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Storing clean, frozen urine (yes I read the sticky post)

Discussion in 'Seasoned Marijuana Users' started by shadymaniaaa, Aug 15, 2016.

  1. #1 shadymaniaaa, Aug 15, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2016
    Hi all,

    I apologize in advance for the long post and I did read the sticky on drug testing, but I wanted to start my own thread because I have my own specific questions that I really need help on. I am a relatively new smoker (posted in this forum because I need advanced advice lol), and have absolutely fallen in love with it. Having OCD, being high gives me the feeling of being absolutely relaxed, it chills me out, calms me down after a bad day, so on and so forth. Long story short, it's not something I want to give up.

    I work in a career field where I was drug tested before beginning my job (where I work part time; started in March 2015). I knew that random drug tests were a possibility, but thought they were something that was only a policy on paper and not enforced since I had never had it done or had heard of anyone else having one. Last week I found out that two coworkers have been given random drug tests; one a month or so ago, and one just last week. As I have been smoking pretty regularly (almost every day), I have decided to stop until I figure things out and am not happy about it.

    As I said, I'm not willing to stop smoking, but at the same time, I'm very worried how this will affect my job/career. I can't just switch jobs, as this is what I do for a living, and any position that I will have will have this sort of requirement (health care type of business), and additionally, I currently work for a large conglomerate that if I were to get fired for drugs, I feel would really fuck up my future. My parents were fine with me smoking, but once they heard about the testing have been insistent on me stopping, and I'm not sure if the risk of me continuing is worth ruining my future.

    That being said, one of my best friends does not smoke and I have been researching the option of freezing her clean urine. I have a couple of questions for those of you that know anything about it, have done it, or have gone through any drug tests successfully.

    1) My friend is prescribed Adderall.. do most of these random drug tests test for those sort of things (prescriptions) or only for illegal drugs? I'm on a slew of prescriptions that my work obviously doesn't know about for my OCD and migraines, and they didn't say anything on my pre-employment screening, so I'm not sure if they didn't test for them or just didn't care or what.

    2) Obviously it will differ from place to place, but I have heard of situations where they actually will watch you go to the bathroom, which would make it hard to use someone else's urine. Other friend's told me that they have had success with keeping the clean urine in a condom against their leg to retain the body temperature and pouring that into the specimen cup to simulate the sound of peeing... this is something else I would worry about if I was tested because if I was using a the clean urine and pouring it into the cup there would be no sound of urine actually hitting the water in the toilet. I also read about a belt sort of contraption you can buy.

    3) How long does the urine last if stored? I told my friend I would pay her if she would give me a clean sample every month. I read the best way to store it is in air tight container and then tin foil and then in your freezer at the lowest setting, then when you go to warm it up, put it in a bowl of hot water, never a microwave, shake it to get rid of any crystals, run it through a white coffee filter if need be, and you can use your car heater to warm it.. but how do you know exactly how warm to get it? Use a thermometer? How much do you bring? What's the best way to conceal it? How foolproof to you think it is? (IE have any of you gotten caught, can the lab detect old pee?)

    4) How do you regulate the temperature of the urine? Urine should apparently be between 94-96 degrees... so should you heat it to about 100 degrees in your house so it can cool down to the right temperature by the time you have driven in the car and gotten to the lab? I feel like once you leave the car you're SOL, and there's no way to check it unless you pull a thermometer out and even if it's the wrong temperature you can't change it... this is the most worrisome part to me. And the pH???

    5) Lastly, I live/work in Virginia, but as everyone obviously knows, weed is legal in DC. If i ever got caught with it in my system, would I be just able to tell my employers I was in DC for the weekend and smoked? Don't know if this is a plausible excuse...

    Sorry for all the (dumb?) questions, but I'm trying to explore all my options before proceeding with this. As of right now I've stopped smoking. For all I know I could ever get drug tested, but I won't be able to smoke and enjoy it if I know I could get tested and I don't have a plan. I really can't afford to let my parents down as they are counting on me to become independent and take care of my own bills, and I'm assuming if I tested positive I would be fired. Sorry for the overthinking and paranoia. Just need to know if the risk is worth the reward.
     
  2. #2 shadymaniaaa, Aug 15, 2016
    note to self - zydot
     
  3. #3 kevin123471, Aug 18, 2016
    First of all, how do you know if you're tested that it will be a urine test and not some other kind of test, i.e. saliva or hair? The substitution method (substituting clean urine for your own) works, but if they give you a hair test, then you're fucked. At that point, tell your higher ups that you visited Colorado and smoked.

    I once pissed dirty and my employer sent me to a counselor to see if I was an addict and retested me in three weeks and then the whole affair was over. That could be the consequences of a dirty test, but you know your employer and their policies better than I do.

    If you do ever substitute some one's clean urine for your own, make sure that that person isn't taking any kind of scheduled drugs like ADHD meds, especially adderall. Adderall is methamphetamine, and most urine tests are looking for this. If you get pee from somebody, it should be a male if you're a male. And that person should not be taking anything, even prescription drugs because many tests are looking for benzodiazepines (valium, xanax), opiods (vicodin, percocet), and the aforementioned methamphetamine. Drug tests are also screening for THC/cannabanoids and cocaine. So you need to know who's peeing for you and what they're taking before you commit to that method.

    I clean out every so often, and then I piss in cups and put it in my freezer just in case.

    As for the actual drug test--urine test only--I've done roughly 40 of them in my lifetime--mostly for Dept. of Transportation clearances. As tight assed as the DOT test is, nobody ever went into the restroom with me, and it was a private bathroom. They tape up the sink, and the commode will not flush. The water is usually blue.

    To keep urine warm that you carry in with you, you'll need to buy some of those temp. strips that you can tape onto a bottle or container, and some of those hand warmer things that hunters use. You know, looks like a bing bag, when you open it and agitate it, it gives off heat.

    Put the urine in a plain condom (non lube, non spermicide). Tie it off at the end, squeezing out excess air. Using black electrical tape, tape it to your inner thigh. Put a small paper clip in your pocket or sock--you'll need something to penetrate the condom.

    This is very important--practice all of this out--do a dress rehearsal. Tape a condom of warm water against your inner thigh, get dressed, walk around, sit down, stand up, go into a bathroom and go through the process of getting the condom out, pricking it with the paper clip, pouring the contents into a cup, and then sticking all that stuff back into your pocket -- and then pee in the toilet.

    For extra heat, you can tape the handwarmer bean bag thing next to the condom full of pee also. If the pee comes out too warm, like around 110-105, then wait a few minutes to pee in the toilet allowing the pee to cool down into the 90s before giving it to the drug tester person. Just tell them you had a hard time getting a flow started--happens all the time. And don't worry about what those jackoffs think--they think everyone they're testing is positive for something.

    There are panel tests that they do these days--so many employers don't even send you to a lab. If you ever piss dirty on one of those, you have a right to a retest at a lab. Go that route.

    Of the 40 or so drug tests I've had, I only failed two, and successfully substituted in dozens of others. Whatever you do, avoid clean out products. They test for that these days.

    IF IT'S A HAIR TEST, YOU'RE FUCKED. SAY YOU WENT TO COLORADO AND SOMEBODY GAVE YOU A POT COOKIE WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE AS A JOKE.
     

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