CHAPTER ONE So here I lay on the top of a hill, the bunker I saw was a devilish thrill. My stomach popped out and rode the long hill--what a chill--down to the acres of Woodland Bay. I approached the patio, and inward I came. \t“It's not every day you become insaneâ€, the whispers of night called from angles around. And although it had spoken, we heard no sound. …‘Up by the fence, jump in the meadow, enter a place, of taste ; yet hollow…' “There were rooms reaching far beyond the planks, with bathtubs, and kitchens with noodles and cakes!†That is what Mary had wanted to say. The truth of the matter is corrupt and bad, contrary to what Earth used to have. ‘The Bay of Woodland ignited the eyes of countrymen built from corruption and lies', a telling of fortune that one man had made. With this book he wrote just for glory and fame. And yet it is good, or evil you say; and yet it is good, or evil you say ; and yet it is good, or evil you say. The above is the beginning of a book I'm writing. The structure is strange, but it makes perfect sense if you decode it enough. I was thinking of maybe a Dr. Seuss-like book but obviously deeper & darker. Tell me what you think!
I really like how you implemented soliloquies to explain the attitude of the characters. It's very frustrating when writing a new piece of literature only to find out you've completely ignored key points that are needed to aid in character development. I'm looking forward to the finished piece, keep up the good work!
I really like it, a lot actually, but my honest opinion is that I just couldn't stand reading a good-sized book written in that style... I think my head would implode. Excellent writing, though man... I would really enjoy a short story written in that format.
I have to somewhat agree with him, as I said before it's a great piece you managed to bring fourth to us. But he does have good reasoning, I believe a "nias" (Shorter) novel is more for you.