Shyness;

Discussion in 'General' started by weeeeeeed, Sep 14, 2009.

  1. Why me?

    Even when I smoke, I am still very shy and un-talkative. I haven't been like this forever. When I smoke, I am a little more social, but not how i'd like to be.

    Is anyone else with me? Tips to overcome it?

    Any help is appreciated :eek:
     
  2. get drunk... youll be as un shy as possible, balls of steel.
     
  3. I get social anxiety like a mother fucker when I'm stoned around people I don't know.
     
  4. I've been drunk before. Yes it helps alot at the time, but wears off. I'm talking about in my general life.
     
  5. The best way is just to jump off into the deep end. Force yourself to talk to new people, and eventually it will get easier. If it bugs you out when you're stoned, then do it sober or with a drink or two in you.
     
  6. Why don't you talk ?

    Is it because you're afraid of saying something stupid and looking weird ? Not have any interesting experiences/stories to share ?

    Are you shy around everyone, or just people you don't know well ?
     
  7. I wouldnt wan't to start with a few drinks in me, wouldn't want to rely on alcohol to become social.

    I feel as if I have nothing to say really, and if I do, i feel that it isn't necessarily the "right" thing to say, or that everything I say is totally outrageous and dumb, which forces me to stick to simple replys; "yes" "yeah" "nah" "no", etc.

    I am shy around pretty much everyone, less around close family members.
     
  8. My friend and his girlfriend are shy people, unless they know you well. If I know someone is shy it makes me want to get them know for some reason and I pester the hell out of them lol asking them questions.

    Eventually they open up though. I think that's how to deal with shy people is to initiate convos with them because they're too shy to start up a convo themselves.
     
  9. #9 TheDankery, Sep 14, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 14, 2009
    I've always been on the shy side myself, but I've learn to grow out of my shell the last year or so by forcing myself to be social. It's just a confidence problem, but it won't go away by doing nothing.
    Try to go out more or just have friends over more. Even just try talking to them on the phone or texting more.

    If your friends are good people they'll try to help you become more social. What's the worst that can happen? You embarass yourself in front of like 5 or 6 people? So what? There's millions of people out there.
    For myself, going to a large college definitely helped with that. It was really easy talking to people there because a lot of them don't know anybody and are trying to make friends themselves.

    I took up smoking cigarettes as a conversation starter at college. If anyone comes up to you to ask for a cigarette or a lighter - instant chance to chat with them right there, even if it's brief. I have like 3 or 4 friends I would probably haven't met if I didn't start chatting with them while smoking. If your mind goes blank, and all else fails, start talking about music or sports or maybe just gossip or whatever.

    I'm at the point where I feel like I could talk to just about anybody, and about a year ago people would get bad vibes from because I was silent around them - they'd think I didn't like them or something, but I just didn't have anything to say. I've grown a lot mentally since then, but only because I had to make myself more social.
     

  10. It is harder than that man. If it is social anxiety, which it prob is and you just don't know it, you will prob need some counseling to get the confidence you need. Ussually it is caused by some underlying problem. Parents, kids when you were younger, something to that affect.
     
  11. I'm a tad shy around people I don't know well, but if weed or alcohol is involved I'm usually pretty loose to not care.
     
  12. Oh God Yes I'm The Same Way,But I'm Usually Shy Around New People
    A Mall Can RiP A Shy Person In Half,But Im The Shyest When I Meet A Girl
    I Wanna Talk To
     
  13. Anyone else much shyer if you don't have any friends with you?
     
  14. Yeah, it could be social anxiety. Or it could just be shyness. I still think the OP should just try and talk to more people and see how it feels.

    But also keep in mind, there's nothing wrong with listening to what other people have to say from time to time. Sometimes saying things just to say things can be just as bad as not talking at all.
     
  15. #15 weeeeeeed, Sep 14, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 14, 2009
    TheDankery: nice story and grats man. thats pretty much what i try to do, but don't succeed.

    A friend of mine used to be just like me, but now hes like the life of the party. Without drugs or therapy/counseling.

    I've tried these things to a certain extent, or I say "I will do this.." and end up not doing it.

    Edit: I've read up on social anxiety a bit, and that sounds like me. I don't want to resort to drugs (benzos, anti-depressants, etc). How could you go about doing self-help. I've googled and whatnot on this topic, but haven't found anything.

    Pretty much looking for someone who went through the same thing, or knows someone who does that could give me a few pointers.
     
  16. #16 TheDankery, Sep 14, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 14, 2009
    Thanks man. But I wouldn't be outgoing unless I made myself, really. I did embarrass myself and look stupid a couple times, but it's all good. Attractive women are still hard to talk to for me, but any guy and any unattractive girl are easy for me to speak with.

    Look into social anxiety disorder if you can. If it's still hard for you to be outgoing and talkative after trying for a while, it may more than shyness, man.

    Try going to a concert for a band you really like, and waiting in line and talking to the people around you. That's something that helped me meet people. If you make a friend, you instantly have something to talk about - the music. If you fall on your face, it's cool because you'll probably never see them again.
     

  17. For sure dude, talk to people who have the same interests as you. Easiest way to do that is goto a concert, or some sort of convention. Music festivals are great places to meet people.
     
  18. Well, I have tons of oppertunities to talk to people, but it just won't come out.
     

  19. I have done some self help. Honestly, what helps me, is getting high, looking back on events from your childhood, and seeing how they affect who you are today. If they are negatively affecting you, find the source of that problem confront it. For me it was the fact there was a lot of fighting in my house, and my mom would always yell and shit when I asked her questions, which led to being very reserved. I mean, I was scared to talk to my own mother when I was younger, how am I supposed to talk to a stranger? Once I confronted it though, everything started to become easier. It still isn't gone, and it still can get pretty bad, but it is no where as bad as it was, and I am able to be more social since the confrontation.
     
  20. so you're introverted. okay. just be yourself.
     
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