Hey GC, I'm in need of some $$$. I figured since I have enough semen to feed the hungry, I should look into becoming a sperm donor. I filled out a huge questionnaire all about my education, my background, my family's background, our origin, my interests, my sexual activity, my fitness, and general level of health. To my surprise, I passed the initial screening, and they want me to come in and give a sample for testing. A couple questions.. need answers to all if possible: 1. How will my marijuana use affect my chances? I haven't smoked in 11 days, and plan on giving the sample around the 25 day mark. 2. Will my workout supplements hurt my chances? I take creatine, arginine, and glutamine pretty regularly. 3. Any tips/info? I'm not about to waste my time/get my hopes up if I have NO CHANCE WHATSOEVER based on these circumstances. I have no idea how this process works. Thanks in advance
Congratulation, you've passed the initial screening!! Now you are a professional masturbator! You're getting PAID to jack off! Wow. That's great man... -- I've never been a sperm donor, but I've had an experience, of having to excrete semens out my penis for legitimate scientific reason. So I know how it feels to masturbate 'officially'. It's like going into an office to masturbate. -- I had a surgery. They call it 'vasectomy'. After the surgery, the doctor told me to come back after 30 days for a sperm count. So after 30 days, I went to the hospital for my sperm count. It was a very awkward feeling, going to a hospital to jack off. Wait. Are you serious or are you trolling? If you're serious, I'll tell you the rest of the stroy.
Not trolling. I skipped living on campus this semester to save my parents, who are going through a divorce, $8000 on a dorm. The agreement was they'd pay for gas, parking, and food, which would be the 3 expenses that arose as a result from my decision. Well, they're cutting me off for financial reasons. If I don't find an income fast, I won't get to class. Simple as that. I need to know if the supplements and past weed use will kill my chances so I can take precautions to try to pass AND/OR so I can just say fuck it if I have no chance.
Oh GGrass, that's hilarious. Lmao. Anywhoooo the only thing I know about semen donation is from watching Road Trip...the woman said 'if you have smoked marijuana in the past 24 hours, sit down'. So according to the hot fake nurse you should be fine
Thanks much, Laura. Appreciate the info, really- anyone else have a take on this? Also, for the record, I AM applying for real jobs as well before anyone asks. I likely have one lined up if not two, but I'm just trying to maximize my position.
Figured as much. They said nothing about a drug test, so I wasn't really clear if it was going to be a semen-only test or if there was also a drug test. Also, if they do drug test separately from testing my sample, any ideas what kind of test it will be? Obviously if it's a follicle test, I'm fucked.
Excellent. Thank you for the info, +rep Any insight on my supplementation? I wouldn't think it should be a big issue...
What about donating plasma? Not as much work to start getting paid and they don't care about weed, only other drugs
I would, and it's definitely a noble cause, but it's not the same for what I'm looking for. Takes much longer, pays much less, has a lower maximum donation/week, and is... less enjoyable.
Not disputing this, but the ads don't leave any indication of that... it's pretty clearly stated that I will get $100 for each donation/visit to the bank. If I'm not paid for an unused specimen, fuck it. My mom raised a good point though... she's worried that someday the kid's gonna get back to me somehow looking to meet his/her real dad. I don't suppose it would really bother me too much, since I'm a pimp and all, but would he/she be able to?
bro that shit was funny if my kid came to me like that id think it was funny like i made a hundred bucks off you haha then prolly just roll up and tell them what else they wanted to know
i've always donated my sperm to the sewer system.. who knows what kiinda mutant creatures are living down there
Legally, you wouldn't be obligated to do anything for the kid and I'm sure whoever uses your sperm wouldn't want the kid to look for you. I guess it's possible that he/she could trace it back to you but it's likely that the kid wouldn't even know that he was made from some random person's sperm.
Sorry, OP, for doubting you. But with all these alledged 'trolls' running around, you can never be too sure. -- The thing about officially jackining off and trying to ejaculate into a plastic cup is that it's very stressful. But it's only stressful up until the moment you enter the room, which is designated for jacking off. Once you enter the room, you'll feel so relaxed... coz... The room is like a mini heaven for jack off enthusiasts. It's got dimmly lit light... a comfortable sofa... water, tea, coffee, and snack at your disposal... plenty of tissues... And most importantly, a giant flat screen TV playing various genre of porn on 7 different channels. Soft porn. Hard porn. Weird porn... Before I entered the room, I was worried I might not be able to fill the plastic cup, but after entering the room, I thought I should get a bigger cup. I familiarized myself with the TV's remote control and flipped thru the channels, and found just the kind of porn I was looking for. A Japanese Bukkake. I was in there for at least a full hour... I didn't want to leave... I felt so relaxed and comfortable, knowing that I was doing EXACTLY what I was supposed to be doing, which was to be masturbating. How often are you SUPPOSED to be masturbating? Not very often, if never. The porn was GREAT quality. DVD 9. Crisp clear picture. And the flat screen TV was bigger than the one in my bed room. It was awesome. As the Japanese dudes lined up and came one by one on this gorgeous babe who was already drenched in cum, I pointed my dick into the plastic cup and fired the first shot. Half of it got out, but a decent amount had gatherd at the bottom of the cup. However I felt the amount was not enough, so I waited for a reload. I took off all my clothes, and walked around the room naked with my purple dick hanging. It was an exotic feeling. To be in a hospital, and doing this. There was a strange kinky feeling to it. Knowing that there are people outside who KNEW I was jacking off in this room... The nurses were probably thinking about what I was doing in the room. I don't know. It's hard to explain, but it got me another boner. And I jacked off again, this time, with the nurse as the target. The guys in the porn fucked the daylights out of the nurse. One by one, they took their turns patiently, and each one unloaded their cum on the nurse's face. She couldn't even open her eyes coz there was so much cum, but anything that landed around her mouth area, she ate it all. As I counted 6 guys before me, the nurse opened her mouth, and I aimed and I came. I wish I had cum in the nurse's mouth, but unfortunately it landed in a plastic cup. But that was OK coz that's what I came here to do. Cum into a plastic cup. With the help of modern technology and media, I finished my mission, and staggered to the first floor feeling quite dizzy. I put the plastic up into the basket as previously instructed by the nurse, and left the hospital for a drag. After one hour, I went back to the hospital to hear the result. And the result was good. After the sperm count, I had exactly ZERO live round in my ammunition. From now on, I'll be shooting blanks for the rest of my life. Good bye my balls. I shall miss you dearly. -- Added : Sorry. Didn't mean to make this into ... this. I meant to say, "Jacking off into a plastic cup seems difficult, but once you see what's in the room, you'll be fine..."