Submitted to Erowid Experience Vaults

First acid experience, sorry if it's a little long and spelling is a bit off. Hope it's entertaining to old acid heads or at least enlightening to curious potential heads...

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In late July of 2008, I acquired LSD in the form of 2 "smarties" candy, exact microgram dosage is unknown. This was my first experience with LSD.

Mindset: I had a very complex mindset at the time. I was dealing with depression that comes with working a minimum wage job and not really having anything to look forward to. I had taken to pondering my place in the universe, and why I was really in the world. I had thoughts that I would describe as "out there". For example, thoughts that the universe completely dissolved when you closed your eyes, places did not exist when you could not see them (neither did people), and the constant thought of life being a hallucination. To make it worse, I had been having suicidal thoughts in the past month and a half; I still don't want to live past 40. Despite all of these obvious warning signs NOT to trip on acid (I had done my research), as soon as an opportunity to acquire acid presented itself, I jumped.

Setting: My house and later the neighborhood around it. Parents were gone, one at work, one out of town. Uncle was home, but he was upstairs in my room working on replacing a light fixture and that gave me a good 6 hours to myself.

Recently used substances: Daily cannabis user for the past 2 weeks, 720mg of DXM one week before in one sitting, 2 pills of MDMA (exact dosage unknown) consumed the night before, caffeine used at least every 12 hours for the past 9 months.

9:30AM (T+0)-I have arrived home from spending night from friends house and am excited to try acid. I view it as the quintessential psychedelic, erowid even describes it as "the psychedelic which all others are compared against". I am feeling depressed because of reduced serotonin levels (ecstasy comedown), but not enough to steer me away from the smarties. I put one smartie in my mouth, chew, let sit in mouth for ~30 seconds and swallow.

10:45AM (T+1:15)-Feeling body high, the depression is gone, and generally I am feeling great. No hallucinations at this point, and nothing really stands out as being "weird". Just feeling great body high, but slightly dissappointed at lack of effects. I decide to consume other smartie in the exact same way as first.

11:00AM (T+1:30)-I misjudged the effects, the first dose is really starting to set in, but I am not worried or scared, I feel confident that I can suppress this psychedelic if the need to do so arises. I am watching Stephen Colbert, and this guy is FUNNY. I am now convinced I am coming up as I look at the rug beneath me and the patterns are ever so slightly rearranging themselves, all in all, it looks pretty cool, but I'm not tripping that hard.

11:30AM (T+2:00)-Second pill is starting to kick in, but I'm pissed. I expected acid to be a mind blowing experience that would change me, but since I've dosed, I've had better thought patterns with high amounts of cannabis. I decide to leave the house and walk down to river with about 2 grams of medium potency bud. I smoke 3 bowls to myself by the river in my homemade bong (Vault bottle+Socket), I feel really relaxed, but the trip is changing, becoming more intense, I'm getting really excited as I feel the cannabis high, but I'm tainted with a head full of acid.

11:15AM (T+2:15)-Walking back from river on trail back to house, the bud is really starting to kick in, as is often the case with me and bongs. Blackberry bushes are a huge problem in my area and as I am walking up the trail, the blackberry leaves are morphing into mushroom caps....and so the trip begins.

11:30AM (T+2:30)-Holy shit, the bud really set off the acid. I am sitting in my backyard in a chair. We do not have a grass backyard, but pavers. All along the pavers there is a paisley pattern that is constantly moving and flowing along the stone, like a kind of life force, I am amazed and fascinated. My vision at this point has been distorted with a lime green sheen that extends to every object I look at. The trees are swaying with a supernatural wind that I can safely assume was a hallucination as whereever I went outside during the trip, trees were blowing like a goddamn hurricane was going through the area, but I could still differentiate between real and hallucinations. Auditory hallucinations begin, real sounds are amplified to uncomfortable levels while hallucinated sounds leave me pondering the authenticity of them. I sit in my chair marvelling at the patterns unfolding themselves along the side of the house and pavers while listening to music that seemed to penetrate my soul and perfectly complemented my environment.

12:00PM (T+2:30)-I retreat downstairs into the living room, seeking a safe environment in my mental state. I temporarily forget my uncle is in the house and am now completely obesessed watching the patterns on the rug move, shake, and twist to the sound of my music. The rug raises itself off the ground in a pattern that looks like the shape rain makes as it falls on a lake, the series of ripples from the epicenter is unmistakable and completely awe inspiring, I am now convinced acid is the greatest drug I have ever taken. As soon as I think "acid", I remember my head and that I can think, this could have been my biggest mistake as I now spiraled into a bad trip.

