Stupid/Funny dealer stories

I sold tea, honey, and sugar to a bunch of middle schoolers.

Easy $300. Stay off drugs, kids.

 

That's pretty dick.

 

I got mugged 120$ of my money and 70$ of my friends money as well as my 100$ bong.. Last night. Top it

 

I was buying a QP and he said it was 14 in the morning then 12 in the afternoon. Then when i bought off him he gave me a free extra half O. Random hook-up ay

 

There was this guy I bought from throughout last summer who was pretty sketchy and indiscreet. One time when I bought from him, he was squirming around with one of his eyes closed and paranoid as hell. He bid me farewell with a "stay safe" minutes later, he texted me apologizing. Looking back, he was probably into some pretty heavy-duty unmentionables.

 

My friend got ripped off $700 in a bad deal then I totaled my car in a white out on the way back from the shitty deal. maybe 3 days ago. Top that

 

Somewhere in South Carolina, a bunch of middle schoolers now have cancer after smoking a mixture of tea, honey, and sugar.

 

I got this new connect that I met once and seemed pretty legit but I forgot about him for the longest time. Then I called him for a gram. Met him at McDonald's. He was drunk as hell and on some painkillers because of his foot. I stood there for like 5-10 minutes listening to how bad his foot hurt. Then he showed it to me. Yuck. Time after that, same thing happened. And he showed me his foot... again. It was so weird. He had good product though.

 

Like a year ago, my usual dealer went to new hampshire for something ( ) and I didnt have any connects really at the time.. So I got a number from a friend and I called the guy asking to buy an eighth of kush. Guy said he had alot of different strains and to come check them out... So I picked up my friend and we went to his house. When we pulled into the driveway, i texted him and told him we're out front, and he said hold on he'd come out with some and get in the back... A minute later, here comes this super fat little mexican midget. At the time I was already high because my friend blew a blunt with me on the way, and I could not stop laughing, even when he got in the car, here I was with a 3 foot midget named Papi Chulo who sold drugs, in my car, and I could not stop laughing.. the guy sat there for maybe a couple seconds, then got out and went back inside. I didn't even try to get ahold of him again, and I went without weed for the night. But it was soo fucking funny

TL;DR - Midget dealer

 

How'd you manage this?

 

So i've known this guy from high school. He's always wearing jordan shit, baggy jeans, always going for that "hard" look. Well i hit him up for some flame, says he is at a friends house, and tells me how to get there. Well i get there, and he says pull in back cause they have this separate shed thing. Now this friend of his, kinda lives on a farm, has like chickens and shit. Well my dude gets out of the little house, and I see him peak his head around. I'm watching him and I can tell he spotted the chicken cuz he looked fear stricken. This dude fuckin trys juking out the chicken, slips his plant foot, and goes straight into the mud. He quick gets up and sprints to my passenger door and hops in. When he gets in he's all breathing hard and shit, he goes "don't tell anyone about that". I couldn't stop laughing, he gave me the bag, money switcharoo. He doulbe takes back and forth, and sprints out my car straight into the house he came from. It was so funny at the time, cause everyone thought of him as hard, and like tough and shit. too funny

TL;DR "hard" dealer tried juking out a chicken, slipped in mud and told me not to tell anyone.

 

I knew a girl like that when I was in school.
She stole it from her dad and would trade like a whole 8th for a pack of cigs, ha dummy

Edit: it was schwag, but it was still an 8th for 3.50/4$ cuz it was back when smokes were still cheap ha.

 

When I was in High School I used to go to the local "ghetto" to pick up ounces from this hood rat.

One time the kid had us meet in a Kroger parking lot, so were in the parking lot and he calls us asking where we are, what kind of car were in, etc.

Well, after I tell him what kind of car we were in, he said, "I seeya, you guys lookin' hot."

To which I replied, "Hey man, you look nice today too."

This kid busted out laughing, hung up, and opened the door and hopped in.

It was funny because up until that point he acted so hard, and clearly my goofy-white-boyness had cracked his rough, street-hardened exterior.

 

what did you buy? rego? .2 more really isnt that good of a deal, now if you got nugs i would be saying "pic or didnt happen"

 

When i was in 8th grade, me and my friends put in all our money to buy weed. The guy we were buying off of sold us tea and honey. ._.

 

*walks in dealers house* he hands me sack, i hand him cash, and ask to get his extra rello for a 1$, he says ill buy a lighter from you for a 1$ then you can buy my rello. then i run out to grab a bic, he says its empty, go get another one, the fuckers in his living room dancing for his wife, i think he was higher than me.

 

I walked to dealer/ friends room at school and knock. His girl answers "he's not here." He got up and was like I'm here what's up? She looked pissed it was funny.

 

You don't live in South Carolina do you?

 

One time my dealer ran over my drunk ass friend that was sitting on the side walk lol