Success With Synthetic Urine For Drug Test

Discussion in 'Tokers Q&A' started by whateveryousay, Jun 4, 2014.

  1. #1 whateveryousay, Jun 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 4, 2014
    Hey I know people have done this before but I haven't seen one that's totally recent so I wanted to add a success story using synthetic urine for a drug test. What I used was the Monkey Whizz kit from Serious Monkey Bizzness but from what I've seen this, Magnum synthetic urine and Quick Fix are all of the same quality. My drug test was at Quest Diagnostics. You don't have to read all of my experience I just thought it might help offer some insight but there's a run-down of the experience at the bottom.
    So I had to take a pre-employment urine analysis for this job I really wanted. When I first started trying to get the job, I stopped smoking because I knew there would be a pre-employment drug test and I was hoping I could get my system clean. But after awhile of not being able to get an interview I kinda gave up and started smoking again. So pretty soon after that I ended up getting a call from the hiring manager for an interview so I immediately stopped smoking AGAIN and had the interview (which went great). I figured I had about a week or so before they'd get back to me and then after that I'd have 24 hours to get my drug test. So after this I started my research for passing drug tests. First, I decided just to try and let it run through my system. I have been smoking on and off for about 5 years. Usually I'll smoke every day for a few weeks and then take a break for a couple of weeks to a month or so before picking it back up. But I'm a pretty fit guy with a high metabolism so I thought it wouldn't be too hard. I picked up some Metamucil (read the plant fibers in it would help reroute or flush the toxins or something), some cranberry pills (read it would flush your urinary tract) and a home drug test and was good to go. I was drinking a lot of water (probably about a gallon a day) along with metamucil and some cranberry pills a few times a day along with working out every day and did this up until the day before my drug test, which was a Wednesday. That morning I used my at home drug test to see how clean I got. And I FAILED it. So then I went into panic mode, I wasn't about to lose this job just because of a stupid drug test. So I opted for the substitution method. I didn't really have anyone with clean pee I could use and that kinda sketched me out anyway because I couldn't know what was actually in their system and I didn't know how to keep the pee the right temperature to pass the test so that evening I went to my local head shop to get some synthetic urine. I walked in and asked for some synthetic urine to which the girl behind the counter said "Well we do have some fetish pee" which DID NOT sound like what I was looking for. But she showed me the instructions for it and even though I hadn't done any research on Monkey Whizz (just Quick Fix and Magnum) I decided to go ahead and get it, hoping that the girl behind the counter didn't think I was into getting peed on or anything. So I'm not going to go into all the details of the instructions but this product had like a white elastic belt with a little plastic bladder filled with already liquid fake pee with a tube coming out of it and two clips that stop the piss from coming out. The bladder would rest right above your dick and had a little temp strip and a heating bad to make sure you got the temperature right.
    Okay so the day of the test about an hour before I was going to leave I but the little belt on and attached the heating pad and then covered it with my boxers making sure nothing could be seen in case I had to pull up my shirt before the test or anything (which it's not noticeable, even just being covered by boxers, in case you go to a place that makes you strip down). I was also surprised by how comfortable it was, as long as you made sure the clips on the tube of the fake bladder didn't poke you in the dick or anything haha. I also drank a shitton of water and gatorade and metamucil along with some B12 pills in case I pussied out and decided to use my own piss. So 45 minutes later I checked the little temp strip and it was perfectly at 98 degrees. I had to print out some paper I had forgotten about and headed to the testing facility (which was about 30 minutes away). By the time I got to the testing facility the pressure was on. I checked the bag in my car and it was at 102. This stressed me out so I was sitting my car with my pants unbuttoned trying to shake the bag around and hold my crotch against the air conditioner to cool it off. When I thought it was cool enough I headed in. Before I went into the actual test site I went into the bathroom to check the bag one last time. The temp was at about 97, I thought this was good enough and headed in.
    I get in, get all the paperwork filled out, and head to the back. The guy doing the test seemed like he really didn't give a shit about anything but I was still pretty stressed and focused on playing it cool. He asked me to empty my pockets and go to the bathroom on his left to rinse my hands. After that he made me pick a cup to pee in, told me to go to the bathroom on his right to take the test. He told me the whole schpeel about not flushing or turning on the sink, said I had 5 minutes, and I was alone. I quickly went to the toilet and undid my pants and checked the temp of the piss. It was at just about 98. I quietly undid the clips (I recommend practicing at home, don't want it to make a sound or even worse, getting a clogged tube or something like that where you can get the pee out) and I emptied the bladder into the cup and squeezed the rest into the toilet. I looked at the temp on the cup and it read 94. I was worried about the temp getting too low so I quickly re-clipped the bladder (still making sure it's silent), buttoned up my pants, and walked out and handed the guy the piss. He poured it into some little tubes, had me sign and initial some stuff (my hand was so shaky), I saw he checked "Yes" for the question asking if the sample was between 90 and 100 degrees, which eased my nerves, and I was on my way.
    So now all I had to do was stress. And stress. And stress and stress and stress. I kept researching synthetic urine and reread all of the articles I read like 5 times which sort of helped calm me down. I mean it was SUPPOSED to work. It HAD to. So after a few days of constant worry and one sleepless night (had the test on Thursday and they didn't get back to me until the following Tuesday) they contacted me and told me I got the job! I was so relieved. I had totally prepared for them to call me saying something about how the sample I gave was not comparable with human urine or something like that and I was prepared to play dumb and to even fake cry if I had to (no one wants to hear a guy cry) to get another test, which I was pretty sure I could pass with my own piss, but there was no need to THANK GOD.
    So I just want this to calm anyone's nerves about using synthetic urine, in May of 2014, IT STILL WORKS. I would definitely recommend using the Monkey Whizz Kit, too. It's comfortable, easy to hide and use, and works. The hardest part is keeping the temperature right, which isn't even that hard. Just avoid checking it every five minutes since that's supposed to cool it off and just make sure it's at least in the high 90s. So stop stressing, I know you are. I did like 20 hours worth of research before/after taking this test and using synthetic urine still seems like a better way to pass a drug test than dilution or substitution with a friend's urine.
    Here's the rundown of my experience:
    Lab: Quest Diagnostics
    Method: Substitution
    Brand: Serious Monkey Bizzness Whizz Kit
    Test taken: Pre-employment Urine Analysis (unobserved)
    Taken on: Thursday
    Answer on: The following Tuesday (5 days)
    Pass/Fail: PASS!!!
    Good luck out there.

