Storytime!

This is one of my favs from the glory days at Yahooka. Names were changed to protect the innocent.







One time this hippee dude ate some acid. It was good acid. And he was going to drive back to where he was from, because he was'nt where he was from right then, and figured he needed to get back to where he was from, 'cause everything was kinda weird in the big city and him bein a country hippee dude that was where he was goin.

Ya with me so far?

So he climbed in his beloved Chevy truck that had carried him over many a mile, and sometimes found it's way home all by itself cause the country hippee dude was too busy bein asleep to drive, and he started out of the big city.


While racing all the other lemmings in their shiny metal boxes down the interstate, listening to Frank Zappa extoll the virtues of the state of Montana's dental floss, He did'nt notice that the faithful steed seemed to be smoking a bit. At first he thought it was just the acid fucking with him. Then he figured out that something must be malfunctioning. It was easy to figure that out when the flames started coming out from under the hood. The country hippee found a place to bail out and did so. Not really knowing what to do he stood by and painfully watched his old friend go up in flames. He knew the authority figures would arrive soon as it is very hard to conceal a burning truck. He was a bit amazed at how the law officer thought he had done this on purpose!
He would never burn down one of his best friends, unless he needed it!

After a fair amount of browbeating, the law officer took the country hippee to the bus station, and warned him not to burn down any more trucks in HIS city.

Acid is not the preferred drug for a bus station, I don't even know if there is a preferred drug for a bus station, but if there was, I'm sure it would'nt be acid!

The country hippee was relieved to see that he did'nt have to sit by anybody. He plopped down in the seat knowing that in 2 hours he would be home. Imagine his chagrin when he figured out that the bus did'nt go down the interstate but wandered thru every little town and backwater between the big city and his home!

At the 2nd stop he was alarmed to see a very large black woman wedging her way between the seats, straight for him! OH NO!

She squeezed into the seat next to him. The country hippee decided he was going to look out the window the rest of the way. It might help keep him from screaming.

Later on, he was pulled back to reality by the rustling of a potato chip bag. The great blob of black woman had pulled out her barbeque chips. He looked back at his window not wanting to see the carnage that was about to take place. He waited and waited for the terrible crunching sound to begin. It never did. When the suspense finally got to him, he turned and looked at her.


She was'nt eating them.

She was licking all the barbeque stuff off of them.

And putting them back in the bag.


When the country hippee finally got home, he kissed the ground and swore many oaths that never again would he do acid, only to break them all the next weekend.

And they all lived happily ever after.

 

Now Poppa, do you really think that any of you Bamaian's can show us Sooners anything that we have'nt been through already?


Don't you remember the days of Barry "I forgot the gun was in my suitcase" Switzer? Them was the good ol' days! The offense could'nt huddle up because they were'nt allowed near other known felons. Most convictions per capita of any Division I team!


You think amateurs scare us?


I saw Sports Illustrated picked them #1 this year. Usually the kiss of death. But they're gonna have a KILLER defense this year.



Hope them 'Tide boys got insurance!


Also hope the blood don't kill the grass!

See you Sept. 7th.