Last night I blacked out at my friends house and apparently got up off his couch, whipped out my dick and took a full piss on his living room floor... No recollection of this at all. I think I'm drawing a line here and never getting that fucked up again. So what retarded shit have you done drunk?
-Uses search function, finds 45 recent threads on same topic- Regardless, I have jumped face first into a wall.. Apparently my depth perception was a little off..
Ran from the cops wearing nothing but underwear for 45 minutes through a busy cities downtown area. Tried to hop the dived between booths in a restaurant and face planted a table Mistoke my backpack containing all my belongs for a toilet, and pissed and puked all over it. Woke up in a random town (While on a different continent none the less) 45 minutes away from where I started in the passanger seat of my vehicle. No keys, and no recollection of how I got there. Nobody knows what happened to me. 1 minute I was at the bar, next I wasnt. Lit a firework upside down which spun into a bush and caught it on fire Decided I was doing a wet jock competition at a bar. They pumped us full of all the free liquor we could drink in half an hour then told us to undress. There was no way I was going to win it without doing something brash. I whipped down to nothing and threw a sock over my junk. So here I am stark fucking naked infront of a packed bar. Probably 400-500 people doing my thing. Then came the water, yeah the sock got heavy and fell off. Naked. Balls to the wall right off the get go. Thank you liquid courage ahaha. I rocked that shit, waving my junk around like a perv. I won, but in reality I was reffered to as sock boy for the next 3 weeks so i lost pretty bad. People I didnt know came up to me and were like hey, its fucking sock boy! Yeah, rough times at the bar after that. I fractured my heel jumping off a bridge, and was waay to drunk to realize. Went and rocked karokee after and it didn't phase me. Woke up and I couldnt walk though. Apparently these waters also had bull sharks And thats all I feel like typing for now, I have an arsenal of dumb shit ive done drunk though.
[quote name='"UNAB0MB3R"']Ran from the cops wearing nothing but underwear for 45 minutes through a busy cities downtown area. Tried to hop the dived between booths in a restaurant and face planted a table Mistoke my backpack containing all my belongs for a toilet, and pissed and puked all over it. Woke up in a random town (While on a different continent none the less) 45 minutes away from where I started in the passanger seat of my vehicle. No keys, and no recollection of how I got there. Nobody knows what happened to me. 1 minute I was at the bar, next I wasnt. Lit a firework upside down which spun into a bush and caught it on fire Decided I was doing a wet jock competition at a bar. They pumped us full of all the free liquor we could drink in half an hour then told us to undress. There was no way I was going to win it without doing something brash. I whipped down to nothing and threw a sock over my junk. So here I am stark fucking naked infront of a packed bar. Probably 400-500 people doing my thing. Then came the water, yeah the sock got heavy and fell off. Naked. Balls to the wall right off the get go. Thank you liquid courage ahaha. I rocked that shit, waving my junk around like a perv. I won, but in reality I was reffered to as sock boy for the next 3 weeks so i lost pretty bad. People I didnt know came up to me and were like hey, its fucking sock boy! Yeah, rough times at the bar after that. I fractured my heel jumping off a bridge, and was waay to drunk to realize. Went and rocked karokee after and it didn't phase me. Woke up and I couldnt walk though. Apparently these waters also had bull sharks And thats all I feel like typing for now, I have an arsenal of dumb shit ive done drunk though.[/quote] I want your life.
Stepped off the roof and fell into a dumpster. Had sex with three sisters on the same night Decided it would be funny to throw smoke bombs at cars Called my mother in law at 3am to tell her that her daughter was good in bed...