  2. #2 BurnAFewDown, Jun 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 4, 2014
    Looooooong ass post. Didnt read, nice job if it worked
  3. Woow, just to let you know for anyone dumb enough to try it, it does not work. My homie bashir robel failed
    That home depot drug test shit. Fuck off
  4. Step 1) dip nuts in op's mouth
    Step 2) success!!
  5. @[member="JuicyJaydon"] Haha I guess I was dumb enough to try it and I was dumb enough to get a really great job using it. I don't know where you live but I have heard of some states "testing" for synthetic urine, though not much evidence to prove it, but most states do not.
  6. Congrats, man! In the time it took me to read your post, the THC cleared my system, but this is helpful info for peeps. 
  7. What state do you live in? Does the product you use contain uric acid or no?
    Congrats! I just passed a pre-employment drug screen using quick fix 5.7.1 without uric acid in Illinois. My test was on the same day too! (5/29).

    I definitely recommend using synthetic urine if your UA is unobserved.

    Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
  8. @[member="jtoke90"] I'm in Texas. I'm actually not totally sure if it does have uric acid or not. I hear that uric acid has a shorter shelf life and has to be mixed in right before your test, which mine didn't it came already in liquid form so probably not. Congrats to you too! Glad to hear someone else had success using synthetic urine!
  9.   Thanks!  Ya, it's probably the most nerve-racking and dishonest thing I have ever done…But boy, does it feel good to land a good job by cheating the system :)
  10. That home depot drug test shit. Fuck off
  11. Thanks for sharing your story. I read it all. I'm going for a drug test next week for a really good job I've wanted for a long time. I'm trying as best as I can to clean my own system but I doubt that will happen. I'm planning on doing everything you did but with the whiz kit and with real urine. Sounds exactly like the monkey whiz though.
  12. Testclear powdered urine kit worked for me a bunch of times. True story
  13. i have allways used synthetic urine to pass unobserved drug screens. never one time did i get caught or fail in any way. i used to keep a synthetic kit in my car in case i got hurt at work. just follow the directions and do a little research on the interwebs on how other people have done it. soooo damn easy once you get the hang of it / done it at least one time.
  14. Just used a synthetic called xstream. Never heard of it till today and haven't read more than 2 reviews online. Anyone hear of this product? Will post with an update this week on results.

