So I'm moving out of my grandma's house in a week... (sorry, sort of a ramble, skip to the last 2 paragraphs for the short version) moved in here about a month ago after my parents caught me by searching my room and finding a bowl and some lighters. Long story short, things were tense over there before, and I simply could not STAND my parents after that, I just wanted to get out of the house and spend some time in a more relaxed environment (here). I was going to live with my friend Nikki, who is attending the same community college I will be going to next year. I am paying for it myself, but don't have a car, so I think that would be a better option than spending another $1,500+ to live on campus. However, she is not the most reliable person so plans with her fell thru. I really want to get out of here ASAP so I can work my summer job (school ends in a week as well)... my bf lives 5 min away from Nikki and works at the same place (got me the job actually)... he lives with a friend who is 26 (he's 23, I'm 18- young, I know, but lets not dwell on that). Anywho, he and I have both decided that the best situation financially (I will only owe $100/month for the first little while, b/c we'll be sharing a room in his friends' house) and overall would be for me to live with him over there. (last 2 paragraphs) Of course I am very excited... but at the same time my family does NOT approve. They hate that I smoke (well smoked, i havent since ive been caught), that my bf smokes, and they think I am trying to be "grown up" by moving in with him although that really has little to do with it. The drug counselor my mother has been making me see (I go just to humor her) says that I am hurting my mom by leaving, and my mom says that it is a "low thing to do" to move out of my grandmas after she has gone out of her way for me for a month. Then last night, after the counseling meeting, my grandma told my bf that she thinks we are "wasting our lives" smoking pot all the time when we could be doing "good things" like volunteering instead of "throwing money down a rat hole"... umm... yeah. We both ALREADY have/do volunteer and don't even spend a lot of money on weed, honestly we may even start growing to save money. She of course does not understand, but just keeps going on and on and ON about how worried/concerned she and everyone else is for me. Sorry for the ramble... but basically, I feel like I somehow owe them something, like in order to do the "right thing" I should stay for their sake, but then I would be miserable, jobless, and nothing would be accomplished. But then again, I am 18 and have my own life to live. I just wish they didn't know everything... guess its too late now.
sounds like the drug counselor is in it with ur mom since she pays for it. sounds like a guilt trip. just think would u rather be suffering in your granny house hearing ur fam and her bitch constantly until the day you snap? or..... do what you gotta do to make it on ur own with ur man and actually feel a bit happy? you already know what choice you want. sometimes the decision you need to make is bad in your parents eyes, seems to work out in the end and everyone calms down. your her kid, she'll calm down eventually.
Fuck them! You're 18! Move out while the ideas still in your head. A kid lives next door to me, he's 26, still lives with his parents, no job, no money for weed. Don't turn out like him. You're parents are trying to hold you back from the real world. Go for it!
Thanks guys =] I guess I just needed to hear some positive approval of my ideas... Idk. It sounds impulsive and unusual even to me to move out w/ my bf when I'm EIGHTEEN, but then again I've always prided myself on being unique. =P
i left when i was 18, im 29 and lovin it cuz i decided to go with my jamie. moms calmed down (im her youngest so its all 'my babyyyys leaving" moment lol) now shes all calm and loves her grandkids
bong princess, before you leave, try to get them to understand your point of view. but if they really just won't get it, then sucks for them, it's your life.
Go for it if you really feel it's what you wanna do, and you're sure you're not doing it to "act grown up" or whatever. It sounds like you made a mature decision though. I would do it after you convince them it's just your time to move out and do your thing, and that weed isn't influencing what you wanna do.
Don't feel guilty. Heck nobody should tell you too, this is a drug forum. People these days, as well as the history of man have been arrogant. Nobody knows what you want and what you need, but yourself. And you could try to open their eyes a little by watching The Union, if they don't approve of our economy atm. Here's a link: the union the business behind getting high - Google Videos I can't see how people go through life, following others, and thinking that's right. Our whole world and most of humanity is fucked up. Human beings need to open their eyes and see that we arn't alive for very long, and we should be able to do as we please during that time, not what others believe is right or wrong, it's your life, why do they care if you "fuck it up". Everyone is/has their own brain. Use it for yourself, don't let them get you down. You're dealing with a, almost harmless, plant, that could save our economy as well, and nobody but us "potheads" and "hippies" tend to see that, it's kind of pathetic. P.S. Drug counselor's are hilarious! But I have had a few good/nice counselor's that aren't always Anti-drugs.