Left my car keys on a sidewalk in the middle of a residential area in Santa Monica, CA. Didn't notice til my homie had already taken me back to my car like 8 miles away. Then when I was about to hop in my car, "FUCK MY KEYS!" (disclaimer, I was only buzzed at this point, not driving drunk. The stupid drunkenness was when I lost my keys like 2 hours before)
I was probably 17 or 18 and school had just ended. Up the street from my high school is the municipal complex and there is a park in it call the "creative playground". Its a bunch of cool shit thats made out of wood and in the middle there is a huge structure like a castle that you can climb up. Sometimes me and a few friends would go there after school and hang out. One day me and a friend went there just to hang out and smoke cigarettes. While we were doing this I realized that I had to shit and didn't want to walk all the way to the library (which was also in the complex right across the parking lot). I found a traffic cone and decided to climb up the tallest turret and shit in this cone. I turned the cone uspide down, dropped my pants and took a mean shit in the cone. As I'm trying to get this kid to hand me something decent to wipe with, I notice a cop walking up to the playground. He doesn't notice that we're drunk, he's more concerned about us smoking there. In short he confiscates my friends cigarettes (the legal tobacco buying sge in NJ is 19) and tells us to leave. We then go to the library where i properly wipe my ass and I make him promise not to tell anyone. Of course he tells fucking everyone he meets and their mother so that went pretty well lol
Probably fell off my friends porch .I was Trying to lean back and sit on it .but I lost my balance and fell horribly .I cut my lip bruised my ribs and bit the inside of mouth really bad. Also my friend pissed in front of my Friends yard .while her dad was outside smoking .btw he's a marine to lol and big as fuck
Took a shit in the middle of a public park at 1 AM in the morning. My bro and his friend where like, "What are you gonna wipe you ass with?" and I replied "I use leaves *****!" Then a cop saw us and we ended up running through a trailer park and somehow made it onto some train tracks. I kept babbling on how about I have nothing to live for and they should just make it back to my house and I'll take the fall even though we lost the cop. We kept walking along the train tracks and I think I remember falling over once but according to my partners in crime I fell over at least 5 times. We finally made it back to my house at like 3 AM and I puked and passed out. I woke up the next morning with the worst hangover I ever had and I found a rock in my coat pocket. I asked how the hell it got there and they told me you picked it up and put it in there. I've been extremely drunk many times before but this is the only time where I can barely remember anything.
Jerked of right in front of my friend in a tent. No shame in my game I was just laying there going to town. I don't know what he was doing probably watching me. I jizzed.
This didn't happen to me, but me and like 12 friends were celebrating one of my friend birthday at some restaurant.... 2 of the guys both drank a bottle of whiskey (mixed with coke) each from 2pm till around when the party started. Then they came around 7pm already pissed drunk. I get one of them a beer, and we kept on drinking for a while then myself, the same 2 guys and some others went out for a smoke, and they also took my skateboard. Then one of them grabbed my skateboard and started chasing my other friends with it..... Then one of them puked in some bush (not a private property tho).... After a while, i started feeling things, so i wandered into some neighbors yard (next to the restaurant), and threw up in their bushes...... After i threw up, some cop drove past
I went to this LGBTQ event with my wife with an open bar, I ended up telling one of the founders of the event that his shoes were the faggiest gayest thing I've seen, gayer than Elton John blowing Liberace in a rainbow bath house. On New Years after I turned 21, I lit a shit ton of fireworks at 11:45 pm, got the cops called on me, lost my shoe, my pants, my hoodie and somehow ended up sleeping in my friends canoe in his backyard
[quote name='"Annicus"']I went to this LGBTQ event with my wife with an open bar, I ended up telling one of the founders of the event that his shoes were the faggiest gayest thing I've seen, gayer than Elton John blowing Liberace in a rainbow bath house. On New Years after I turned 21, I lit a shit ton of fireworks at 11:45 pm, got the cops called on me, lost my shoe, my pants, my hoodie and somehow ended up sleeping in my friends canoe in his backyard[/quote] Hahaha damn that sounds like a crazy New Year's Eve.
Was in a car that ran off the road grabbed the cooler of beer and all four bottles of vodka and Tequillia and we took off. Ran from the cops in the woods for about 6 miles which in our drunken stupor took about 10 hours... It was not a good night at all. We were all soaking wet and bleeding quite a bit.