Stopped it for a while, considering going back on it, but there's a complication

So this is a two part question.

Here's the easy question:

Topicals and sprays: Good? I have Kush Creams here, it's from a dispensary I go to in Ballard, the Ballard CCC, while the guy there isn't able to answer my questions about how much % of THC or CBD is in this or that (they don't have the testing percentages on the jars...... like Fweedom did and Fweedom moved or became a delivery since they were too close to a school, and these guys are just within walking distance. Not to mention their Raskals OG is 19 a gram. Fweedom's was 13 a gram). I have used it a little bit. I notice some effect. I get a little anxiety with it, as I do with anything Cannabis-related, because I have some anxiety with the drug. What are you experiences with it? That's question 1.

Questions 2 is this, and please, educated answers only, serious answers only. I'm not trying to be rude, but don't try to answer this if you can't take it seriously, if you can't respect it, and if you certainly don't have any understanding. Just please, it will hurt me more than it will help or be benign, if you understand what i mean.

So question 2 is:
Looking at the Psychological aspect here and the Metaphysical aspect, I think that Cannabis has a very HIGH vibration and is a very PSYCHIC plant. I've been told from energy workers and clairvoyants not to use it because it's 'torn my aura up' or it's 'not a good idea in my situation'. My situation is, if you look at the Psychological aspect, is that I have some kind of dissasociation disorder going on, and dissasociation disorders usually occur when you've just reached the peak of your anxiety and panic. On the Metaphysical side of things, your basically UNGROUNDED, your out of your body. Not like an OOBE (out of body experience). So basically I am having a hard time staying in my own head, in my body, feeling 'real' and third dimensional. I don't smoke pot. I think I took two puffs off of Raskals OG the other day. And I began to move around and draw and do stuff, but it wasn't me. This is co-cognisent (sp?) like symptoms of DID. Or rather more appropriately, Dissasociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. I am not diagnosed yet and don't want to use these labels. On the Metaphysical side of things, I am simply very ungrounded, and when I do energy exceriszes and try to ground myself, or get energy healing, I feel a lot better, and feel more here in present time.

When I was using cannabis more often for pain and inflammation for my neck and shoulders and sciatica, I did not have these problems. I am seeing an apropriate therapist that specializes in dissasociation disorders/PTSD, but it is my belief that things on the Energy/Metaphysical level are going on primarily.

So is using cannabis a good idea? has anyone in their experience, experienced channeling, psychological changing of identity while on cannabis? I know I'm covering a 'spiritual' topic and overlaping it with a medical topic relating to cannabis, but they are really truely intertwined here in my life! I am working on both the Metaphysical and Psychological levels to bring this under control. I am always conscious and mostly in control here.

Again please do not answer if you can't respect or have some educated idea of what I am talking about. This is difficult enough as I deal with doctors and clairvoyants who are throwing guesses out there, or who are exploring possibilities with me.

Thank you.

I will also ad that since I have gotten off the anti depressants and other pills that my mood has stabalized more, I am losing weight and becoming healthier and I take better care of myself. So I am much, much healthier than I was back when I was on a handful of Rx's.... those can cause Mania and Depression, of which i was also using cannabis to control. Thanks god that seems to be over.

 

That's interesting. I know that CBD really calms me down when I feel 'sped up'. But now I feel as though my body moves on it's own without my consent. Or that I am not real in this world. When I come back all of a sudden (on the metaphysical side, when a spirit releases me, or when I suddenly ground, and on the psychological jargon side, when I come out of I guess depersonalization or am no longer dissasociated..) I feel a lot of anxiety, but it's at my Chakra points, in my heart chakra point, in my solar plexus, and sacral and root points and I feel so strange and I panic a tiny bit. But I feel so solid and real. Most of the time I don't (being ungrounded, in trance)

Was your girlfriend using high THC strains or high CBD strains? I tried an Indica once and I got scared of them for some reason. So then I only stuck to Sativas when I was smoking, and then just decided to stick with Raskals OG or Hybrids. Low, low THC, and high CBD.

