Serious Questions... Help Needed

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Skert, Aug 4, 2011.

  1. I would like to let everyone know, this might be long. I personally have been with my girl for almost 9 months now, I'm 18 and she is about to turn 17. We both lost each others virginities to each other, and we are always together. (like no lie pretty much everyday at least like 5 hours a day) We prob burn like at least like 2 times a day together.... at least lol. We have so much in common, views on shit, music we like, same struggles n shit too. Our sex life is pretty active, she is usually horny but is a very lazy person in bed lol, and i have to work for her to do anything (i think she is just not comfortable with herself) and she usually complains about pain a good bit actually. and she started on some birth control and i think this is why it happens, but she actually bleeds a good bit of the time when we have sex and it actually causes us to have to stop.... a lot. Im not a guy to be all about sex but it is kinda difficult. Well I feel like we are slowly growing apart, and i feel like she is in the relationship way more than me. (we havent said we love each other yet) but i do believe she is in love with me and i sadly dont feel the same. She is no lie my best friend and i never want to lose her but i feel like its almost our time to end, and i dont really know what to do. I dont want to leave her and then be like "omg i just fucked up" and fuck my opportunity with her. She is my first "real" relationship and im just really really lost and slightly getting very stressed and semi depressed (sleepless nights just thinking about everything) Basically i just want to hear your opinion on the situation because i dont feel like i have someone in real life that i trust with this kinda info. Im really torn, dont want to string things out too long and it end up terrible. Im ready for new people and new experiences im just not a douche bag and get in relationships for sex as well. This has been a long rant sorry if i jumped around too much aha. If you have gotten this far thank you for reading. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. (if any questions are needed or anything feel free to ask)
  2. your young and this is your first "love" these feelings are to be expected, since your having feelings of guilt i guess its fair to say that your not a douche, and you actually care about not hurting this girl, but if you feel its your time to end, its your time to end, it would be unfair for you to stay with her for yourself and for her, if you like try talking to her and seeing if you guys can change and adapt to make it work, if not then move on to an amicable parting of ways, who knows you might end up back with her in the future, or you could end up with an even more amazing hottie (the second being more likley)
    hope that helped and good luck
  3. Thank you for your input. I am not a douche lol. If anything the opposite. I kinda feel like i dont want to end it because i dont want to be single.... errr should i say alone with no one to call up at any time and be like come and chill with me. I know the longer it lasts the harder it will be to end for both of us. How would you suggest i handle things if i still want to be in her life and still be friends (maybe random fuck sessions, you never know)?

    edit: once again thank you whoever reads any of this. I really appreciate it
  4. your hurting her more for every second you dont love her back
  5. i know and completely understand.... fuck. Im not douchey in any way to her about that though we both show emotion to each other. im not hurting her now i know that for sure.... but i know it will hurt so much worse for her if we end up breaking up.
  6. That whole fear of being can't let that hold you back I made the mistake of staying with a girl for way to fucking long cuz I was afraid to be alone and I didn't want to hurt her I was with her from June of 08 til November of 2010 and I can say that the last 18months or so were just not enjoyable I found I had different views on alot of things and was no lover attracted to her but I just didn't want to hurt her and the breakup was twenty times messier than it needed to be because it was drawn out so fucking long..but yo know in my case I found a new girl within six or seven weeks and there's no looking back, as for the random fucking sessions you have to be careful with those because she may see them as a way for her to weasle you back into a relationship with her and there's always the trick they pull to say that they're pregnant to keep a guy around so be wary of that. But when you do break up with her just be honest wig her and express to her how you feel with out beig accusatory and if she cannot handle this then you just need to sever all ties and walk away
  7. I feel like we still have tons of fun n shit together just dont know my feelings truly. Im not sure on soooo many things right now (not just the relationship) its hard for me to know if i truly do still have feelings for her cuz there are great moments and then some not so great. Any advice on how i could really tell if im in it still or not really?
  8. Dude you are young even though 18 is adult like. As for sex she seems uncomfortable especially the bleeding. That happens when you start birth control. If I can count the number of girls I said I love you to and wanted them forever it would go on for a long time. Not. I am single.

