Sometimes I hate life

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by IamODESE, May 19, 2010.

  1. When I was younger, my Mother told me how my Dad was a conniving asshole. I used to think she was just angry at him after she left him.

    But now that I'm older, all the things she said are starting to look truer.

    I don't want anything from him besides him being around.

    I don't want these dramatic stories of how hard up for cash we are.

    I don't want these stories of glorified sacrifices and whatnot.

    I don't want hypocritical conversations about "The Lord" and their lack of sentient born beliefs.

    I don't want to be nagged about going to school then be sidestepped when the bills comes into conversation.

    I don't want to be told that his new job will bring more money to pay for school.

    I don't want to be told not to try and kill myself again just because the ambulance cost a lot. Simple, don't call them next time.

    I don't want to be rich, maybe be wealthy. There's a difference.

    I just want the truth. I just want him to tell me that he's only out for himself. Everyone else is only as valuable as they are useful.

    Sometimes I hate life because people go to great lengths to deceive you, and all you want is the truth.
  2. Yep thats how life is.

    Suicide is not the answer btw.

    Save up and get far away from your family problems. maybe a few years will change it around.oi good luck
  3. he didnt say anything about suicide

  4. but he did attempt it.

    dude just realize you are the only person on this planet that you can trust and depend on. one day your father will pass and you will never have any advice about being a man. regardless of his advice being manly or not.
  5. Atleast you have a dad man.
    You don't know what you have until it's gone:(
  6. I dont talk to anyone in my family except one of my sisters...... I havent spoke to my mother in 17years.... I have only had a few conversations with my dad in that time...all extremely disapointing....

    They suck... they cant help it and are never going to they can keep that shit to themselves

    I dont even miss these people at all....

    I am just fine without them and always have been.
  7. Yeah, someday I'm going to have to tell them that their way of life has never ever worked for them. Ever. That's why they're miserable and mediocre.

    If I followed in their footsteps, I'll get nothing but the same thing.
  8. Yep, that's pretty much how everything goes...If you follow your parents foot steps you would most likely end just like them, getting all the stuff you don't want. Find the greener grass :smoke:

    BTW, in your situation, don't try to kill yourself again. For you, that's not an answer. You're being challenged by life, grab her by the horns man.
  9. I like to hit them right where they're askin' for it.
  10. Oh those suicide attempts were a couple of years ago. I would have to lose EVERYTHING if I was going to try again. Use Datura next time.

    I'm gonna do extras work for film and stuff and a bunch of other odd jobs. Then I'll move away when the time is right.
  11. dont try to kill yourself bro. what do you think will happen? there is only one life, you will NEVER get a chance to live the life you are living now ever again if you kill yourself.

    better to die an old man and get the rewards of moving on to the next dimension than wander around as a pissed off ghost.

  12. I told them both(mom and dad) off separately....They split when i was 8..

    I was 19 when I told my mom off.....Told her everything she ever did that was fucked up and I was not nice about it at all.....had her crying for 2 hours wile I chewed her ass....her boyfriend tried to step up and tell me not to talk to my mom that way....lmfao! i just laughed at him and asked if he wanted to try and back that up....he shut up and walked off....

    was a few years latter when the time came to tell my dad off....this went down much disappointed in him not pissed at I approached the whole thing differently

    but yeah they know exactly why noone hears from me.

  13. Man that sucks, I don't know what I'd do if I was estranged from my family, especially close family. My mom, dad, and brothers are all extremely close to me. I'd feel pretty lost without a family to be honest.

  14. They were never really a part of my was the type that just didnt care at all....i could do anything and get away with long as she did not have to pay any attention to me i was fine. The minuet she had to pay attention to me regardless of what it was for ( if i tried to tell her about something to do with school for instance)....i was in trouble.
    She was a crazy bitch!
    And i got to here all the stories about what a piece of shit my dad was.....
    just like the OP lots of bulshit stories.....
    I could go on for some time about this.....
    i could probably write pages about how fucked up that bitch is....

    so ....she was never really a part of my life....

    dad....he was an over the road truckdriver when they were together....
    so he wasnt around then....
    and after she left him( she was cheating on him and now 30 yrs latter is married to the guy she was cheating with)
    he usually lived in a different state then us...never tried to keep contact.
    went and lived with him when i was 15.....
    I ended up paying the bills cus he couldn't...i was 15 and made more money then him.....
    he just sucks.....
    he had the potential to be so much more and wasted it!
    he got all heart broken over my mom leaving him and let it ruin the rest of his life....
    so yeah more disappointed in him then anything

    I raised myself.....
    im not missing out on anything at all
  15. OP try to put yourself in your dads shoes.
    I obviously don't know your situation but it sounds like your dad does care about you.
    Your frustrations are normal and they will only make you a stronger person in the end.
  16. This is a great example of parental alienation.

    Maybe you should spend some time with your father, without your mother around...
  17. My Dad's an idiot. He's literally withering away by the second but he keeps eating the worst shit you can eat. He don't even exercise.

    He's always been chasing the dragon, but spoilers: You can never catch it.

    Always trying to get that money. Them dollars. That Jesus. Never mind the family.

    It's just like the dingusus, my Pops could've been something but he just keeps fucking up.

  18. Believe me I totally hear where you are coming from....

    my old man has spent the last 20 years sitting in a room smoking cigarettes and complaining about everything in his life..most of this time he has also been unemployed..wile doing nothing to try and change anything....he spent 8 years before that in the bottom of a bottle.

    This is a man who was a green beret in Vietnam,who when my mom left him he owned his own trucking business.

    When I was 15-16 I lived with him. I know he knows better...but still he chooses to be nothing....

    My oldest kid is 16 I have 5 (one is step but mine none the less) Not once has any of my children gotten so much as a birthday card from any of these people who are supposed to be my parents.....

  19. In the end you will be just fine.
    You seem to be smart enough to learn from all this what you can and move on.

    in the end it is them who will suffer not you.

    When you are long gone, They will be alone. They wont even have you to try and get attention from anymore.
    then in their misery they will sit and gnaw on themselves until nothing is left but the misery they feed upon.

    You will find that enduring all this can do one of two things for you in your life. It can make you stronger then both of them put together and better able to deal with your life then they ever dreamed of being.
    Or you can let them drag you into their misery
    Its up to you.

    But if you walk out the door and never look have no one to answer to for that but yourself.
    If it is what you feel is your best option, then you should go for it.
    If I have half as good an understanding of what you are going through as I think I do....I have a feeling you will eventually go this route.

    I can tell you that every few years i try and talk to my old only take one or two conversations, with him saying the same shit he has been saying for years now, for me to see that nothing has changed and to be reminded that it likely never will.
  20. Thanks man. I can't even talk to my Pops about anything now. He's stuck with a tunnel vision mindset, it's pretty pointless to try and share anything real with him.

    I mean, he's not completely dead beat. He's a low paid nurse and he's trying to get a rank up through school. But what I mean is, he's been fucked over in life so much that I guess he just stopped getting up. My pops was in the Philippine Military while the rest of his family moved to Hawaii.

    He's comfortable with his rich girlfriend but I know that at the end of the day, he knows he's taking one of the minimum routes in life. He tries and he means well, but his judgment is too clouded with fiscal matters that he forgets about the human side of it. About us.

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