I've been enrolled in a few of them, the most recent being a result of a DUI conviction that occurred when the cops decided they'd fill their quota for the month and arrest someone who wasn't doing any drugs, let alone smoking pot, that day. Why, you ask? Because I failed a roadside sobriety test. That's it. So, lesson learned, I guess. Of course, pot showed up in my urine, and the justice system reared its ugly, moronic head and slapped me with a "one year conditional discharge," the requirements of which were that I had to attend a substance abuse program an hour a day for 3-6 months. It's been excruciating so far. The program is filled with unsophisticated urban types who routinely call each other "******." The only amenities to speak of are cups of lukewarm coffee. My counselor doesn't know who Nietzsche is, etc. etc. Granted, it's been nice getting off the pot for the last couple of months, but the little THC man in my brain is calling out for a remembrance of things past. "C'mon, let's do it," he says, to which I reply, "No, you moron. We'll go to jail or rehab if we do that right now." Can anyone relate?