Shyness;

SOunds like social anxiety, dude. Sounds like exactly how I used to be, and psychs told me it was social anxiety. Luckily for me, smoking killed that almost totally. But for you, it might be worth it to talk to a shrink and see if they can help, or maybe give you something that will help abit.

I remember thinking to myself "Fuck this, dude. My desire for a great social life is more overpowering than my anxiety," like what's there to lose, you know? Worst comes to worst, you make a bad impression and you don't make that person into a friend. No big deal.

Also, it's really interesting to think about how it makes you come off. Just today, I met my friend for some food. He's not really a shy person, and I am. But when he speaks, he mumbles alot (he always has) and it makes him seem really insecure, like he can't talk to people. The waitress was mildly attractive, and it was really neat to see how she reacted to him mumbling his order and looking very nervous (though I doubt he really was nervous, per se). Whereas me, the shy one, spoke clearly, and got a direct response that actually led into a pretty decent conversation (about Kafka interestingly enough!) It was really interesting to see that being shy and worrying about your impressions on people really just gives off an even worse impression than you'd make if you just spoke up, and did your thing. Speak clearly, act like you know exactly that you're doing, and if something goes wrong, just laugh about it. Not taking yourself too seriously is a really important thing, I think, plus it's been shown in studys that people who laugh at their own mistakes often make better first impressions than people who try to cover up their mistakes (even when it's the same mistake in both situations).

I mean, think about it. At a party, would you rather be the dude walking up to everyone, making small talk, and being awkward, but come out with some new friends, or would you rather be the guy sitting against a wall that everyone there thinks is weird?

 

im the same way, i just dont know what to talk about around new people. I think its stupid tho in this day and age where if you dont be social or have lots a friends supposedly theres something wrong with you. I like being on my own. Less things to worry about and its just nice.

Oh and i HATE saying stuff like "nice weather today isnt it?" and crap. Its so cheezy.

 

I usually don't talk much sober, but when I smoke I get extremely social. I will talk to anyone, do anything, I love it.

 

i guess for me it just depends on my mood. I am an extremely sarcastic/humorous person, i've never had trouble making anybody laugh. I do tend to be introverted a lot of the time though. If I get a feeling that someone doesn't like me, i just tend to not talk to that person. Sometimes i'm the life of the party, running around yelling and laughing and sometimes i can be that kid that is just lurking around the party drinking beers and seeing what's going on.

I definitely get quieter when i'm high, i get random thoughts racing through my mind and they are so random that i don't even bother saying them to anyone haha.

It's easy to open yourself up to others, you just need to be confident. Approach someone the way that you'd like to be approached. If you greet someone really friendly and confident, you can be almost 99% sure that they will greet you back in the same way. If you greet someone like you don't even want to talk to them really, you will get the same kind of response.

 

Is there someone you're really really comfortable around? Have you noticed that the words flow out of your mouth so fluently, and everything feels so natural? And then there is everyone else in the world. When you talk to these people, you have this mental block, and nothing feels natural. You spit out phrases like "yes" and "no" "haha I knowww."

Captain Obvious here, but I think the biggest problem is our sense of ego.
We categorize society into different classes of "social value." You probably consider yourself somewhere in the low-middle end spectrum. So when you go out and socialize you have this subconsious fear of ruining your percieved sense of social value, or you are afraid of talking to people you percieve to have higher social value than you. Fuck that. We're all the fucking same. This fear in turn causes you to focus on your self-identity in relation to others, which causes this mental block when speaking to others. (Okay, everything I'm saying here is in my opinion, of course.) You're so caught up in this fear that it clouds your mind and you lose your ability to converse naturally.

And then the second biggest problem would be your lack of experience, and especially your lack of experience conversing naturally, without this sense of fear.

So pound this belief into your noggin, this belief that we are all the same, that there is no social class. Then learn to talk to people as if they are an equal, a friend, not an object you are so desperately trying to impress.

 

Maybe your just lacking some self confidence? I was pretty shy, until this year actually. Ive become 100x more outgoing.

You could start working out or something, that tends to make people have more confidence, i know it has for me.

 

I have social anxiety. I find that two things help.

The first thing is to smoke a medical dose in the morning, just so you can only barely feel any effect. It calms it down a bit.

The other thing is simply listening to what things the people around you have, then check it out yourself. Like if someone says he likes Scrubs, watch some Scrubs; maybe you'll like it and you'll have something to talk about. After starting a conversation with such an icebreaker makes a conversation flow naturally to the point where you start sharing opinions on this and that and stuff.

The more you talk, the more you're spoken to so it doesn't get much harder, suddently to have to talk so much.

 

yep .

 

Definitely would not recommend weed to extinguish your shyness. Whenever I smoke I become super shy.

 

This Is What I'm Trying To Acomplish

 

Yeah, this also really made me think. i get social anxiety at times...and i find it can be unbearable when i'm really high with people i feel uncomfortable around....i've noticed that alot of other have been posting the same feeling.

i hope you can overcome your anxiety weeeeeeed.... but i also think it's ok to have an introverted personality.

 

You might just be an introverted person, which is completey fine. I would rather have a handful of close friends, than a bunch of not-close friends, if that makes any sense.

I still want to be able to easily talk to beautiful women, though.
Who doesn't?

 

Yeah, I used to be ridiculously shy. Like a teacher would call on me and I'd turn bright red, and if I didn't know the answer I would start crying. In like fifth grade. It was horrible. I've gotten a lot better from forcing myself to talk to people I don't know very well or at all and trying my best to stay cool.