Rules Guys Wish Women Knew.

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by AmsterdamdreamN, Apr 7, 2003.

  1. 1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

    2. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT; IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN.

    3. DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR......EVER!!!!!!!

    4. SOMETIMES, WE'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU --- LIVE WITH IT.

    5. GET RID OF YOUR CAT.

    6. SUNDAY = SPORTS!

    7. ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE. REALLY.

    8. WOMEN WEARING WONDERBRAS AND LOW CUT BLOUSES LOSE THEIR RIGHT TO COMPLAIN WHEN MEN STARE AT THEIR CHESTS.

    9. YOU DO HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

    10. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

    11. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. SUBLTE HINTS DON'T WORK.

    12. MARK ANNIVERSARIES ON THE CALENDAR.

    13. PEEING STANDING UP IS MORE DIFFICULT THAN PEEING FROM POINT BLANK RANGE....SOMETIMES WE MISS.

    14. "YES" AND "NO" ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS.

    15. A HEADACHE THAT LASTS FOR 17 MONTHS IS A PROBLEM...SEE A DOCTOR.

    16. DON'T FAKE IT. WE'D RATHER BE INEFFECTIVE THAN DECEIVED.

    17. ANYTHING WE SAID SIX OR EIGHT MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.

    18. IF YOU DON'T DRESS LIKE THE VICTORIA'S SECRET GIRLS, DON'T EXPECT US TO ACT LIKE SOAP OPERA BOYS.

    19. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS, AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

    20. LET US OGLE. IF WE DON'T LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN, HOW CAN WE KNOW HOW PRETTY YOU ARE?

    21. DON'T RUB THE LAMP IF YOU DON'T WANT THE GENIE TO COME OUT!

    22. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE...NOT BOTH.

    23. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DIDN'T NEED DIRECTIONS...NEITHER DO WE.

    24. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

    25. MEN ARE FROM EARTH, WOMEN ARE FROM EARTH...DEAL WITH IT!


    AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    26. NOTHING SAYS, "I LOVE YOU" LIKE SEX!!!
     
  2. So true!

    I do believe those are exactly right!!!!
     

  3. thats my biggest problem!;)
     
  4. nice, i hope you women are paying attention!
     
  5. Very old, but I think it deserves a bump.
     
  6. yes.

    I wish i had an clapping audience for you.
     
  7. 21 is so true
     
  8. "19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one."

    fucking yes.
     
  9. true that:p
     
  10. 10. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.--So fucking true. A crying women infuriates me. It's usually over nothing.

    19 is good to. I get so sick of that shit.
     
  11. 27. We don't want to hear about how "hot" "karla's" boyfriend is. Or how hot anyone is for that matter. Do we tell you how hot scarlet johanson is?
     
  12. holy fuck 6 year bump!
     
  13. They should probably teach women this in school. Fucking women.
     
  14. :laughing:
     
  15. This should def be like mandatory for every girl to read and study this list and know it like the back of their hand lol.
     
  16. I would like to argue that #3 is a mere opinion. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? The rest I can live with..
     
  17. "19. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS, AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE."

    maby not the truest one on the list, definatly the funnyest though :D
     
  18. legit. i can go with this :smoke:
     
  19. That's so sexist.
    Things women wish men knew:
    1. You're fat and we just pretend you're strong.
    2. We know that you're just pretending to be stupid or not hear us, but we don't feel like arguing about it.
    3. Yes, we do like to be bought flowers and treated "lady-like", even if it's corny.
    4. If you can talk about your feelings, it's sexy. It is.
    5. Learn to not piss on the toilet seat. Wiping it off on your pants is not acceptable.
    6. You do need directions. (That's why Columbis thought America was India.)
    7. If you stare at other women, you're a whore. Plain and simple.
    8. If you really loved a girl, you wouldn't care how many shoes, clothes, or cats she had (within reason), because what makes her happy would make you happy.
    9. Stop being lazy. If you can't figure out what we're trying to tell you, and we have to spell it out for you, you're too dumb for me.
    10. "Accidentally" not pulling out is a bunch of bullshit and we know it.
    11. Some girls can pull off the short hair and it looks damn good. I know I can.
    12. If we're crying, comfort us. Men are supposed to be protective and masculine. If you can't even comfort a woman, then you can't even do your basic duties as a man.


    *** My last, but not least, ... LEARN TO APOLOGIZE. EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. WE DO IT, AND YOU SHOULD TOO. ACCIDENTALLY HURTING SOMEONE'S FEELINGS DOESN'T MEAN THEY WEREN'T HURT.***
    :D
     

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