    But I still love my first girl from high school as I am sure she will do the same.
  9. Does anybody feel like it would be a good idea to actually tell her how i am feeling without actually being like i want to break up. because i actually dont WANT to break up with her.
  10. Whatever you decide-she should check with her obgyn if she is experiencing painful intercourse.
  11. i personally think its because im too big for her... not trying to flex.... and the fact she cant fucking relax. every time shes about to cum she stops herself and wont just relax and just scream her lungs out... she has even told me that she doesnt want to be loud lmao i told her fucking go for it but she still wont
  12. I think you should just be honest about how you feel. Tell her exactly what you just told all of us. If she is a person worth having around, she will understand...and if not, then you're obviously at two different places in life.

    Just open up your heart, dude. :)

  13. Hi Skert..

    let me tell u something bro, if u don't love her anymore, be pals, smoke and shit together, but not as a couple.. U r too young for all this commitment stuff! Trust me.. I'm 23... Fell in love with that girl when I was 16.. Was going through a rough patch in my life and she helped me a lot.. Was all great, at 18 she moved to another country.. And I followed her.. Still debating was it the right decision or not..

    But anyway the point of my story being: we r seven years together now BUT I don't think I love her anymore man.. I don't think we even have anything in common anymore.. We r constantly fighting over some stupid things like why the fuk I didn't wash my dishes and so on.. Constantly talking about how we should break up and all but it's like we fight: tell each other how much we hate one another and them make up again.. And everything is good for a few days.. And then all starts all over again..

    But I do realize that the stuff we say to each other is prob true and we prob do hate each other...... But man it's hard to break up with somebody u've spent 7 years of your life with... Man that's like third of my life... Shit...

    Do not do the same mistake.. Make up ur mind do u love her or not.....

  14. damn... that is the question i will be thinking about nonstop for the next idk how long. i will deff let yall know when i decide lol. One last question then bed for me right now. How do you know if you do love someone...... i know its not one specific thing.... but is there something where you can be like.... damn i do love this bitch lmao?
  15. When you catch sight of your beloved unexpectedly in public and your world suddenly comes into focus and takes on vivid color where all was grey before....but I am a hopeless romantic.:eek:
  16. Love is a strong word my friend...
  17. When I was 17 I fell in love with "the one", or so I thought. I was more in love with the idea of being in love. At 19 we ended up getting married, which was a HUGE mistake. But I believed I loved her. At 23 I had a child with her, I loved my child but really did not love her. I loved being a family. At 27 I had woken up (yes it took 10 years) and decided I wanted a divorce. She got pregnant, so I stayed because of my children. At 32 I couldn't take it any more and I did divorce her, but by that time I had become very jaded with her and to this day I can honestly say I hate her with every fiber of my being. Needless to say there are a lot of blanks in this story, but bottom line I was in love with being in love and it cost me a lot of really good years. The only good part is I have my children, so for that I am happy.

    My advice is simple, if it doesn't feel right then don't do it. To many people can get hurt along the way. If you do not love her then the best thing to do is to let her go and allow you both to find your true happiness. I was fortunate, I found my true love the second time around. Now I can honestly say I am happy and I am a better person because of it.
  18. let me remind you, I don't know where you live but it is summer here. spending 5 hours a day with a girl 7 days a week will get on your nerves even if you think it doesn't. Been there done that.

    Make a change of pace. Go off somewhere with her, take a day trip, weekend etc. It will give you a new view on things. Getting stoned is awesome but boring as hell when you do it with the same person all of the time.
  19. Either you love her and want to be with her or you dont, kwim? You just need to think about it, dont just string her along. Tell her how you feel. How do you know if you love her? Well, the first time my husband put his hand on my thigh, electricity surged though my body. He is the only man that has ever made me feel that way. You just know. You cant get enough of eachother.

  20. toker4lyfe is right.

    I wish I felt that electricity. It seems like every girl I ever dated threw water on that electrical charge. Anyway I dated psychos my whole life. Then I tried a rather boring relationship with this whitebread girl and that sucked. boring girls = bad sex. so who do you go after? Drunks? or boring girls? Or crazy latinas that start fights with you being the one who ends up going to jail. Yes jail in NYC blows. Also all of these psycho chicks I broke up with ended up getting married within 6 months after the breakup! could you imagine if I were the one marrying them????

    Perhaps his 18 year old penis is the electrical conduit? :eek:

    I'm just kiddin I am taking your thread seriously. Are you still in high school dude? an upcoming college separation?

    It sounds like she is a good girl and you are tight friends. You don't want to lose someone good whether it is love or friendship.

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