find a hobby meetup.com go meet some peeps depression sucks ive been suffering for over ten years. some parts are good some parts arent get out and exercise theres hot bitches out with short shorts and tans
Break the cycle dude. Do something you've never done. It takes some investigation to find your calling. It won't just drop into your lap, you have to go out and get it. My suggestion is to try going to a community college, and just declare general studies. You can take classes in a variety of things, and see what suits your liking. Do all kinds of shit too, not just English and Math. (although those things are important) Do some theater, sculpting, take a culinary class. Take shop, take auto shop. Take an Environmental Science class, or Astronomy. You'll be required to take some humanities classes, so take something interesting. Greek and Roman history, African or Asian studies, Mythology. Criminology, Social Advisory, Law. Sports Medicine, Medical Technician, Veterinary Studies. There's like a fucking billion things you could do in the world, just have to find something you love and get good enough at it that people want to give you money. Just don't take underwater basket-weaving.
this just sounds like a confusing and lonely time in your life right now. the best thing you can do is find someone to talk to/make some friends and find something to work for. spend a few days just thinking about what you want and how you can get there, the bigger it is, the harder you'll have to try, and if you keep up with it, the better you'll feel. i've have atypical depression for as long as i can remember. it's a bitch and i'm in a really low spot right now. but everytime that happends i have to take some time to talk things out and remind myself what i live for.
its life man get used to it. the sooner you do the sooner it stops bothering you. works for me "/... and dont smoke weed when depressed, it usually just makes things worse.