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  15. I'm looking to get this good job also and I'm hoping quick fix works I've heard it does I'm just nervous about getting caught or it not working

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  16. #16 The Green Knight, Aug 6, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2014
    Worked beautiful for me last year... As long as the temp is correct when you test, and no one is peeking!

    Journal Link:

    ...Lifted a Mile High :D
  17. Lol Kool thanks man

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  18. Lol Ontario is in near Fontana and Pomona its like 30 minutes away from San Bernardino but I don't live there no more I live in Tempe Arizona now

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  19. I have to hand it to this and a few other forums for getting me through the prep, test,wait and successful outcome of a pre-employment drug test. Thanks a bunch to "whateveryousay" and that long story about how you prep'd and all the research..OK So Here's my abbreviated experience - California, August.
    Dream job came up, interviews nailed it ! paperwork in progress, notified a week in advance about screen, sudden panic. 6'0 230, husky but some fat, almost daily smoker, last 20 years, No way i'm going to clean up in that time. People, I highly stress that you don't take some of the more foolish advice in drinking tremendous amounts of this or that, detox, some idiot suggest drinking alive - don't kill yourself to a get a job, what would be the point ? OK, so settled on substitution as product..
    for all the same reasons that others have selected testclear, I wanted real urine and did not have a local alternative supply to draw upon, so I opted to by the testclear kit and hope for the best.
    I also had an initial list of test locations that included labcorp. I opted for labcorp as there are lots of threads about people testing there so I had the protocol down, and since this is a unsupervised test, thought it would be ok. 3 days before the target date I had suggested for the test, they gave me a new, different list of test places - and labcorp was not an option !!! It was either at a hospital (OMG !!!) or a mom-and-pop place, medical services practice.
    I chose the mom-and-pop place for fear of the hospital would be more, I don't know, thorough? clinical, But now I would be going to a little place with no info on the net about it. I feared they would make me jump, frisk me, put on a gown, piss a bunch more than I was prepared to alive..nervous wreck at times.
    So, got the kit, filled the tube with warm water, put it in the taint area and practices..checking temp was staying at 98-99 consistently.
    The day of the test, I filled the tube up halfway with warm water. I used a digi thermometer to test tap water until it registered 105 degrees.I filled the tube up half way with 105 water.
    Next I pored the entire contents of the powdered urine in the tube. Some stuck inside the container so I add water to and shook it to get the residue, and poured it in the storage tube. Shook vigourously for about 10 seconds, looked, still some floating particles, continued to shake - foamed like crazy in the tube..let foam settle, all clear. Add water to the top of the tube.
    Note: the tube has a gradient scale on it that tops out at 50ml. If you fill the tube to the very top, it adds about another 9nl and delution is not a problem, so I filled it to the very top to get extra in case the mom and pop demanded more.
    Also, if you don't fill it up to the very top, you can hear it sloshing if you have to jump, which at this point I didn't know. I also got paranoid and brought an visene bottle full of extra liquid just in case !
    I checked side temp and it was about 99, then I put it under the crotch - no toe warmers needed -  and drove 40 mins to the center.
    Upon arrival, I parked on a side street and examined temp - perfect - between 98-99. Put it back in pace, strolled in, signed in, made kind smile and friendly disposition. Took a seat in a waiting room alone. 5 mins later, lead into a hallway and to a bathroom, with sink blocked and signs about not washing hands and not flushing toilet. There was a counter outside the bathroom and she gave me the cup - strip on bottom denoting how much to give - strip was horizontal on cup, low - aprox 45ml.
    She closed the door and was immediately outside the door. No fan in bathroom.
    So I immediately removed the tube, poured the contents in the cup, temp at 97 after pour, set it on the shelf,  pulled out the hog, let fly some whiz for 3 seconds, made the noise as it were, zipped and popped open the door. Whole thing took less than a minute, morel like 30 seconds.
    She put a lid, I washed my hands asked "how'd I do?" innocently, she said "just fine". She put the sample in a container, I signed the sticker, and that was it.
    Now, the wait. It took 5 grueling days to get the results back, that jumped over a weekend - yikes. In the end, the results came back clean !!! and I passed the test, got the job..
    Test clear powdered uring is absolutely real uring. when I was mixing it it was pee alright - foam and smell. color..just perfect..made me hyper-confident. And I didn't need the tow warmers either.
    If you have to pass a pre-emp screen unsupervised, this is the way to do it. I swear to you I have no affiliation with testclear, just a schlepp with a test that I needed to pass - all on the line - testclear did the job..

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