You could talk to him about it, tell him the truth that its fucked up. If i ever find out that people witnessed my dad being abusive and didnt do anything id be pretty fuckin pissed at them. Maybe thats just me though.
If its one of those situations, i understand but you should atleast give it a try. For the kids sake.
I grew up getting the occasional wack and so did the same with my kids.. they are now 4 & 6 and we recently negotiated a cease fire as we were all hating it Now they get sent to their rooms or get given crappy menial tasks or get no pocket money that week.. works just as well and no violence.. also that way you can still keep the smack reserved for the day they put a skateboard through your front windscreen!!
If need be I will not hold back a good swat in the ass. That said, its not my first option. My 9 year old knows by now what he can get away with...talking back/disrespecting Mom is not one of those things. Thats the last time I spanked his ass. My 4 year old is a bit more difficult. I can see me bringing out the boxing gloves when he gets older.
I don't allow it to happen. Period. I'm not talking about a spanking...I'm talking about smacking him/her. I gladly put myself on the line to protect women and children from abuse. Stun guns and/or knives work very well, for me. If nothing else, while they're beating on me, they're not beating on the woman/child. Works for me, although I DO tend to be just a bit more of a challenge than most women or a child.
I have 8 brothers(all from the same mother) and growing up a whoop ass was a daily occurrence, looking back it was kind of necessary. She one time beat all of us because snitching is a no-no at my house and no one would tell her what she wanted to know. My father worked off shore for half my life, so in his absence my mother was left alone to raise 9 boys for up to a week at a time. My father is 6'7" 285lbs and to this day gets almost no respect, not that he ran out on us, quite the opposite. Now that we're all grown we all understand that he did what he had to do to take care of us. My mother on the other hand, was and still is the judge, jury and executioner. IMO the varying levels of respect is directly due to who laid down the law. If you dont establish who is in charge early, later on, that's when you have problems(the kid throwing tantrums at wal mart). I'm not advocating hitting children, I have a son now who never had a finger laid on him by anyone but how some one chooses to discipline their children is up to them and their situation. We also know that there is a vast difference between abuse and discipline. Those parents abusing their children, have their own problems and unfortunately their children suffer. On the other hand, those parents who have no problem "laying down the law" when its necessary, I say good job keep it up. The last time I got my ass beat I was 16 (yes 16)and just got out of jail for fighting at a club. She delivered her best right hook squarely on my bottom lip(still scarred today)while saying "boy I love you so much I'm gonna kill you". Now I'm not afraid of imprisonment, I'm more afraid of the thought of death at the hands of my mother.
person who got excessively beaten as a child= psycho Person who was spanked when justifiably deserved= cool Person who was never disciplined as a child= pussy
I don't know, I'm not gonna decide now when I don't even have kids, plus there's two halves to a partnership, it would be stupid if one parent spanks the kid and the other gives him a shoulder to cry on after the spanking. I'd rather not though, I was never spanked and I turned out fine, always well-behaved and all that. When I did something wrong my mother got off the couch and I sprinted my little ass up the stairs, without violence. Psychological warfare I agree kinda, but disciplined isn't the same as getting spanked. To say that kids who were never spanked are pussies is bullshit.
i will spank my kids when i get there. my dad spanked me and my sister. he never did it in anger. he only had to spank us a few times, me more than my sister. he combined the spankings with reason and lessons on to why we were getting spanked and why what we did was wrong. the worst i ever had was when my dad told me not to go swimming if there wasn't a parental unit there, I did it anyway. He had me get my own switch, and whipped me while i was still wearing the wet shorts I swam in. Afterwords he told me I handled it like a man, therefore he wouldn't spank me anymore, but since I was a man he was just gonna punch me if I acted like a shit, he has never punched me. I think I am better off having been spanked. I also respect him for it. Too many kids these days are only taught lessons and put in timeouts, and too many of them are disrespectful brats.
You guys are looking at this whole situation all wrong, yes of course your children will act out they are human we all are, if you want to see your kid taking the other direction why not expect things from them (simple things if young) and then reward them for their efforts and accomplishments. Whether it be from mowing the lawn, picking up their room doesn't matter. I was raised this way and ive always had a respect and almost a friendship with my father at a very early age, that's not to say i did not go under his word I would just sure and plan ahead to not get caught but that's another subject. Simply try this it couldn't hurt,
Re-read ALL 14 pages and you will see where many, if not all of us stated we also utilize a reward system.