I'm sorry for how long it is, I would've posted it on some other type of forum but I've found most tend to be full of bitter old hags. Plus it's weed relevant Before posting all the details, I should mention that I currently live in a somewhat toxic environment (I live with my dad, who is an extreme hoarder with severe PTSD and somewhat nuts) and the town I live in is VERY small, full of drugs and people who I'm sick of/are fake as fuck (I know that sounds really negative, obviously some cool people are here, but this isn't an exaggeration lol). Anyways, I set a goal for myself to move to Portland since I love it there About a month ago, my friend moved in with me after getting kicked out of her house. Our original plan was she'd come up here, we'd both work full time, and then after saving money we'd move out together this summer. I hadn't seen her in awhile when I said she could stay with me and didn't realize that every single bad habit that I myself have, she has as well only ten times worse. Right before she moved in with me, I was working towards actively improving myself after almost a year of being stuck in a depressed, terrible rut. I've been trying to be more positive, smoke less weed, and be more active about getting things done. However she is VERY negative and judgmental, smokes weed all day and literally never wants to do anything but sleep. Even though I'm aware the town I live in sucks, she came from the city so she complains about it constantly which only makes it all worse. Although another person's behavior is no excuse for my own, it's been really hard to motivate myself with her intense energy pushing me in the opposite direction. Right when I was about to kick her out, she finally got a job and started cooking/cleaning more, so that's cool I guess. Still, there are several issues. Due to her anti-social nature, everyone she knows is through me, including weed connects. So whenever she wants weed, she asks me to hit people up for her. If they don't text back, she bitches hardcore (not at me, but just about how annoying it is). As someone who NEEDS to cut back to make more life progress, I don't really give a shit if we go a day or two without weed. Also, when she first came here from the city, it was understood that within a month or so after getting here she'd be visiting her parent's house to retrieve her car (the drive is 12 hrs so she didn't drive it here originally). However her parents (whose name the car is under) have decided they changed their mind, which means we are stuck sharing my one single car. I don't mind this as a temporary situation, but now there's no way we'd both be able to have full-time jobs and save up to move out together. Basically, our initial plan now has a giant obstacle. Anyways, I told my mom about all this (she lives in a different state) and she generously offered to pay for an apartment for me in Portland for one single month until I get a job (after that I'm on my own). I'm miserable where I live and want to leave ASAP, but I'd basically be pulling the rug out from under my friend. She JUST got a job and hasn't lived here very long, and it makes no sense for her to come with me to Portland without her car. Her mom said that if she needs to go back home she can but she clearly doesn't want to. I've tried pointing these issues out so she'd conclude that going back makes the most sense on her own, and even told her if she needs to go back and doesn't like it here I won't be offended. It doesn't seem she took the hint though. I know she sounds bad but she's also been there for me many times and I don't want to burn a bridge. What should I do/I need some insight? (Thanks to anyone who actually read all that shit...)
How about letting her move in the apt with you in Portland ? She can use city transportation like buses to get to work...Then she could help you with the rent also.
True, I guess part of me doesn't want her negative attitude to come with me to Portland. Though I'm not sure that's wise to tell her or how to do so. Plus my mom is only willing to pay for a 1 BR but I could offer her the couch I guess
I remember your friend was smoking all your weed at one point, sounds like she does your head in. Maybe you aint the same people anymore and need to go your separate ways. Just tell her you need to do whats right for you and moving is whats right, if I was your friend I wouldnt stop you I would just sort myself out. Unless you want her to move with you.
@[member="queenofnugs"] perhaps it's better that you both go your separate ways to save the friendship. Get out of that town go to Portland and start your new life. say hey I'm moving so you're going to have to find a place to live, give her advance notice so she has time to make arrangements Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Foruma
Tough situation. IMO you need to do you. Although it's shitty to pull the rug underneath her I think you should confront her attitude problem. She's bringing you down emotionally. That's very toxic. If she was able to using public transportation in Portland that would be the best until she's able to save enough money to actually buy her own car.
I'd normally bring insight into the discussion, but at this point I can't help but picture you two fighting and ripping each others' clothes off. lol anyway.. I wish I could help you there, this is a situation I don't have experience with, other than the fact that I don't have a rec, and my only connects are my friends. Lol, I try to tough it out and only ask them every once in a while. Have you tried being like: "we don't need weed right now, let's go out and have fun!"? Kinda sounds like she has self esteem issues though I could be totally wrong.