So, I'm a single father raising a 5 yr old little girl. . . I send my daughter to catholic school for fear of the local public schools. . .I am Buddhist. . .10 yrs practicing. . . 2 weeks ago, my grandmother passed, her great-grandmother. So we had to have to the death conversation. . .unfortunately her church has already provided some ideas like heaven and such, so I am limited for the time being in explaining death in any realist way as I would like to. . .but she's too young I think. . .So she really didn't ask many questions then so I let it go. . .Tonight she asked if Mia was in heaven (Mia her GGM). . .I hesitated a little. . .but on the quick went with "Yes baby. . .Mia's in heaven. . ." and I had such a low sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I just betrayed myself. . .She continued to talk about nothing, as little girls do. . .and then asked if she was gonna die. . .I hesitated even longer this time. . .I mean what was I gonna say to her. . .So I said "Yes baby. . .someday. . .a long time from now". . .The look in her eyes was just killing me. . .after a few minutes, her face lite up a little and she said "So I'll get to live in heaven too?" My head was spinning with thoughts of betraying my own beliefs. . .a little anger for letting her get involved with religion. . .but finally deciding that she is too young for this kind of conflict, and I'll just bite my tongue and continue letting her believe in heaven, and keep with what she's being taught at school. . ."Yes baby, you'll get to live in heaven too. . ." "Can I bring you and Mr. Bear?" (Mr. Bear is a 4' tall teddy bear she's had since she was born.) "Yes baby girl, we will be there too." It's difficult having to be both mother and father. . .let alone, being myself. . .and if I ever needed a cheat sheet. . .tonights conversation would have been it! LOL!
Damn man, that's rough. I don't know how I could choose between what I believe and what I want my children to believe versus what they would be taught everywhere else. It's hard. My 6-year old niece's uncle committed suicide last summer, they were very close. Even though my sister and her husband are Atheists (as am I) they allowed my niece's grandparent's to use the same answers you found yourself using. They felt much like you do, but they had no other answers she could grasp and they couldn't leave her with nothing.
I hope so. . .I think I went with what was right for the moment, as opposed to down the road. . . lol I lost my parenting handbook. . .
Hey man, you did good. You could of said something alot worse but it's usually better to just let children accept the norm of society and let themselves develope their own views when they're older.
You did good man, you did really good. She's still very young you know that, she wouldn't be able to handle thinking about concepts like death & what not. And you don't wanna tell her things about what you believe in, so that when she goes to Catholic school and talks to her friends they'll think she's weird & bully her or something. You did good bro, seriously
I'm a single mother of a 3 year old boy, I don't have a religion but I will probably do what you did when that time comes They are so young it's hard for them to understand certain things, later we can explain better and let them choose what they want, if she wants to believe in heaven, she should be able to. I'm not going to stop my son having some sort of explanation other than "Your grandpa is buried in the ground so he can become part of the earth and trees" I mean...that might scare him into thinking all the grass and trees are deceased people
I would have said something like "Yes you'll die someday, but not until you've had a very long, happy life and not until your ready". Death is a hard thing to teach kids. I dunno man, I can't criticize you.
Man that had to be a little heart-wrenching. However, like the masses, I think you ultimately did the right thing. My parents let me believe in heaven for along as I wanted - and when I decided Christianity wasn't my thing they were fine with that as well. I know it's not the exact same thing with you, but there are some parallels. Good job, man.
i know this is off topic. but if i ever have kids i want to have it like you, a girl, and no wife. idk why but that's the only way i could see myself with kids..
I went to Catholic school. They are experts at brainwashing children, through fear, and it's not a good thing.
also a catholic school grad. FUCK them. If you dont agree with them on every little fucking thing, like creation and sin, you're instantly a "bad kid"
Man, why would you put your girl in a catholic school!!! do you know how brainwashed those people are?? She can't develop a healthy mind if she absorbs that kind of mentality. Coming from an Atheist, I respect Buddhism greatly and I would advise you to put her in some sort of different school. You don't have to lie to your kid to protect them. There's a higher chance that she might rebel when she grows up if you lie to her. In your position, once you take her out of this school I would watch the Lion King with her. Explain that death is a natural part of life and that it's nothing to fear. Tell her that these things have a time and place to be discussed and that she needs to grow up just a tiny bit more before she can really understand. You can then teach her about your beliefs when you think she's old enough, bit by bit. You sound like a great father, good luck.
I would say Catholic School isn't the way to go. Unless you live in a part of town with bad public schools.
good advice. and yeah dude for fear of public schools? the fuck is that.... i went to a public school... it's fine... why put her in a school that is centred around a belief system which you don't even fundamentally agree with? and you're letting them teach your daughter... you sound like a good father but for god's sake (pun not intended) take her OUT of catholic school. what a waste of money.