick for not feeling bad now. I don't know. Well that is my story. Thanks everyone for listening. Later.
The first deadly and many times last mistake in any relationship is when people don't communicate honestly, they see changes happening in their partner but don't investigate but rather assume to comfort themselves. A behavior, which turns out to ultimately be to their own detriment, because people are always talking even when their lips aren't moving we just need to listen with better ears. If you want to keep things going with Nici I would deal with your wife and potential divorce first, get them out of the way and move on. Too many people assume that simply because they aren't in the same geographical location with the people they're having issues with that the problem will be solved, it won't. Your next partner deserves better and so do you, I humbly suggest you deal with your wife and the emotional baggage that comes with the deceit that's been operating between the both of you. A fresh start can only happen with a clean heart. ~AK~
sorry to hear about everything man i know its tough but hopefully youre going in the right direction now. best of luck
you go dude, divorce that bitch. i mean just an onlookers POV here... turns out she was cheating on you and the kid ain't yours... she doesn't like your habits... you found a new girl. looks like things are laid out for perfectly just coast right on out of that nightmare and agree also with what AK said, it's all about starting fresh and new. you dont want to be bringing any baggage (speaking of which unless you really wanted that child, you should be counting your lucky stars right about now! - i know i would be)
Damn man thats kinda rough. I wish you the best of luck on your situations. Im sure everything will work out alright though.
These two comments remedy your situation perfectly. Just listen and keep it moving. Just dont make the mistake of lack of communication like this little mishap. Love and Live Life
Hello! I'm sorry to read about your problems and I wish you a speedy recovery. You didn't mention how old you and your wife are? Also I agree that it's very unfair of her to dictate new rules when she already knew that you were not about to drop your pot. I think it may have just been guilt on her part and putting up unrealistic demans on you was just a shallow way to justify her unfaithful actions. She knew you liked pot and for awhile, she did too. If she changed her mind about pot for herself it should be a personal decision and you should not be required to follow suit. Also I think we all agree that a intervention was way over the top unless you have a array of other problems you didn't mention? I don't blame you for having little patience with the 'come here - go away' games she plays because she quickly saw that it only served to drive you to the arms of another woman! Once you WERE with your new woman she sudennly wanted to make nice and pull you back again. I would be very concerned about her daughter! I'm not sure about your state, but you just may be stuck with child support for a long time ~ even if you did have your DNA tested and the DNA tests show that she is not your daughter. Chances are very strong that you will be stuck with child support bills anyway. I'm curious to know if she was pregnant before you two were married? If so, I wonder if you can have the marriage annuled ~ and this is if DNA tests come back negative? I suppose one could claim a almost "breech of contract" if it turns out that she was pregnant with another mans child when she met you and didn't bother to tell you? I dunno... I am no lawyer. From what I am reading it appears that your soon-to-be x is very immature and ~ because she is so wreckless I would not recommend that you take her back ~ ever. The prime reason is that you can expect a life of constant turmoil with her and how fun is that? Also the other biggie is that you simply can't TRUST her! Life is much to short my friend and I would get that divorse as SOON as possible and put that bad trip behind you. Nici sounds like a good match for you so I would not risk loosing her, BUT I would also recommend that you should NOT be in any hurry to marry *anyone* for a long-long time. Personally, when I was younger I noticed NONE of the people I knew who were married were truly happy! I saw most marriages colapse and it didn't matter how long they were married. When kids became involved things got even more complicated! I made a personal commitment to myself to NEVER get married and I have never, ever regretted it. At 35 I gave myself a birthday present of a vasectomy and I have NEVER regretted that either. As a result, I own my own home and it's all paid for. I have ZERO debt and only two credit cards that both have a zero ballance due. I am responsible for my OWN debts and I simply love it all! I've had live-ins' but for now, I'm single again. The things I REALLY like are my COMPLETE freedom to do as I please, I wake and go to sleep when I please and I answer to no one. I vacation when and where I want and I never have to worry about getting home late and the excuses I may require. I have girlfriends I can call to go out when I like and they can call me too when the 'need' arises. You know, in these rugged financial times I've recently had THREE old girlfriends that 'want to get back together', but I am much too selfish and I've told them all a polite, "I just don't think things can work out" AND "I just can't afford you"... which really is not true because I can. My point is why would I marry or hook-up with anyone when I would only be giving up my freedoms and the other women I see? And actually, the other women appreciate that we have no strings attached and that I can still be kind and attentive without a full-time 'attachment'! OK, IF I met a rich, attractive, clean-freak nymphomaniac I MAY be interested in something full-time, but until then, "I" control my life and that's how it's going to stay. I do hope I've given you some things to consider. "I" remain, SOGLAD
I'm 29 she is 27. Nobody wants their marriage to fall apart. Sometimes it just happens. She got pregnant close to a yr and a half after we were married. I know the child support thing is gonna be a bitch. But that's life. She gave a paternity test to the other guy and she is his. I'm concerned about the kid too. I really did love that little girl. But I'm glad she's too young to remember any of this later. Right now I just got through setting her shit to the road. If she wants it she'll get it....
Two words man "DNA test" seriously they have kits you can mail in and it is about $200. You can pick one up at Walgreens or another drug store. It is like 30 for the kit and 200 when you mail in for the results. Also many states will pay for 1 DNA test talk the the courts in your area (domestic courts same one for divorcee, child support, custody, ect) HOWEVER if you do go through a custody battle at any point MAKE SURE YOU ARE CLEAN - the courts can and will piss test you.
I think he means that BS law that says a man may have to pay child support on a kid that's not his because the child was concieved during the marriage or some shit like that. I don't know the details though.....
I'm so sorry to hear that man. I'm in the same boat actually. Shit hit the fan last week and hubby and I are contemplating divorce as well. It's an emotional rollercoaster...good luck.
to be honest i would go with nici, as long as shes okay with the weed, it sounds like mabey when your wife changed it might have been BECAUSE she was cheaing and had feelings for someone els......good luck, choose wisely
another thing about staying clean, during the divorse in a domestic court situation she might say that you smoke weed in which case you should really REALLY be clean cuz they will check your piss and MABEY your hair (if they check hair your screwed unless you got powerfull shampoo) Goodluck!!!
you both were cheaters, bad lovers. a cheater is always punished, so you shouldn't have been upset in the first place, you had it coming man.