Shit man, Tell me all the things I did wrong tonight

This might be fun.

Try to keep to the following format:

1.
2.
3.


Okay here's my story:

Smoked the last of my stash. It was probably 1.5 times than I normally smoke because I didn't want to leave half a bowl pack in my bag. I sprinkled all the kief I saved from the last 5 bags or so that I have on top and hopped in my car.

So I drive for a bit and pull onto the highway and maybe 10 seconds go by, and I check my rear-view and BAM fucking blue boy right on my ass. About half a cars length from my back bumper.

Note: I packed the bowl in my house, since it was the last of my bud I wasn't carrying any bud on me in the car after I smoked the bowl. I guess the cop could have if he really wanted to scrape the res from the bowl and get me.

Anyways. So cop car 605 is on my ass. And I have my pipe on top of the dashboard. (inside here: http://i47.tinypic.com/zmf6me.png YEA THE STORY HAS PICTURES BIG WHOOP GET OVER IT)

Its literally in the center of the car visible from the back window. So for some reason I felt like grabbing the pipe and shoving it down my pants would look suspicious.

So I check my speedometer, I'm doing 60 in a 55. Perfectly acceptable... I take a few deep breaths and keep driving. I stay in my lane. Now there's a sort of group of cars going the same speed because nobody wants to drive past the cop and stuff. Oh I'm on a three-lane highway btw.

So my legs are turning to jelly. So at a traffic light or two I change the song on my iPod playing out the car speakers, make myself look normal and shit.

After 8 minutes I decide I really need to get off the highway (I didn't want to dip really early because that looks too suspicious and he would probably follow me, right?)

So I cross two lanes and get into a turning lane going into a Target. Cop drives past me and I scream out loud into my car "TITSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS."

In the Target parking lot I take the pipe and stuff it in my boxer briefs for safe keeping.

Now most people would turn around and go in the opposite direction and go back home... Nah I really wanted fucking Checkers man I wasn't going home empty handed.

So I get back on the highway going in the wrong direction, make a u-turn at a traffic light and finally get myself to Checkers.

Go inside (in my robe, slippers and pink slippers) get my XL (how can checkers have an Xtra-Large fry and Wendys can't have a Biggee size? Honestly not complaining though.) and strawberry shake.

Now I forgot to mention, I parked my car and there's two guys in the parking lot drinking beers/smoking a cigarette. So when I leave I put the bag/drink in the car, and stop and decide whether or not to embarrass myself.

I decided it was worth it... So i shuffle over to the guys and say "Shit man, sorry to bother.. but do you happen to have an extra cigarette?"

"Nah man this is my last one, go buy yourself a pack..."

(Man I hate people that use that excuse, just simply say "No, sorry bro" instead of lying like that...)

So I say laugh and say "Ahhh it's all good man. I'm just buggin out and would love a cig right now... Had a cop tail me from my house to Target..."

"Whys that so bad? What are you on drugs?"

and I instantly freeze up. I just assumed they knew I was high, and was cool with it because shit they were drinking/obviously going to be driving... all in a Checkers parking lot.

I mean I was getting Checkers at 11PM in my slippers/robe... sort of obvious I guess...

So I turn around and hold up my two fingers inches apart like saying "a little bit" and they started laughing.

Back on the highway I'm feeling a lot better/de-stressed until I pull up to the third traffic light or so and see Mr.605 first in line going straight across....

Now theres 3-4 cars in front of me, and I figured that maybe he wouldn't see me... But two of them turn into one of two left turning lanes. and I'm mentally screaming "fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk."

So I decide there's no way the cop is going to get over two lanes of traffic (there were cars behind him) to follow me down this road. and thank god he didn't.

So I cut through some backroads and cut through a state university to get back home, and I pass one of those fire-chief cruiser SUVs with his lights/sirens on another highway type road...

Thought nothing of it. Then I saw a real fire truck a few minutes later... all I saw were the lights coming up over the hill and I thought I was fucked...

Now I live in a residential neighborhood with another fire station on it. As I pull onto my street another fire truck comes whipping out of the driveway.

I saw too many flashing lights... and too many cops tonight

But hey, Dude wheres my car? is on TV tonight.

So blades.... Tell me all the things I did wrong.