12:10 (T+2:40)-I'm starting to freak out, the trip has become extremely intense and my thoughts are running a mile a minute. I think of the word "acid", and immediately in my mind I can focus on each individual letter to the extreme. The little hole in the center of the "d" becomes a hole through which I can rub the edges and admire the curvature. Time dilations begin and I cannot tell if I spent 5 seconds or 5 minutes thinking about the "d" and the thought pattern it created. My mind starts bringing up my problems at the time and I start worrying that my environment is a complete hallucination. I have been doing things that I can't remember or were completely destroyed by hallucinations. I might have already talked to my uncle and been caught, but am hallucinating that I'm still in the living room. At this point I'm really tripping hard. I fight with my mind about life being a hallucination, the universe being a lie, and all that I see out of my own eyes as being some warped twisted chemical disaster that I will never get myself out of. I am fucked for life. At this point I am desperate to drag myself out of these thought patterns, but it is extremely difficult. I write the date down on a piece of paper, including hour, minute, day, month and year. I TRY to tell myself that the trip ends in 8-12 hours, but it's no use, I have entered the peak of the trip.

12:15 (T+2:45)-I need to get out the house and away from this chaos that has been created. I cannot get into my room, my sancutuary, where I could lie on my bed and enjoy myself. My uncle is still working upstairs. I remember that my aunt has gone out of town for the week and her house is empty and I can go there. I start to go upstairs, but my shoes are not where they are supposed to be, I walk around the middle floor in 3 circles, muttering to myself, still convinced that my schizophrenia has finally kicked in, I'll be in the madhouse in 10 years still with the same effects I'm feeling now and with ABSOLUTELY no chance at getting out. I'm paranoid, my perception of the world as reality is hanging by a thread, and I cannot find my GODDAMN SHOES. Finally, I realize I need to go down those lime green stairs and get my shoes in the garage, all the while flies are buzzing around me, casting their sweet song of buzzing into my ears. I savor the sound, I break it apart, I analyze it and translate it into foreign languages, because I can speak those foreign languages.

12:30 (T+3:00)-Out of the house and walking towards my aunts house. The paisley is now flowing like a river along the road and sidewalk, graffiti patterns in the forms of arrows are twisting and directing themselves a way that is now completely natural and understood to me, hell I dealt with that hallucination like 2 hours, or 3 minutes ago. The hurricane is raging around me like it's actually happening. And I'm the crazed acid head walking down the street, muttering to myself, 80% insane, questioning the validity of everything I've thought, while the lime green sky casts the essence of life, light, down on me.

1:00 (T+3:30)-I ended up at McDonalds, about a half mile from my house, and very close to my aunt's house. The walk here was a spiritual cleansing in which I finally freed myself from the bad trip by remembering the time that trip would be over. It had not been easy as I was convinced that I was hallucinating the world and everyone in it, I had extremely complex thoughts at this point in the trip, and I'm sure I formed new opinions and outlooks on life during the walk...BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT!!!!!! MUST REMEMBER TO BRING NOTEBOOK NEXT TIME!!! Ordering food at McDonalds is a task. I ordered the two cheeseburger meal, but the cashier was convinced they didn't have it until the manager came and figured it out, all the while I blabbered about how I wanted the meal over and over. Walking to a table with my food, I have my clearest acid inspired thought..."This room feels LOUD", not sounds, but feels. It was a truly awe inspiring thought, even though it may seem not so special now, it was spiritual. The cheeseburgers were not completely unappetizing, but it was definently a chore to eat them and try to look normal while the sauce moved around inside the bun and the grainy pattern on the table was blowing around like the Sahara.

1:30 (T+4:00)-I completely put myself in "good trip" mode at McDonalds by setting one simple ground rule for myself. Be home by 3:00PM. I was checking my watch every two minutes to make sure I was going to reach the deadline, this was essential as I wanted to stay in the good trip mode. As I left McDonalds I had the fleeting thought to tackle my previous emotional problems from before I had tripped. As I thought about it, I realized it had been like paddling upstream when I was sober. But when I was on acid, it was like walking it was so easy to sort through the emotions and such. Unforunatly, I was distracted by the patterns that were in the street again, and proceeded to make my way to my aunts house with my eyes literally glued to the street. I started to feel like I could control the trip more, and it wasn't the mess of emotions, thoughts, and visual anomolies it was a couple hours earlier. I now realize I was starting to come down.

2:00 (T+4:30)-Walked past my aunts house, but freaked out when I saw both of her cars were home and I was convinced she was home. Walked down to river where I would say the best part of the trip happened. I sat on a log, listened to music, and hallucinated to the ripples cast by the sun on the water. It was a divine experience. The wind was still blowing like I was in the center of a cyclone, but I was used to it, and it wasn't hurting me at all, so I was ok with it, and it was ok with me.

I'm going to stop the experience here as the rest of the experience consisted of me at the river from ~2:15-3:00, which during this time I came down quite a bit. I was relatively fine when I arrived home, and was baseline by the next morning. All in all, the experience was borderline religious (I'm still agnostic ha), and changed the way I perceive reality, I am now fully in grasp of myself, even though the first hour after smoking I felt I was mentally wrecked. The most powerful substance I have ever consumed, and I plan on consuming LSD again. Hopefully I don't become insane!!! Happy tripping.