I hate being on medication or feeling intoxicated, I also hate feeling dissacociated or out of control of my body, so I'm not sure what to do here. I can function fairly well. I can get things done, but sometimes ITS NOT ME GETTING THESE IMPORTANT THINGS DONE. And when I "snap to" it takes me a moment to REMEMBER all of the things that I did, and I look at all the stuff I moved around as if someone else did and Im like: "oh yes, I did that" and the voice inside my head goes: "Do you remember doing that? I did that." And I remember it, because i watched it happening, through my body.

Some people with DID black out and do a bunch of stuff. Some people with DDNOS experience voices and doing stuff and they have 'fuzzy alters' If you want to look at this psychologically.

It's absolutely crazy. But it's not schitzophrenia because the only things I see are with my third eye and I know they aren't real images. I haven't smoked pot for about 4 months. I had 2 hits off of a raskals OG joint recently and then I started channeling out artwork or I 'switched' if you want to go back to psychology and started doing a bunch of stuff.

Is this just too heavy of a topic? I feel like this is really intense to be asking about and that I'm going to get really judged. I've gotten judged and harped on by people in the spiritual communities already...

 

Asthmatic, thank you.

Yes, when I look into my third eye, I get flooded with images and clairaudience from the 'beings' in my space. This might be more apropriate for a PM with you. You really understand what I am talking about.

Yes there is a lot of healing that needs to be done, but I am in a lot of pain. Topicals seem to be working well and I looked at some other things you had written. I have a lot of respect for how you use cannabis.

One thing that happens, is sometimes I feel energy infront of my face when I open my third eye, well I can't really control it, but I am very strong in that chakra. I see lots of colors.
My etheric double, when I am not channelig something (which turns white) is Indigo/dark blue!

So I have a hard time turning the channeling part OFF and this is causing dissasociation symptoms. As I have been getting aura/chakra healings and trying to ground, I am finding my PTSD coming back and I am finding myself very scared and in crying fits.

And coincidently the 'voices' tell me to smoke pot, I think it's because it makes me less likely to try to bring myself back into my body, to assert energy control over myself. I know this may sound strange to the people who don't believe or understand this, and I am still very skeptical myself. But if I put my attention in the center of my head and try to push my energy down, I find my body feeling more solid.

In meditation or even with my eyes open as I do certain 'psychic tools', I feel MYSELF SPINNING. I had this spinning sensation when I did Third eye meditations and would feel my body become like living stone. If that makes sense. Where My hands would feel 'dead weight' but still 'alive' As if my astral body part of my hands had left them.

Sometimes I am knocked out of meditation before I can finish and my eyes open and I get up and start doing stuff. There is a lot of discord in my solar plexus and crown, and a lot of dissasociation/fear in my root and sacral, I can't seem to ground into those chakras!
So that is why I am afraid to use cannabis in the form of smoking/vaping for this pain I am getting from the nerves in my neck/sciatica regions!!!!

And I could hardly sleep on Xmas eve because of my neck and lower back, but I am being bothered so badly energetically.

But I really appreciate you saying something about that! Yes they say that when you look at others, you see them through YOUR Aura, that's what we were taught!! That's so validating for me, because it's helping me be more vocal about this problem I am having.

I know I don't have psychosis or skitzophrenia. I just 'check out' of my body because I can't ground, that's what they've been telling me, but I'm still so afraid that despite doing TELEKINISES and sending a healing ball of energy through my other arm (before I got like this with the uncontrolled trance mediumship), that when I die, I won't live on as consciousness somehow.
The anxiety is getting really bad and I'm not even smoking pot!!!

I think my PTSD is flaring up or something.

And Monkey, thank you so much for the PM.

Thank you guys.
Anymore suggestions/discussion would be very helpful.

Do you think CBD and very low THC, as in the case of Raskals OG might be alright? 1-2 hits? If I really try to ground and be mindful during the drugs effect?

Kush Cream's topical seems to be helping some. Except when the pain breeches a certain threshold. That and heat seems to be helping a lot. But I can only do heat so often as prescribed.