I'd probably be upset if my daughter was 18 and moving in with a 23 yr old guy. I'd probably be more upset about the age gap than anything. Of course, your 18 so you can do what you want - just don't expect them to help you out much if you refuse to listen to them.
Yeah, dude. Don't feel guilty about trying to become an adult and breaking away from your parents. They don't understand, chances are they'll never understand. You know the truth and eventually they will come to terms with everything that is happening. They love you and you know it's only going to get better, they're not just going to cut all ties over you moving out and shit. You're 18, they've been expecting you to leave sometime, but I'm sure they just didn't want it to happen so soon, is all. I don't know, just make sure this is what you want. Good luck. (Sorry if this doesn't make any sense)
Get the fuck out lol. Honestly, there are families who help their kids by being controlling or sometimes help their kids by just getting out of the way...then therer are families who just screw you over and you need to get out to live your OWN life. I'm basically in the latter group and I can't wait to get out next year, so good luck to you. Its going to be tough and you'll be in debt most likely for awhile, but it'll be worth it because you'll have your freedom and sanity .
Sounds to me like your parents/drug counselor are pruposfully trying to make you feel bad. If you feel guilty about leaving your grandparents, you could pick them up a gift, your their grandkid so anything you get them theyll like. I got my grandparents a $15 thermometer that's like 3 or 4 ft tall and has the temp. on glass balls filled with liquid floating in it. They tell me how much they love it every time I see them, and they mean it. If your family can't understand that moving out is what you need to do, then all the more reason to go. You don't have to live for them, live for yourself. But either way, a gift would be a nice way to show your grandmother you appreciate her putting you up for a time.
Loll belieeeeve me I've tried my best for all 5 weeks its been since I was caught. Read my other threads and you'll see. Some people are just too set in their ways to be convinced by words, they gotta see it happen to believe it But I'll show them!
Good idea =] I should work on getting her something cooking or baking related, I think she would really appreciate that And yea, she is the only one I really DO feel guilty about at all, my parents, fuck them. They wont even let me come over to get the rest of my stuff until its "at their convenience" as my mom said today when I called. And also that it wont be til next week when she is "out of the house" but she wont tell me where she's going? Oh well, guess its my dad taking me to my final counseling appt next Wed. It'll be easier breaking the news to him taht I'm actually living w/ my bf not my friend Nikki, than it would be to my psycho bitch mother
If you've ever noticed her baking and needing something she didnt have, thatd be a good thing to get her as well.
Haha tell THEM that. Wish they would just let me alone w/o bringing up a new "issue" everyday... Oh well. Only 6 more days of my bitching and you wont be able to shut me up about how awesome it is living without having to deal w/ the rents
I'm really not sure what question/s you are asking? My kids are all older than you and none of them even smoke, but they do drink too much at times, they don't hurt anyone else or get in trouble so like you they are trying to live their lives independently. The only way I would ever get heavy with my kids would be if they are involved with hard drugs. I know some people on here may not agree but if its class A, that's UK classification I'm referring to, then I believe it's a dead end - literally. I lost a good friend to smack when I was 20 so that influenced me ever since. I think your family should be more understanding as you find your way in life, including making mistakes. If you and your boyfriend are happy go with it and good luck!
I'd just like to point out, try and not take this the wrong way, you're about as unique as the rest of us, given that everyone is about as unique as each other since we are all individually different people. Unique doesnt apply in most if not all cases of humanity. Also you're parents are just worried about how you will take care of yourself on your own, its what most parents are concerned with.
Lol sry, I didnt mean to be arrogant or anything with that, I just mean I don't often do things the easy or "conventional" way. As in living w/ my parents til I go to college, so I can come home on breaks, etc. and be controlled by them until my education is done and I can "afford" life on my own like they would want Psh, I can afford it now. And you're right, they'll always be worried about the risks I'm taking, I just have to be safe about my lifestyle, do what I gotta do to pay the bills, and prove to them I am capable of this no problemmm