I had to be admitted into a lunaticasaylum a.k.a the mental hospital because of getting caught with weed. I was told my goal was supposed to be made to end my 2 year marijuana addiction, and to detoxify. I actually got sort of serious about it in my mind ath the facility, in the harsh conditions, within the terrible food, whilst losing 10 pounds in a seven day stay. Horrible beds, freezing environments, terrible people (staff). Anyway, I actually felt as though I wanted to quit, and would avoid it when I got out...if I got out. And thus perhaps the unknown of myself getting out drove me to these thoughts, as well to the negative consequences I was forced to think about, such as dramatic drop in short term memory, and the tearing apart of lives. I now, 5 days after discharge feel as though marijuana is my life. It is just something I love. It is so hard to give up, and quit, because a few days later I was smoking. Is this really an unusual mindset? I really just enjoy my state of mind, while high more than anything, the feeling in my mind. Loss of symptoms from O.C.D, S.A.D, Bipolar and depression. The actual flow of time, and progression effort of what it takes physically and mentally to proceed through time, is just so much easier...as if I am just finally coexisting, without a burden.
Bummer about having to go to the mental hospital over bud sorry to hear about your luck. I don't think your alone with your opinion, I function better high than sober it's easier for me to keep focus and has made my life better in my opinion. I don't find it hard to quit but I don't need to quit. The mental facility sounds like it was hell, somewhat what I would picture one being like I've always feared those places.
That's not a bad state of mind at all if you ask me. I love the herb as well. I've been a daily smoker for the last 2 and half years with no plans of stopping anytime soon. It really is an awesome plant. When I go a whole day without smoking, I feel too wired, my eyes feel so open and large it's like I've got baseballs in my eye sockets. I feel like I take in a lot more when I'm stoned... Like the small stuff doesn't matter as much, and I pay more attention to how cool the world really is. Laugh more, stress less. Food is better, music is better. Isn't that the fuckin' way to live or what?
I went through a year and a half, nearly two years of inpatient treatment about 10 years ago. i was detoxed and sober in a week, but to stay out of jail on probation for 3 years the judge wanted me to spend the entire 3 years doing some kind of treatment program... (the rest of that 3 years was more like living in a halfway house). Even during that time, I never thought MJ was a detrimental force in my life. I had all the experiences you describe while in the facility. I was sober of everything for about 10 years and felt fine. I started smoking again around a year ago and feel fine. i'm taking a break now and haven't smoked in a week or so and I feel fine. I think I just needed to grow up some.
I quit a 13 year heroin and cocaine addiction by doing nothing more than spending time in the garden and medicating and considering life. I am of 1 % of people who could quit these drugs, and that's how I did it.
I do not consider my frequency of use enough to destroy my memory or intellectual status, but of course this is uncertain. So far, in these two years I have smoked nothing has ever changed in my life, physically or mentally EXCEPT: more ease in the mind, disruption of the family where my parents get obsessed that I might look high after coming home from a party, or smoking at the house, and carry the issue on and on and on. Relieving of so many symptoms mentally. Relief of daily body tension, and more appreciation for some smaller things. Harsh come downs, and some what denial of coming down and not wanting to re-enter my O.C.D, depressive, anxiety life. It's not that marijuana enhances a lot for me, it enhances things I truly appreciate in the sober state....although I have the hiding, underlying fear that you can never truly avoid your sober true conscience state of mind. You can keep running from it, but you will one day have to be sober, and you will one day have to face it. I mean, someone said, "Isn't that the way to really live", but in fact, even though it is and should be, it is not, as we were born sober, (at least babies born from mothers not addicted to heroin, or crack cocaine, who actually are born in a form of DT's and are technically high), but that aside, we all are born sober, and live life a long time sober, so life really is meant to be lived sober? If at most, I should not use drugs to hide my life, because then my problems will come out even more, I should use it as I need to and when I intelligently feel it is right, after soberly assessing life's situations.
The way that I look at it is I choose to smoke cannabis, I can quit at any time if whatever in my life forces me to do so but while I have the chance to smoke and enjoy the fine herb that has been provided for us here on earth then I will indulge in it. I mean, how can you pass up such a nice smelling tasty plant? I don't think marijuana has had ONE negative influence on my life - not one. I didn't smoke marijuana for the first 14 years of my life, and I take tolerance breaks with ease. Usually it's just the first day of not smoking that is kinda nerve wrecking, and after that it's like I'm just back to normal. Of course, I don't know if I smoke to get high or just cuz I love the taste so much. I mean, I just like to smoke lol and I think cigarettes are nasty so herb is just perfect for me. Nothing more satisfying than taking a huge bong rip and letting out a humongous cloud of smoke.
