Yesterday was the first time I smoked weed for the first time in months. I had been in jail during the couple months prior for "usage of a controlled substance" (marijuana). Originally I was charged with possession but that's all a different story. After I left the house I was smoking at, I walked the couple blocks separating that house and mine because I had to work- and all of a sudden my past snuck up on me. I was overwhelmed with a strong feeling of spirituality. It was the most profound experience of my life. I was reminded that I, like everyone was slowly nearing my death and i realized I would be going to hell. As if epic movie music was playing and i had the same feeling I would imagine getting if you were forced to kill someone by the military and just realized I killed my brother. I saw a car drive by with Amish looking folk in it. They definitely didn't help the paranoid state. Before yesterday I wasn't religious. I was fully identified as atheist. I have said terribly offensive things about God in conversation mostly because I like to add passion to spiritual debates. To the point where if Christianity was a complete truth, I'd definitely be thrown into the eternal abyss. I have come to the conclusion that I come from an obsessively christian background, and I was stoned... But instead of throwing the experience away as JUST being a side-effect of being stoned and paranoid, I have to believe that it meant something. Like I said, this was the most profound experience of my life. I realize I need to explore my spirituality deeper. Spirituality is something for a reason. Now I think it may not just be something, but the root of everything. And so my simple interest in Buddhism has manifested into devotion. I am in love with Buddhism as a spiritual path because it is open minded and doesn't have a belief system. It encourages learning. Anyway I'm getting extremely sidetracked. Have you had a similar experience? I am a tad moved still and have never encountered anything like this to this day. Ps this is my first post on this site, I love this community. Fellow bakers- -Entity
Welcome to the community. I'm glad you'll like it. I'm sure you'll fit right in. I've had some interesting experiences before. Experiences that sort of relate to yours. I was also brought up Christian at a young age. It never really stuck with me in later years but the last couple I've come to look at something a little bigger than ourselves and what we think we know. I tend to shy away from labels like god, Christianity, atheist, etc. I feel they take away from the importance of the experience, which is all that really matters anyway.
Why would you realize you are going to hell? Because you smoke cannabis and have been to jail? Who hasn't? That's nonsense, just as the concept of hell is. You had a profound emotional experience due to using quality cannabis, nothing more. If you are able to have that spiritual experience without being under the influence of a chemical, then perhaps you should run with that feeling. However, to change your entire life and beginning following a new belief system just because of one experience while high is probably not a wise decision.
Gotta drop the Abrahamic concept of hell if you want to get Buddhism. It's a karmic currency system. Keep your ledger in the black or you'll end up reborn in Naraka until you've gotten out of the red. Additionally, check out Wang Saen Suk Monestary Garden in Thailand (AKA: Wang Saen Suk Hell Garden). It's pretty much a park strewn with giant cement sculptures of life in hell.
I know it was the weed. I thought I was going to hell because I was taught as a child that people who don't believe in the resurrection of Jesus christ go to hell. I think it's think it's pretty deeply seeded into my subconscious.
It took me a long time to break that indoctrination too. I still feel weird sometimes when I do or say something that I was told would cause me to go to hell when I was a child. You know, there may actually be a deity or two out there, even though it's not very probable. But you should feel confident that the nonsense you were taught as a kid is wrong. The idea that one of thousands of religions on this planet is actually 100% right, especially one that comes from an obviously infallible ancient book is just silly. As an agnostic atheist I don't claim to know there is no god, but I do know with certainty that if a god exists it is unlike any worshipped by people on earth. This is just common sense basically.
I wouldn't worry about it. What if islam is true? Then the Christians will be in Hell anyway. There's really no point to worry. There's infinite possibilities.
If you're interested to a fusion between Christianity and Buddhism you should definitely read Thomas Merton. His books Zen and the Birds of Appetite, Spiritual Direction and Meditation and New Seeds of Contemplation are all excellent.
Believing in christianity out of fear isn't really believing. I learned for myself after being one for so long.
If you really choose to belive in christianity and it makes you live your life better then more power to you..there are better ways to delude yourself tho
that "what if" attitude makes it seem like you're not confident in its likelihood , but it's along the lines of pascal's wager and I'd think you'd be doomed even if you stuck to the religion , since if it's true the God would know that you're only believing in him as an insurance,
Hi Entity, Your post is very interesting. I am thinking that what you labeled as a profound Christian experience may have been just that! Why not test it? You can try a few things to help you know if what or who you encountered was a loving merciful God. Just because grass was in the picture does not mean other things were not in the picture. The grass may have just helped you relax and open up a bit for the encounter. Try asking when you are alone and quiet. Ask Jesus Christ, or Papa God to reveal Himself to you. Ask Him to touch your heart. Just say whatever is in your heart and mind, He's big, He can handle it. One tip though. What I've found is that obedience brings the next greater revelation. If you hear or feel something sweet and amazing, follow that and see what happens next. I will respond to a private message if you want to talk I'll give my #. I'm happily married and making friends here. Ornate
You say it was a Christian experience but you want to look into Buddhism, why not go back to the Gospel?
Probably because it's easier to take the leap from non believer to Buddhism than to Christianity. Christianity is more based on faith and other suspensions of logic. He didn't say it was a Christian experience, just that he came from an obsessively Christian background, but that he is fascinated with Buddhism. Since Buddhism requires no deity, I think he's making the right choice. Much easier and a more logical change for a non believer.